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Chapter Four. Love, Intimacy, and Sexual Communication. Historical Perspectives. Arrange Marriages Dowries Bundling Marriage for Love and Intimacy. Establishing Early Intimacy. Field of Eligibles Physical Attractiveness The “Beautiful is Better” Bias The Effect of Media

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Chapter four
Chapter Four

Love, Intimacy, and Sexual Communication

Historical perspectives
Historical Perspectives

Arrange Marriages

  • Dowries


    Marriage for Love and Intimacy

Establishing early intimacy
Establishing Early Intimacy

Field of Eligibles

Physical Attractiveness

  • The “Beautiful is Better” Bias

  • The Effect of Media

  • The Matching Hypothesis


  • Proximity Effect

  • Mere Exposure Effect



    Reciprocity of Attraction

John lee s styles of love
John Lee’s Styles of Love

The Six Styles

  • Eros Love

  • Ludus Love

  • Storge Love

  • Mania Love

  • Pragma Love

  • Agape Love

    Combining Love Styles

Robert sternberg s triangular theory of love
Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

The Three Components

  • Intimacy

  • Passion

  • Commitment

Robert sternberg s triangular theory of love1
Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

Possible Combinations of the Three Components

  • Liking (I)

  • Infatuation (P)

  • Empty Love (C)

  • Romantic Love (I & P)

  • Fatuous Love (P &C)

  • Companionate Love (I &C)

  • Consummate Love (I, P & C)

    Applying the Triangular Theory

Communication in love relationships
Communication In Love Relationships

Self-Disclosure: How Much Should You Reveal About Yourself?

Behavioral Attributions: Why Did You Do That?

  • Relationship-enhancing Attributions

  • Distress-maintaining Attributions

    Patterns of Effective Communication

  • Validating Communication

  • Volatile Communication

  • Conflict-avoiding Communication

Communication in love relationships cont
Communication In Love Relationships (cont.)

Communication Warning Signs

  • Criticism

  • Contempt

  • Defensiveness

  • Stonewalling

    Improving Communication

  • Understanding Intimate Communication: Six “Simple Truths”

  • Enhancing Intimate Communication: Five “Rules”

Sexual communication
Sexual Communication

Sexual Self-disclosure

  • Barriers

    • Lack of Information

    • Embarrassment

    • Insecurity About Using the Right Words

    • Sexual Taboos

    • Fear of Judgment

    • Fear of Rejection

  • Strategies for Improving Sexual Communication

Losing love ten reasons why relationships fail
Losing Love: Ten Reasons Why Relationships Fail

  • Lack of Self-knowledge

  • Acceptance of Sexual Myths and Stereotypes

  • Ineffective Communication

  • Imbalances of Decision-making Power

  • Low Self-esteem, Insecurity and Lack of Self-confidence

  • Isolation

  • Failing to Keep Promises, Lying, or Cheating

  • Excessive Jealousy (Normal vs. Delusional)

  • Control Issues

  • Violence

Abusive and violent relationships
Abusive and Violent Relationships

Types of Relationship Abuse

  • Physical

  • Verbal

  • Emotional

    In Touch with Your Sexual Health: Signs of Relationship Abuse

  • Signs That You May Have an Abusive Partner

  • Signs That You May Be an Abusive Partner

The cycle of violence and abuse
The Cycle of Violence and Abuse

  • The Honeymoon Phase and/or the Beginning of the Relationship

  • The Tension-building Phase

  • Explosion

  • Return to the Honeymoon Phase

Getting out and moving on
Getting Out and Moving On

Leaving a Violent Relationship

The Temptation to Go Back

Self-Discovery Your Criteria for a Healthy, Nonabusive Relationship

  • What Qualities Do You Require?

  • What Characteristics Are Unacceptable?

    Loving Again