My Life

1. My Life FHS-1500-042 By Melesio Silva

2. My Beginning • October 19,1978 – 9 lbs. 14 oz. -University of Utah Hospital

3. Parents • Anna Benavidez • Apache/Spanish • Joe Silva • My parents were never married, and my father and my mother parted ways when I was 3yrs old.

4. 8 Siblings • Andrella Rivas - sister 38 • Emiliano Silva - brother (Deceased) • My brother Emiliano and my sister Andrella come from my mom, my brother Emiliano and myself have the same parents. Andrella comes from a previous relationship and my other 6 siblings all came from relationships through my father after my parents departed ways.

5. Emilianos Passing • My baby brother passed away when I was 1 ½ yrs. old and he was 6 months. His death destroyed my mother, but she stayed strong and her faith got her through it for me and my sister. I come from a catholic family andour faith and love for god has gotten us pass tough times. I believe my brothers death played a key part in how my mother raised us, she was very protective and one might even say she was to protective. I don’t blame her , I would probably be the same way after losing a child.I wish I could have a memory of Emiliano, but I was to young

6. My Father • My dad is what I consider a weekend warrior, he would come over every other weekend and take me swimming or I would spend the night over his house. I consider my dad a friend more than a father our relationship works.

7. My mother • My mom was a single mother raising two kids and later having to raise 5 more, her brothers children. My uncle and his wife were addicted to drugs so my mom made the choice to raise his kids. I was probably 9 or 10 yrs. old when we got them. A lot of work and responsibility for all of us, and I just became the big brother to 5 cousins who I love.

8. Dad goes to prison • My dad went to prison for about 3yrs when I was 10 years old in Phoenix, Arizona for drug trafficking.I didn’t feel the effects of it at that time but as an adult now I can see the impact of having gone to see him and what that visit made me feel about prison and the choices people make to get them selves there.

9. Free, deported to Mexico • My dad got out 3 yrs. later and was deported back to Mexico because he was here illegally.That year I spent the summer with him, and after that I would spend every other summer there, great experience always good to know your roots.

10. Teenage years • Wow what can I say about those years, challenging and impactful. Junior High school was the biggest eye opener for me, my outlook on society and friends had changed dramatically. I was jumped for the first time and my trust in people had changed. The 90’s introduced Gangs to Salt Lake City and made it seem popular, I was became influenced by it and peer pressure was becoming a problem.

11. Gangster • In junior high I was feeling the effects of the gangster life or attitude. Those years, rap music and movies about gangs were popular and I think kids feel, I know I did that it was the thing to do. Amazing how music and mainstream media can have an influence on your life, crucial time to have a father figure or mentor.

12. High School • During my high school years I was very active with gangs. School took a back seat to my other activities, I was kicked out my junior year. Mom wasn’t happy about the choices I was making.

13. Trouble and Mexico • Trouble was catching up to me, I had got caught for my crimes. I was ordered to leave the state, my mom sent me to Mexico to live with my dad My life was out of control, while I was living with my dad I was feeling a little depressed. Farm life wasn’t for me, and on top of that my cousin was shot back in Utah and I felt responsible since I introduced to that life. I stayed in Mexico for a year, the relationship I had with my dad had become strained. It was an experience to say the least.

14. Back home • I came home in 1997 around December, my mom was happy to see me but she was also worried . My first day back I spent time with my family but later I went out, I had a lot of anger and was anxious to retaliate against anyone who had try to hurt the people I cared about. My mom kicked me out of her house that night, she didn’t want my little cousins to be influenced by my actions and I didn’t blame her. This was my life.

15. 18 to 21 • I was employed by my cousin working at a warehouse, going back to school was the last thing on my mind. I was a high school drop out and a gang member who didn’t have ambitions. I was content with partying as much as I can and living the gang lifestyle regardless of the consequences. I felt free, no responsibility’s and I felt invincible.

16. Impression • In the year 2000 My cousin Junior who was raised by my mom had joined the Marines right out of high school. He was younger than me by 4 years, he came home after boot camp and made an impression on me with his demeanor and attitude. At that time I had turned 22 and was getting tired of the same stuff, I was constantly asking my self what is my purpose in life and I think its time to change. Dare I say I think I was growing up.

17. Change • In 2001, I wanted to change my life, I had watched a series about the Coast Guard and thought that’s for me. I’ve always love the water and the thought of helping people and saving there lives was a big difference from what I had been doing, hurting and having no disregard for human life. In order to join I needed a diploma or at least a GED and I hadn't been to school in 4 years. I was anxious and felt like it’s now or never, I went to the Salt Lake Skills center and took my GED test. One week later I got my results and I had a GED certificate, I felt like a new person with goals and ambitions.

18. Coast Guard • After I got my GED I was focused, I met with a recruiter and we went over some things and I knew this was for me.The date I was suppose to report for boot camp was on September 13 and we all know about the horrible events that happened on September 11. That day changed my life and the lives of everyone in the world. I wasn’t able to go to boot camp until September 17. Cape May, New Jersey was my new home for the next couple months. Semper Paratus.

19. Station La/Lb. • I graduated boot camp in November of 2001, and my first and only unit was Station Los Angeles/Long Beach. Search and Rescue and Law enforcement was the units mission, and I loved Search and Rescue. I thought I found my purpose in life. The first 3 yrs. were exciting and fun, I had some good friends and I was feeling very stable and secure with my life.

