Elaboration

1. Continue… MENU EXIT Elaboration When your writing lacks details, your readers may not fully understand your ideas.

2. What is missing from these statements? I hurt myself. Wolves use different howls in different situations. Click to see a revision PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration When your writing lacks details, your readers may not fully understand your ideas.

3. ORIGINAL I hurt myself. REVISED I broke my wrist on Saturday when Antoine was teaching me to skateboard. ORIGINAL Wolves use different howls in different situations. REVISED Wolves use one howl to signal that they want to “talk,” another to warn of danger, and a third to greet each other on a hunt. Next PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration When your writing lacks details, your readers may not fully understand your ideas. Notice how adding details makes these sentences clearer.

4. Continue… PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Elaboration is the process of adding details to your writing to provide information and to clarify your ideas.

5. MENU EXIT Elaboration Elaboration is the process of adding details to your writing to provide information and to clarify your ideas. You can add details and explanations in a variety of ways. Click on the strategy you want to explore. MENU • Facts and Statistics • Sensory Details • Visuals • Similes and Metaphors • Reasons • Definitions • Expert Testimony • Examples • Analogies

6. Sensory details are words and phrases that appeal to the five senses. They enable readers to experience something as you experienced it. MENU EXIT Elaboration Sensory Details Sight blue-green triangular flock of geese Sound scream whisper rush of a waterfall Touch silky rough sharp as a needle Taste bitter spicy chocolate pudding Smell coffee popcorn pine needles

7. Sensory details are words and phrases that appeal to the five senses. They enable readers to experience something as you experienced it. Next MENU EXIT Elaboration Sensory Details Sight blue-green triangular flock of geese Sound scream whisper rush of a waterfall Touch silky rough sharp as a needle Taste bitter spicy chocolate pudding Smell coffee popcorn pine needles

8. Click to see examples of sight PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Sensory Details Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph? sight sound touch taste smell The picnic grounds were a swirl of color. Red, white, and blue banners hung on every available surface, and the spangled costumes of the baton twirlers sparkled in the sun. Sweet cotton candy felt gritty on my tongue, and the smell of grilled hot dogs spiced the air. Suddenly, a drum roll thundered out, and the band broke into the opening strains of “Dixie.”

9. Click to see examples of sound PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Sensory Details Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph? sight sound touch taste smell The picnic grounds were a swirl of color. Red, white, and blue banners hung on every available surface, and the spangled costumes of the baton twirlerssparkled in the sun. Sweet cotton candy felt gritty on my tongue, and the smell of grilled hot dogs spiced the air. Suddenly, a drum roll thundered out, and the band broke into the opening strains of “Dixie.”

10. Click to see examples of touch PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Sensory Details Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph? sight sound touch taste smell The picnic grounds were a swirl of color. Red, white, and blue banners hung on every available surface, and the spangled costumes of the baton twirlers sparkled in the sun. Sweet cotton candy felt gritty on my tongue, and the smell of grilled hot dogs spiced the air. Suddenly, a drum roll thundered out, and the band broke into the opening strains of “Dixie.”

11. Click to see examples of taste PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Sensory Details Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph? sight sound touch taste smell The picnic grounds were a swirl of color. Red, white, and blue banners hung on every available surface, and the spangled costumes of the baton twirlers sparkled in the sun. Sweet cotton candy felt gritty on my tongue, and the smell of grilled hot dogs spiced the air. Suddenly, a drum roll thundered out, and the band broke into the opening strains of “Dixie.”

12. Click to see examples of smell PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Sensory Details Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph? sight sound touch taste smell The picnic grounds were a swirl of color. Red, white, and blue banners hung on every available surface, and the spangled costumes of the baton twirlers sparkled in the sun. Sweet cotton candy felt gritty on my tongue, and the smell of grilled hot dogs spiced the air. Suddenly, a drum roll thundered out, and the band broke into the opening strains of “Dixie.”

13. Menu PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Sensory Details Can you spot the sensory details in this paragraph? sight sound touch taste smell The picnic grounds were a swirl of color. Red, white, and blue banners hung on every available surface, and the spangled costumes of the baton twirlers sparkled in the sun. Sweet cotton candy felt gritty on my tongue, and the smell of grilled hot dogs spiced the air. Suddenly, a drum roll thundered out, and the band broke into the opening strains of “Dixie.”

14. Click to see an example of a simile MENU EXIT Elaboration Similes and Metaphors A simile compares two things using either like or as. The comparison extends the description, adds detail, provides explanations, or expresses meaning or emotion.

