Step Up to Writing Training Four: Elementary and Secondary January 12, 2010 Lil Sedgwick and Kathy DeVries, Step Up Trainers Step Up to Writing Blog http://blog.weber.k12.ut.us/ksedgwick/
Agenda: • Scott Zellmer , Utah Formative Writing Assessment • Samantha Bills, Getting’ Them Ready • Topic Sentences • Conclusions • Summary Paragraphs • Step Up to Writing Blog
Scott Zellmer Utah Formative Assessment
Samantha Bills Gettin’ Really for Testing
Great Expository Paragraphs Topic sentences and thesis statements are the heart. 2-20 (2.36)
Power (Number) Statements Helpful Number Words Two, three, four, several, many, some, a few, numerous, a couple of, a number of, a myriad, various, plenty of 1. The new recruits learned fourimportant procedures. 2. In the winter I enjoy watching severalhigh school sports. 2-24 (2.44)
Power Statements • Must contain a number that indicates the number of points for items to follow. • I love yoga for three reasons. • The number may be explicit or implied. • I love yoga for several reasons. • New teachers should follow these two suggestions for a successful first year. 2-24 (2.44)
Power Statements • However, not just any number in a sentence will work. • Forty thousand people in Detroit practice yoga. • Do you want to have 40,000 yellow sentences? 2-24 (2.44)
Avoiding “There Are” • Start Power Statements with a: • Who • What • Where • When There Are 2-25
Occasion/Position Topic Sentences • A topic sentence that is a complex sentence structure and one that will add sentence variety and more syntactic sophistication.
Occasion/Position Statements If the 50’s party was going to be successful/ The Occasion: • Is the first part of the topic sentence • Introduces your reason for writing • Can be any event, problem, idea, solution, or circumstance that gives you a reason to write • Is the dependent clause in the complex sentence 2-21
Occasion/Position Statement cont. The position: • Is the second part of the topic sentence • States what you plan to prove or explain in your paragraph • Is the independent clause in the complex sentence T /the committee would need to do a lot of research.
Use a physical prompt to help students to sense the dependent clause is not complete: Stamp foot Clap hands Use voice intonation
Occasion/Position Topic Sentences Complex Sentence Although my family and I have taken many wonderful vacations, none was more fun and exciting than our camping trip to the Grand Canyon. 2-21 (2.39)
all cyclists. should wear them. Occasion/Position Topic Sentences Complex Sentence 1.Before you make the decision to light up a cigarette, consider the problems caused by smoking. 2. Even though bike helmets are sometimes unfashionable and uncomfortable, 3. If students use chemicals to do science experiments, it is important that they learn the proper way to dispose of them. 2-2 (2.39)
consider the problems caused by smoking. • Lung cancer • Emphysema • High risk of stroke Occasion/Position Topic Sentences Complex Sentence Before you make the decision to light up a cigarette, 2-21 (2.39)
Occasion/Position Topic Sentences Complex Sentence • Even though bike helmets are sometimes unfashionable and uncomfortable,all cyclists should wear them. • ___________ • ___________ • ___________ 2-21 (2.39)
Occasion/Position Topic Sentences Complex Sentence Tom gets into many misadventures. Since he is naughty , (2.39)
Occasion/Position Sentences An Occasion/Position Statement is a complex sentenceand begins with one of these words or phrases. In order that As Whether Until After Where Unless Though Before While Even if So that When Whenever Even Wherever As long as As if As soon as If Even though Although Since Because 2-21 (2.39)
Occasion/Position Sentences Although George Washington was president, he was also famous. Although George Washington was president, he was also a farmer.
Power Statements vs. Occasion/Position Statements Power Statement: New teachers should follow these two suggestions for a successful first year. O/P Statement: Although new teachers have received many years of college training,a newteacher can benefit from these simple suggestions. 2-21 (2.58)
However Statements • Creates a compound sentence • Independent clauses are joined bya conjunctive adverb 2-26
However Statements • The “however” is preceded by a semicolon and followed by a comma. My father is very strict; however, he has good reasons for all his rules. 2-26
however, he has good reasons for allhis rules. Teach responsible behavior Teach personal integrity However Statements My father is very strict;
However StatementsOther Conjunctive Adverbs • as a result • consequently • furthermore • in fact • meanwhile • likewise Pre-service teachers are well-schooled in theory;meanwhile, the practical aspects of teaching are ignored. 2-27
And, But, Or Prepositions To plus a Verb List Statements Get Their Attention Side-by-Side Semicolon Noun, Two Comas Using a Quotation Topic Sentence Options
that his life was filled with challenges. “Things” Trap Weak: As I read about Ben Franklin, I learned two things. Better: As I read about Ben Franklin, I learned 2-38
Better Word Choices • Actions • Benefits • Features • Reasons • Improvements • Ideas • Items • Choices • Qualities • Thoughts 2-38
Practice Writing Topic Sentences • Family pets • O/P: • Although he smells,Bud is a great dog. • Side-by-Side: • Bud stinks, drools, and sheds all over the house. He’s also my best companion.
Writing Great Conclusions Conclusions tie it all together. 2-49 (2.75)
Conclusions • Provide an opportunity to sum up key/star ideas and really emphasize the topic sentence.
Follow this simple rules for writing conclusions:(See 5-17a through 5-17d intermediate) First: Go back to the topic in the introduction. Stay on topic Use words from the topic sentence or synonyms. Do not add a new topic
Simple rules continued…. Next, remind your readers of your topic and what you wanted to prove or explain. Use a new action verb that means the same thing Use synonyms for important nouns Use a new kind of sentence.
Focus your conclusion in one of four different ways. • 1. Summarize key points… Example: Everyone can do something. As this report shows, students, business men and women, senior citizens, and yes, even firefighters can help conserve water.
. • 2. Convince your readers… Example: Don’t think that what you can do isn’t much and won’t help. Everything you do to conserve water will make a difference now and in the future.
. • 3. Encourage your readers to take action… Example: If we all just turn off the faucets and don’t let them run, we can help. Tell your family and your neighbors. They will probably want to do their part.
. • 4. Give your readers a reason to remember. After my family decided to conserve water, we felt good. Each day we learned something new that helped save even more water. At first we had to remind each other, but now it is just a habit. We plan to keep this habit for many years.
Tips… • Keep your conclusion interesting by using different kinds of sentences and different sentence lengths. • (i.e. Intermediate Tool 5-17c)
. • Notice the ways that other writers add conclusions. • (Use articles, essays , news papers and magazines to examine the conclusions to learn new tips and techniques) (i.e. Intermediate Tool 5-17d)
Tips for Writing Conclusions 1. Restate the position 2-49
Tips for Writing Conclusions • 2. Using Synonyms: • Although new teachers have received many years of college training, a new teacher can benefit from these simple suggestions. New: novice, neophyte, beginning, freshly minted, first-year Teacher: instructor, pedagogue Benefit: profit, gain, improve Suggestions: ideas, tips, pointers, recommendations 2-49 (2.74)
Tips for Writing Conclusions 3. Use “conclusion” words or phrases. • in conclusion • certainly • definitely • to sum up • clearly • surely 2-49
Tips for Writing Conclusions 4. Avoid — • As I have said • As I proved • As you can see