20. Immigration • In 2004 immigration was a hot topic, I come from some one who migrated here illegally and granted he was that small percentage of illegal immigrants who break the law, but one bad apple should not ruin the batch. The topic of immigration was being discussed and expressed very negatively by my peers in the Coast Guard. There opinions and attitudes towards immigration was taking a toll on me. One of our missions were to enforce that law and I didn’t have a problem with doing it I had a problem with attitudes and sentiments regarding the people who were coming here illegally. It’s not a secret that illegal immigrants are predominantly Latinos, and my culture and roots come from Mexico, so this had an effect on me. We are a proud and hard working people, I am a proud American but I am also proud of my Mexican heritage. After my enlistment was up I decided to go back home, I didn’t want the opinions and sentiments of others to take away the pride I felt for the Coast Guard.

21. Back Home again • In 2006 after my enlistment was up I came back home. I was eager to go to school. I enrolled in a program to get my associates degree in less than 2 yrs., lets just say it wasn’t worth it. While in school I was working for TSA , I wanted to stay federal. My plan was to finish school and get a profession in the degree I was pursuing. When I obtained my degree it was hard to pursue another job because I was getting paid well and by that time I had 7 years of federal service counting my time in the Coast Guard. I stayed with TSA and I’m going on five years with them.

22. Balanced Life • I was feeling like my life was balanced, the goals I had set were being done and my social life was good, granted I wasn’t in any stable relationship but I enjoyed the dating scene. Life was good.

23. Love • In 2009 I fell in love with a co worker, she was a mother of two and just got divorced. Her name is Josette Vargas and her kids names are Jakob and Savanna. They would change my life completely for the better. I was on cloud nine, this was something I wasn’t expecting and it was wonderful. Love, it truly changes your life. The next two years would be a challenge for us.

24. Cancer • Everything I could have wanted was coming to fruition, I was in love with a beautiful, caring and compassionate woman with two wonderful children and my professional life was stable, plus I had my health at least that’s what I thought. In 2010, I was beginning to feel a lot more tired and weak, Josette wanted me to get checked just to be sure. I went for a physical and the blood work that was done showed I was slightly anemic. For a male to be anemic is rare, so my doctor asked questions about my bowel movements if I saw blood while I would use the bathroom. I had told him yes ,once in awhile I would see blood smeared on my stool but I would always assume it was hemorrhoids. They asked if I was willing to get a colonoscopy, just to make sure I didn’t have an ulcer or anything else wrong, I said sure why not. (continued)

25. Two weeks later I had a colonoscopy, the doctor who performed it told me I had a tumor in my intestine and two swollen polyps, she said it was possible I had cancer and they would do a biopsy and I would find out in a week. I was devastated, I knew the biopsy would tell me if it was cancerous or not but I couldn’t help but think the worse. After the colonoscopy I called Josette and she left work and we had a long talk, for the first time in a long time I was afraid. A week later and my results showed that I had colon cancer and It probably traveled to my Lymph nodes, at that time it felt like a death sentence, my emotions were up and down for about two weeks.(continued)

26. We had met with doctors at the Huntsman so we can go over a game plan for this fight. I had stage 3 colon cancer and it did travel to my lymph nodes. I was under the impression that I would probably get radiation to shrink the tumor and then surgery, I was told it mike take a while. That wasn’t the case, we met with the surgeon and my oncologist and they wanted to remove the tumor as soon as possible and start my chemo at least to months after my surgery. It was overwhelming, I wasn’t expecting things to move that quick, my oncologist explain that because of my age they felt like it would be beneficial for me to do it now while my health is strong. In a period of thirty 30 days I was diagnosed with colon cancer, about to go through major abdominal surgery and the day before my surgery we found out Josette was pregnant. I was definitely put to the test. My surgery was successful, they removed my tumor and I was focused on getting better so I can prepare for chemo therapy and a new baby on the way.

27. I’m going to be a daddy • My emotions were so unstable, I was happy about becoming a dad but I was scared about the cancer and the though of not being able to be around for Josette and the kids would race through my head. Everyday was a challenge , Josettes feelings and fears, the pregnancy, and dealing with my own fears we were definitely being tested. At anytime when we were feeling so overwhelmed with fear, we would stop and pray, that would help alleviate some of that fear. We really leaned on each other during this time and leaned on god for help and peace OF mind. I began my treatments 2 months after my surgery. My treatments were going to last for 6 months 3 days out of the week every 2 weeks. Didn’t have time or energy to think about any of it, my focus was on Josette and my unborn son.

28. Remission • In January of 2011 I finished my chemotherapy. I was relieved but worried at the same time that it did not work. Thanks to god it did, I was preparing to be a dad and the best dad to my son.

29. Donovan • On February 21 my son Donovan was born, I was the happiest man in the world. That last year really put my faith, my mind and my heart to the test, and I felt like this was gods reward to me. A healthy son and beautiful family. I am truly blessed and fortunate.

30. Fatherhood and School • After my treatments I felt like a new man, I became a proud papa and I was anxious to pursue my education so I can make my family proud. I enrolled with SLCC for online classes and for the most part I’m doing pretty good, I do have a couple snares every once in a while but that’s ok, being a parent and trying to continue with your education sure takes a lot of time and dedication. Its well worth it. I can say now I am a proud father of 3 wonderful kids and soon to be a proud husband to a perfect woman.

31. The present • Donovan turned one year old last month and Jakob and Savanna refer to us as a family. On July 14 me and Josette are going to get married and my last CT scan came back good , no signs of cancer. I know what my purpose in life is, fatherhood. Man I have a good life.