Welcome to Clear Language Report Writing Presented by; Peter Fedos

1. Welcome to Clear Language Report Writing Presented by; Peter Fedos

3. Introductions In five minutes … Using 75 words or less … • Introduce yourself. • Outline why you are taking this course? • Explain how you think this workshop might help you.

4. Participants will: • be aware of clear language writing • introduced to techniques of clear writing and practice techniques • be aware of clear language report creation and practice creating reports • understand ways to create templates for their needs Workshop outcomes

5. Before After Your writing will be leaner

6. What is Clear Language Writing? • way of writing that allows the reader to understand what your are saying the first time they read it • Any message, written with the reader in mind … • that gets its meaning across clearly and concisely • so the reader can take the appropriate action

7. So what’s in it for me huh? Is Plain Language Better? - Maria Mindlin (2011) Readability Study of Plain Language Court Forms Research found A greater number of consumers understand and are able to comply with any expectations contained in the forms. And Consumers who use plain language forms to access information and are more confident and self-reliant. Maria Mindlin (2011), Is Plain Language Better?, Retrieved from: http://www.transcend.net/library/legalCourts/PLStudy.pdf

8. My story … University of the Fraser Valley Academic Portfolio Had to demonstrate and show real examples of in 13 Core Areas - Knowledge, Skills and Aptitude (KSA’s) Used Clear language formats and …What happened?

9. The biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished. George Bernard Shaw Have you ever … • had to go back an read something over and over again ? • had someone repetitively asking you what your writing means, when you think its clear ?

10. When always asked to explain our writing • Supervisors full of themselves • We think we … • write well by using fancy words • are great communicators because of our writing style We are like IT Support Staff - blaming user error !!! • Background • We devleoped own jargon because it’s never our fault. • Reasoning • comprehension challenges with my writings are… READER ERROR

11. Clear language writing uses … • clear writing • effective organization • inviting presentation all keys to creating readable and informative documents

12. Key Plain Language Techniques • Identify Your Audience and Write for them • Use Active Voice • Keep paragraphs and sentences short • Limit jargon, legalese and acronyms … anything but simple

13. Clear Language • helps the reader find the information • helps the reader understand the information • makes it accessible to a larger audience

14. Uses … • straightforward language • concrete examples • familiar words Writing technique organizes information in ways that make sense to the reader

15. Clear Language Getting rid of some myths first does not use slang Not … abrupt rude ugly

16. Clear language myths Not • ungrammatical or childish and… Does not involve over-simplifying or 'dumbing down' the message making it lose precision, force or effect.

17. Clear language writing • is not limited to expressing only simple ideas • works for all kinds of writing • from an internal memo to a complicated technical report, can handle any level of complexity Edward P. Bailey, (1996) Plain English at Work: A Guide to Writing and Speaking. Oxford Univ. Press

18. Helps • avoid misunderstandings • reduce errors • Saves time • gets the job done the first time • spend less time correcting errors and responding to people who did not understand what it is you tried to say

19. Re: Canadian adults • 30% have same difficulty with everyday reading tasks Stats Canada (1990) • Decimastudy for Stats Canada found … • 3/5’s had trouble responding to their study because of reading difficulties • 3/4’s of Canadians say government documents are too difficult to read

20. Successful Written Communications - Canada Government of Canada (2003), Successful Communication: Literacy and You

21. People don’t read, they scan … Nielsen and Morkes - 1997 study • 79% of their test users always scanned any new page they came across • only 16 percent read word-by-word • Study of people reading text on tablets … • found higher reading speeds than in the past • tablet readers are still slower than reading print material • Clarity (2010), Lisbon Conference

22. Benefits when using Clear Language document is easy and quick to read reaches people who have reading difficulties all readers understand the information

23. Address one person - not a group • Even though your document may affect a thousand or a million people • You are speaking to … • the one person who is reading it • When your writing reflects this … • more economical and has a greater impact

24. Address one person - not a group • Addressing a single person • you avoid awkwardness by using “you” to address the reader directly • Rather • than using “he or she” or “his or her.”

25. Address one person - not a group Confusing plural The applicant must provide his or her mailing address and his or her identification number. Clearer singular You must provide your mailing address and identification number.

26. Before you begin writing Ask yourself … • Who is your audience? • Why are you writing this document? • What do you want to say?