15. Continue… PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Similes and Metaphors A simile compares two things using either like or as. The comparison extends the description, adds detail, provides explanations, or expresses meaning or emotion. That night the moon was round and white as my Sunday hat. —Lynn Joseph, “The Bamboo Beads”

16. Click to see an example of a metaphor PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Similes and Metaphors A simile compares two things using either like or as. The comparison extends the description, adds detail, provides explanations, or expresses meaning or emotion. That night the moon was round and white as my Sunday hat. —Lynn Joseph, “The Bamboo Beads” A metaphor describes one thing in terms of another, without using like or as.

17. Next PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Similes and Metaphors A simile compares two things using either like or as. The comparison extends the description, adds detail, provides explanations, or expresses meaning or emotion. That night the moon was round and white as my Sunday hat. —Lynn Joseph, “The Bamboo Beads” A metaphor describes one thing in terms of another, without using like or as. We could look down on our car and follow the ribbon of road through the farm lands until it was lost in the trees. —Lois Lowry, “Crow Call”

18. Click to see the simile PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Similes and Metaphors What are the simile and metaphor in this paragraph? simile metaphor The sun burned in the sky like a bare light bulb. Rolling waves of sand stretched in all directions. When I squinted my eyes into thin slits, I saw currents of heat turn into butterflies, then trees, then people. I was thirstier than I’d ever been in my life, and the plain water in the canteen that I held to my lips tasted cool and sweet and made me want to keep on drinking it forever.

19. Click to see the metaphor PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Similes and Metaphors What are the simile and metaphor in this paragraph? simile metaphor The sun burned in the sky like a bare light bulb. Rolling waves of sand stretched in all directions. When I squinted my eyes into thin slits, I saw currents of heat turn into butterflies, then trees, then people. I was thirstier than I’d ever been in my life, and the plain water in the canteen that I held to my lips tasted cool and sweet and made me want to keep on drinking it forever.

20. i Menu PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Similes and Metaphors What are the simile and metaphor in this paragraph? simile metaphor The sun burned in the sky like a bare light bulb. Rolling waves of sand stretched in all directions. When I squinted my eyes into thin slits, I saw currents of heat turn into butterflies, then trees, then people. I was thirstier than I’d ever been in my life, and the plain water in the canteen that I held to my lips tasted cool and sweet and made me want to keep on drinking it forever.

21. i MENU EXIT Elaboration Similes and Metaphors What are the simile and metaphor in this paragraph? simile metaphor The sun burned in the sky like a bare light bulb. Rolling waves of sand stretched in all directions. When I squinted my eyes into thin slits, I saw currents of heat turn into butterflies, then trees, then people. I was thirstier than I’d ever been in my life, and the plain water in the canteen that I held to my lips tasted cool and sweet and made me want to keep on drinking it forever. CLOSE Notice that “rolling waves of sand” also creates a comparison but does not use like or as.

22. Continue… MENU EXIT Elaboration Definitions Always define any potentially unfamiliar words for your readers. The simplest way to define a word is to explain its meaning in context – that is, in the sentence in which you use it.

23. What words should be defined in this sentence? Raking the lawn is a great source of raw material for compost and mulch. Click to see the words that need defining PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Definitions Always define any potentially unfamiliar words for your readers. The simplest way to define a word is to explain its meaning in context – that is, in the sentence in which you use it.

24. Click to see a revision PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Definitions Always define any potentially unfamiliar words for your readers. The simplest way to define a word is to explain its meaning in context – that is, in the sentence in which you use it. What words should be defined in this sentence? Raking the lawn is a great source of raw material for compost and mulch.

25. ORIGINAL Raking the lawn is a great source of raw material for compost and mulch. REVISED Raking the lawn is a great source of raw material for compost—decomposed organic matter such as leaves, grass clippings, and vegetable scraps—and mulch, or coarse particles of leaves, woodchips, and hay. Next PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Definitions Always define any potentially unfamiliar words for your readers. The simplest way to define a word is to explain its meaning in context – that is, in the sentence in which you use it.

26. Where would definitions help clarify this description? To turn plain rice into a feast, add condiments, especially chutney. Click to see the words that need defining PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Definitions

27. Click to see a revision PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Definitions Where would definitions help clarify this description? To turn plain rice into a feast, add condiments, especially chutney.

28. Menu PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Definitions To turn plain rice into a feast, add condiments, sauces and relishes for flavoring, especially chutney—a thick sauce of fruit, vinegar, sugar, and spices.

29. Continue… MENU EXIT Elaboration Examples An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like.

30. What are the examples in this sentence? An arts center could solve our community theater’s problems, such as being forced to rehearse in a drafty basement, a too-small stage, and the lack of a permanent performance space. Click to see the examples PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Examples An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like.

31. Notice how examples identify the specific problems faced by the community theater. An arts center could solve our community theater’s problems, such as being forced to rehearse in a drafty basement, a too-small stage, and the lack of a permanent performance space. Next PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Examples An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like.

