languaging for leadership choosing words that work better n.
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Languaging for Leadership Choosing words that work better. Ancient Wise Saying.

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Be careful of your WORDS because your words become your thoughts. Be careful of your THOUGHTS because your thoughts become your actions. Be careful of your actions because they create your HABITS. Be careful of your habits because they create your CHARACTER. Be careful of your character because it creates your DESTINY!
self talk
Self- Talk
  • Personal pictures
  • Filled in details
  • It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
    • Body language
    • Inflection
    • Facial expression
    • Timing

Those things do matter BUT the most subtle and devastating block to communication may well be the actual words you choose to use.

  • Affective
  • Effective
cultural differences
Cultural Differences
  • Status indicators
  • Gestures
  • Appropriate body language
  • Reactions to each word
words translate into pictures
Words translate into pictures
  • emotional responses
  • memories
word selection languaging
Word Selection – “Languaging.”
  • There are choices between words in every situation.
  • Be aware of the intrinsic meanings attached to each word.
  • Choosing wisely.
don t
  • People can’t don’t. Tell them WHAT YOU WANT TO HAVE HAPPEN
  • F –finding
  • A –an
  • I – important
  • L –lesson
  • I –inviting
  • N-needed
  • G-growth
  • Depend on it!
  • Opportunity
  • Challenge
  • Situation
  • Improve
  • Build
  • And
can t
  • Won't
  • Can't YET
  • Not what I would do
  • Different
  • Interesting
  • uncomfortable
  • interesting
should and should have
Should and Should Have
  • Next time
  • Next time I’ll
  • Make different choices
my bad
  • Next time I’ll…
that s stupid
That’s stupid
  • That’s interesting
  • That’s different
  • What an unusual idea or action
  • Oh, no thank you.
  • Have you considered?
  • Thanks for thinking of me and…
  • Not at this time. Thank you.
i hate
I Hate
  • I don't understand ……
  • I do not enjoy ……
this is how it is
This is how it is
  • What if we………..?
  • Is it possible that …..?
the problem is
The problem is
  • Here's what we could do
  • As I see it
you never
You never
  • It appears you seldom……
  • I don’t remember seeing ….
you always
You Always
  • sometimes I think you…
  • often it looks like you…
listen to me
Listen to me!
  • Consider this, please
you said
You Said
  • I heard…
  • I think you said…
  • Did you say?
yes but
Yes, BUT
  • Please consider…
  • That might be true. Have you considered…
  • No thank you.
  • NO, I don't think so.
the problem is1
The Problem IS
  • The challenge we face is …
  • Here is how I see the opportunity…
  • The situation is…
don t let me catch you

Don't let me catch you

State what you want to happen

they said
They said
  • Be specific about who said it or what the circumstances were when you heard it.
you accusatory
You! (accusatory)
  • Human Beings…
  • Many people…
  • I have been known to…
we ll see
We'll see
  • Yes
  • No
  • I am not sure
  • I will get back to you by……
we tried that already
We tried that already
  • Didn’t we try that?
  • What did we learn last time?
it s too complicated
It’s too complicated
  • We need to break this down to simpler tasks
  • I think it only looks complicated. Let’s see.
it will never work
It will never work
  • We ‘re the only ones who could possibly make this work.
i can not get to it right now
I can not get to it right now!
  • We are on the same team and I promise I am doing everything I can to get to you
why did you
Why did you?
  • What reaction were you expecting when you?
  • Help me understand…….
  • How did you think we would react when….
Remember it takes a 21 days to make or break a habit and changing your word pattern will not occur overnight.