Suite Style: Building Community and Handling Roommate Conflicts

1. THE SUITE LIFE

2. In a group of three (in the three closest people): Think back to when you first arrived to campus (last year, many years ago, this week!)... How did you feel? ● What did you need? ● What happened in the first week of your first year? ● 2

3. SUITE STYLE IN A NUTSHELL Double Door Barrier! 3

4. SETTING THE TONE: The first six weeks are the most crucial for community building. If you knock on their doors to check in, that will be the norm for the year. SUITE STYLE IN A NUTSHELL ESTABLISHING YOURSELF AS A RESOURCE: Share information about campus and Kelowna. Ask how they’re doing. Offer help if they seem to need it. BUILDING COMMUNITY: Spending time with them and encouraging them to spend time with eachother! Running events and community builders, and being PRESENT. 4

5. o What: Unit Visits are a tool in Suite Style for RAs to connect with their residents through a 4:1 meeting. Why: staying present and engaged, gathering ideas, identifying needs, create unit expectations, transition… How: Conducting Unit Visit document When: Full Year Outline document UNIT VISITS o o o 5

6. UNIT VISITS: when? September January Welcome back! Introducing new faces, starting fresh and reminding units about standards Unit welcome to get to know your communities, create expectations, and explain your role! March End of year farewell to thank your community, check in about April Exams and Move Out processes November Mid-year check in to see how the unit is performing, explaining exam period, winter break plans, etc… 6

7. FLOOR MEETINGS Monashee Only: o Due to high numbers of first years and individual apartments there is value in holding floor meetings (bi- weekly/monthly) Working with your Co-RA or yourself to plan and implement How to hold a floor meeting ▪ Agenda ▪ Activities ▪ Survey needs ▪ Have a plan o o 7

8. HOUSEMATE AGREEMENTS - These agreements are integral to unit success and should be heavily implemented by you! You can complete them with your communities in Unit Visits. Let’s walk through the steps! - - 8

9. • • You are one! Think back to your first year… • How did you feel on move in day? • What did you rely on your RAs for? • What have you learned? Where are you now? • What would you look to an RA for? • What might a first year need from an RA that an upper year is less interested in? Power dynamics • Peer to peer position (regardless of year of study) • Trained to support those around you • The RA is not in charge WORKING WITH UPPER • YEAR STUDENTS • 9

10. o o What are they? Purpose: ▪ Shows that we trust our residents and gives them responsibility ▪ Allows us to know where social events will be taking place and where to follow up with during rounds ▪ Planned parties are more contained and organized than spontaneous, and allows our residents to know that we want them to have fun and make connections within residence Procedure: ▪ Residents must obtain form from Senior and return within three business days (72 hours) of event ▪ Still monitored on rounds, not a licence to have a wild rager ▪ Maximum of 20 people ▪ All roommates must agree – talk about during unit visits etc. ERFs (event request forms) o 10

11. Important things to know: - Deadlines - Communication with RLM - Communication/Resident Outreach - OneDrive - After hours - Feedback - Programming WORKING WITH NOURAN 11

12. TIPS N’ TRICKS FROM RETURNERS Main Ideas: o o Unit Visits Suite Style in general – what works and what is more challenging Cascamon Legacy events in general What it’s like to live and work in Cascamon o o 12

13. Conflict Mediation WHEN ROOMMATE AGREEMENTS AREN'T ENOUGH

14. ROOMMATE CONFLICTS ESCALATION Your roommate(s) does something that annoys you, but you don't want to have a confrontation so you let it slide. Then they do something else. Then they do ANOTHER THING. They are the worst person in the WORLD and you hate them. Students almost never want to talk to their roommate(s) themselves. • Coach them to bring up the issue ⚬ How did their roommate say they'd like to be approached in the roommate agreement? • Help them think of their ideal outcome • Role-play the conversation with them ⚬ They need to be direct ⚬ They need to be neutral ⚬ They need to say what they want to • Check back in a week ⚬ Did they talk to their roommate? ⚬ Did the behaviour change?

15. The Mediation: Pre-conversations Only done after the resident talked to their roommate themselves MEET WITH BOTH ROOMMATES SEPARATELY • What is the issue from their side of the story? • What is their ideal outcome? • What are they comfortable compromising on? • Talk to them about how the mediation will work, role-play the conversation if they'd like to • Don't let them get too heated about their roommate, keep it productive • Offer options instead of solutions (active listening!) • Document these conversations with Resident Interaction Logs

16. The Mediation: It's Go Time Find a time not long after your individual conversations for the unit (or the affected residents) to meet with you • Choose a neutral location • Set ground rules ⚬ Taking turns to talk ⚬ No interrupting ⚬ Whatever will make the students feel comfortable • Each roommate shares their side, and gets to respond to their roommate's comments • Find a that each roommate is comfortable with, based on their ideal outcome that they shared in your initial meeting • Edit the roommate agreement, if necessary • Document with a Resident Interaction Log

17. The Mediation: Follow Up • About a week after the mediation meeting • Follow up separately with each roommate ⚬ How are they feeling? ⚬ Do they think their roommate changed their behaviour? ⚬ Do you need to re-visit the roommate agreement again? • If the roommates still aren't happy, talk to your RLM about next steps

19. EBI Results Want sense of belonging Did not feel connected to Programming Need more effective advertising; students were unaware of GOALS programming Very busy with school & stress is the biggest factor for failure 19

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