32. Which terms in this sentence would be clarified with examples? Some tests include several different types of questions. Click to see the terms that need clarification PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Examples An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like.

33. Click to see a revision PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Examples An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like. Which terms in this sentence would be clarified with examples? Some tests include several different types of questions.

34. ORIGINAL Some tests include several different types of questions. REVISED Some tests, such as my English and history final exams, include different types of questions, like multiple choice, true-false, and short-answer. Menu PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Examples An example is a sample of something used to show what the whole is like.

35. Continue… MENU EXIT Elaboration Analogies An analogy is a comparison between two unlike things. Analogies can explain or clarify an idea or support an argument.

36. What is the analogy in this paragraph? The Africans came from many countries and from many cultures. Like the Native Americans, they established their territories based on centuries of tradition. —Walter Dean Myers, “Abd al-Rahman Ibrahima” Click to see the analogy PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Analogies An analogy is a comparison between two unlike things. Analogies can explain or clarify an idea or support an argument.

37. Next PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Analogies An analogy is a comparison between two unlike things. Analogies can explain or clarify an idea or support an argument. What is the analogy in this paragraph? The Africans came from many countries and from many cultures. Like the Native Americans, they established their territories based on centuries of tradition. —Walter Dean Myers, “Abd al-Rahman Ibrahima”

38. What are the analogies in this paragraph? Sailing is an inherently beautiful thing. To me it’s like dancing with the wind and the water; it’s like running with wolves—a perfect meeting of man and nature. —Gary Paulsen, “A Life in the Day of Gary Paulsen” Click to see the analogy PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Analogies

39. i Menu PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Analogies What are the analogies in this paragraph? Sailing is an inherently beautiful thing. To me it’s like dancing with the wind and the water; it’s like running with wolves—a perfect meeting of man and nature. —Gary Paulsen, “A Life in the Day of Gary Paulsen”

40. i Menu PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Analogies What are the analogies in this paragraph? Sailing is an inherently beautiful thing. To me it’s like dancing with the wind and the water; it’s like running with wolves—a perfect meeting of man and nature. —Gary Paulsen, “A Life in the Day of Gary Paulsen” CLOSE Notice that these analogies are also similes, using the word like.

41. Continue… MENU EXIT Elaboration Facts and Statistics A fact is a statement that can be proved. A statistic is a fact expressed in numbers. Adding a fact or statistic to your writing can help readers better understand your ideas.

42. Next MENU EXIT Elaboration Facts and Statistics A fact is a statement that can be proved. A statistic is a fact expressed in numbers. Adding a fact or statistic to your writing can help readers better understand your ideas. Fact: Women have aided the United States’ military efforts for more than a century. Statistic:Since the 1860s, more than 11 million women have served in or assisted the armed forces.

43. How could statistics help you better understand how large mammoths were? Mammoths in Africa, North America, and Eurasia were huge. Click to see the revision with statistics PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Facts and Statistics A statistic can often be used to elaborate on a fact.

44. This statistic clarifies how tall mammoths could grow. Mammoths in Africa, North America, and Eurasia often grew as tall as 14 feet. Next PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Facts and Statistics A statistic can often be used to elaborate on a fact.

45. What vague words could be replaced with facts and statistics to strengthen this paragraph? A lot of people in our community think our city should create bike lanes on all major streets to increase safety. Middle school students ride their bikes for transportation, fun, and exercise every day. They may be risking serious injuries, though. The number of young people hurt while cycling is alarming. Click to see the vague information PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Facts and Statistics

46. Click to see a revision PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Facts and Statistics What vague words could be replaced with facts and statistics to strengthen this paragraph? A lot of people in our community think our city should create bike lanes on all major streets to increase safety. Middle school students ride their bikes for transportation, fun, and exercise every day. They may be risking serious injuries, though. The number of young people hurt while cycling is alarming.

47. Notice how replacing the vague words and phrases with statistics strengthens the paragraph. Almost 90 percent of the people in our community I asked think our city should create bike lanes on all major streets to increase safety. Middle school students ride their bikes for transportation, fun, and exercise every day. They may be risking serious injuries, though. According to the National Safe Kids Campaign, in one year, more than 350,000 children under 14 were treated in hospital emergency rooms for bicycle-related injuries. Menu PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Facts and Statistics

48. Next MENU EXIT Elaboration Visuals Photographs, illustrations, charts, and graphs enable you to present information that might take several paragraphs to describe.

49. What do you learn from the following visual that would be harder to understand in words? i Next PREVIOUS MENU EXIT Elaboration Visuals

50. i MENU EXIT Elaboration Visuals What do you learn from the following visual that would be harder to understand in words? CLOSE With just a few words, this graph clearly compares the sizes of four ancient civilizations—Akkadia, Assyria, Babylonia, and Sumer.