27. should be able to answer … • how your reader will use your document • how you will organize information • how you will present information

28. Organize your ideas

29. Effective writing

30. Clear paragraphs

31. Clearsentences

32. Repeating words in sentences and paragraphs • Try not to repeat the same word in paragraphs or sentences • hurts your document by causing ‘drone’ • use thesaurus or other word tools

33. Repeating words Assessing the value in working at home involves paying attention to company beliefs, setup and real estate costs. Telecommuting policy changes companyphilosophy. Productivity and morale issues surface during companyculture shifts. Addressing the following staff and companyconcerns, helps make any company telecommuting plan an effective work alternative. Company = 5 X’s

34. Assessing the value in working at home involves paying attention to company beliefs, setup and real estate costs. Telecommuting policy changes corporate philosophy. Productivity and morale issues surface during industryculture shifts. Addressing the following staff and organizational concerns, helps make any business telecommuting plan an effective work alternative. Revised

35. About using And Ands • only connect three things with it We are writing a report showing {stuff - 1}, {stuff- 2} and {stuff -3}. This report is easy to read, connects the readeranddraws on clear language techniques.

36. Paragraphs Fix this … Please furnish medical evidence in support of your pension claim. The best evidence to submit would be a report of a recent examination by your personal physician, or a report from a hospital or clinic that has treated you recently. The report should include complete findings and diagnoses of the condition which renders you permanently and totally disabled. It is not necessary for you to receive an examination at this time. We only need a report from a doctor, hospital, or clinic that has treated you recently. This evidence should be submitted as soon as possible, preferably within 60 days. If we do not receive this information within 1 year from the date of this letter, your pension claim will be denied. Plain Language Action and Information Network, Plain language.gov

37. Revision • What we need • We need more information from you in order to process your pension claim. Please send us a medical report from a doctor or clinic that you visited in the past six months. The report should show why you can't work. • When we need it • We need the doctor's report by [date]. We'll have to turn down your pension claim if we don't get the report by that date.

38. Fix this If you fail to comply with your duty of disclosure and we would not have entered into the contract on any terms if the failure had not occurred, we may void the contract within three years of entering into it. If your non- disclosure is fraudulent, we may void the contract at any time. Where we are entitled to void a contract of life insurance we may, within three years of entering into it, elect not to void it but to reduce the sum that you have been insured for in accordance with a formula that takes into account the premium that would have been payable if you had disclosed all relevant matters to us.

39. Revised You did not comply with your duty of disclosure. We are entering into this contract because you did not comply. We may void this contract within three years of going into it. If your non disclosure is fraudulent we could void this contract at any time. Where we are entitled to void this life insurance contract. We may elect not to void it and opt to reduce the sum that you have been insured for. The sum reduction uses a formula which takes into account payable premiums.

40. Sentences Check … • active voice • positive in tone • avoid double negatives • link your ideas using; that, which, who These words link ideas in a sentence and make meaning clearer for readers.

41. Use Active Voice • be transparent • show who or what is doing the action upfront Instead of… New regulations were proposed. Use… The Department of Transportation proposed new regulations.

42. Example: In early October, all applications will be reviewed by the admission’s committee for the spring. Active Sentence In October, the committee will review all applications for the spring.

43. Active Sentence

44. Subject & Verb Relationship Too much information between the subject and the verb makes it difficult for the reader to find out what the subject of the sentence is doing.

45. Messy relationships Example The committee, which was assembled at the request of the Cabinet on the recommendation of the coalition of citizens’ group, will consider alternative approaches. Revised The coalition of citizen’s groups recommended that Cabinet assemble the committee. At the Cabinet’s request, the committee will consider alternative approaches.

46. Link Your Ideas Do not shorten sentences by leaving out words such as That, Which, and Who. Use these words, to link the ideas in a sentence and make the meaning clearer for your reader.

47. Using links Example The driver of the truck passing by told the officer in the cruiser the car he saw hit the little girl in the intersection was red. Revised The driver of the truck told the officer in the cruiser thatas he was passing by, he saw a red car hit the little girl in the intersection.

48. Keep it Short Make sure • average sentence length to 15 – 25 words • rewrite sentences more than 25 words long Word count is you friend.

49. Shorten it … There is no escaping the fact that it is considered very important to note that a number of various available applicable studies ipso facto have generally identified the fact that additional appropriate nocturnal employment could usually keep juvenile adolescents off thoroughfares during the night hours, including but not limited to the time prior to midnight on weeknights and/or 2 a.m. on weekends. 62 words Revised More night jobs would keep kids off the streets. 9 words !!!

50. Sentence hint Avoid sounding like an elementary school textbook by using a variety of sentence lengths.