Talking to kids about alcohol

1. Talking to kids about alcohol The Alcohol Education Trust is a small charity that works with schools, parents, health workers, youth outreach teams, and pupils aged 11-18 across the UK - to prevent underage drinking, reduce binge drinking and drunkenness and helps keep our young people safe around alcohol… Facebook /talkaboutalcohol Twitter #talkalcohol

2. ‘It’s aspirational isn’t it? Our kids see soaps featuring booze and celebrities getting drunk and see it as cool and normal’ ‘I’m far more worried about the friends she’s hanging out with and her sleeping around’ ‘What can we do? We can’t monitor what he’s doing when he’s out with his friends’ ‘They don’t listen to us, it’s what their friends are doing that matters’ ‘It’s a right of passage - part of growing up - we did it’ Is this what you’re thinking? Our children will encounter alcohol what ever we do, so what’s the point?

3. You, in your kids opinion, are the most important influence • The example and role model you set • Setting house rules and sticking to them • Maintaining respect - both ways • Keeping open dialogue and trust • Knowing where they are, who they’re with and when they’re coming home

4. At what age should I talk about drinking? Very young children It is illegal to give a child under 5 alcohol. Kids as young as 7 understand ‘drunk’ Age 11- 13 The average age of a first whole alcoholic drink in the UK is thirteen and a half,so it’s important to get talking

5. Why is 13 too young? First whole drinks are usually in a family setting, as they should be, but there is a world of difference between sips and small amounts on special occasions and whole drinks. The CMO tells us parents should wait until at least age 15 and an alcohol free childhood is best, why? The more relaxed you are about alcohol, the more likely your child is to drink outside of the home The same amount of alcohol has a much greater effect on the body and organs of a child or young person than on an adult, because their bodies ( esp brains and liver) are still growing and developing. As parents, the longer we can delay the age of drinking outside of the home, the more likely our kids are to escape the risks around drinking

7. So why do we need to talk about alcohol? If a teenager drinks regularly before they are 15 they are: • 7 times more likely to be in a car crash because of drinking, and • 11 times more likely to suffer unintentional injuries after drinking. • Teenagers who regularly get drunk are far more likely to: • Injure themselves or someone else – even accidentally • Experiment with other substances legal highs, cigarettes and cannabis • Engage in unsafe sex, (risking STIs and unplanned pregnancies) • Have lower GSCE grades affecting their life chances (fall of 20 points) • Be robbed – especially of cash,cards and mobile devices • End up going home with a stranger or on their own • Get into a fight, an argument or relationship problems • Get into trouble with the police and end up with a criminal record

8. Older Teenagers Research shows that teenagers experiment with alcohol and often with friends (40% 15 year olds have been drunk at least twice) but if their parents have been good and open role models they are less likely to develop bad habits around alcohol.

9. 18+ When they’re heading out… • Remind them to have a fully charged mobile, to leave it on and to call if there are any problems • Always let someone know where they are going/are • Encourage them to pace themselves avoid speed drinking and shots • Warn them never to drink drive . And think about morning after? • Remind them never to • Leave their drink as it could be spiked • Take a lift home from someone they suspect has been taken drink or drugs • Leave on their own

10. Practical ways of delaying teenage drinking • Encourage sports, hobbies, clubs& social activities that keep your kids busy. Kids say hanging around with nothing to do is a key reason for drinking • If you work, try and share child care with friends during holidays, could they volunteer? Odd jobs for friends? • Make sure that you know the facts and laws about alcohol and can talk in a balanced way about the pros and cons of drinking – what is buying by proxy? • Talk and listen to your teenager – Understand the pressures they’re facing from their peers and wanting to fit in • Make sure that the house rules are clear, agree them together and what will happen if broken • If your teenager is going to a party, drop them off and pick them up, or book a taxi. • Check where they are going and who they are with -sleepovers • Be careful where you leave alcohol in the house .

11. Parent Types Tough Love Laissez Faire Strict Friends "Tell me more?"Monitoring from age 11 rather than "Where have you been?/ What have you been up to?"

12. Giving you the confidence to get talkingFact 1You’re the tops You may think they don’t listen -but 70% of children ages 8 to 17 say their parents are the No.1 influence on whether they drink alcohol BUT parents weren’t seen by most teenagers as good role models, or set ground rules that they stuck to • Only 21% said their parents were good role models • 55% of young people say that their school provides clear rules but only 27% say they have to abide by clear rules and consequences in their family, or that their parents keep track of where they are.

13. FACT 2 - Most teenagers DON’T go out and get drunk, or drink heavily • Most teenagers do not go out to get drunk: In fact, 57% of British 11-15 year olds haven’t even tried alcohol. • Underage drinking has halved in 10 years to 10% - so 90% don’t drink regularly and 72% think it’s unacceptable to drink weekly. • Among 16-24 year olds, 22% of men and 17% of women drink more than twice the guidelines. 6% drink three times the guidelines. • That means an overwhelming majority (78% of young men and 83% young women) go out to enjoy themselves and socialise and not to get drunk.

14. http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/ghs/opinions-and-lifestyle-survey/adult-drinking-habits-in-great-britain--2013/stb-drinking-2013.htmlhttp://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/ghs/opinions-and-lifestyle-survey/adult-drinking-habits-in-great-britain--2013/stb-drinking-2013.html http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/ghs/opinions-and-lifestyle-survey/adult-drinking-habits-in-great-britain--2013/stb-drinking-2013.html

15. FACT 3 - ‘The Tipping Point’ Just 1% of 11 year olds think it is okay to get drunk or have been drunk, this rises to 15% of 13 year olds who have been drunk at least twice and about 40% of 15 year olds with 26% drinking weekly This is why it is so important that you talk about drinking and its effects in a balanced way early enough before they come across alcohol outside of the home. Age 13 is “tipping point” when kids look more towards their friends and peers.

16. FACT 4 - Don’t send them underground Talking openly with your kids is really important. Secret drinking with friends away from home does happen. Friends houses and public places like parks are the most common If your child has been drinking, or got drunk, don’t be angry. Sit down and talk it through, find out why it happened, and explain to them what can happen to teenagers that get drunk. It can often have been scary. If they’re not sorry – how will you react?

17. FACT 5 - The law and underage drinking It is important to ensure you understand the law around drinking. It is against the law for anyone under 18 in the UK to buy alcohol in a pub, supermarket or other licensed outlet in the UK. Adults are not allowed to buy alcohol for under 18s in licensed premises. The only exception is that, 16 and 17 year olds are allowed to drink beer, wine or cider during a meal in licensed premises with adults. Under 5? It is illegal to give an alcoholic drink to a child under 5 except under medical supervision in an emergency. Under 14? It is at the Landlord's discretion as to whether children are allowed anywhere in a pub. They cannot of course, buy or drink alcohol on the premises. 14 or 15? You can go anywhere in a pub, but cannot buy or drink alcohol. The Chief Medical Officer now recommends that as a parent, you should not consider allowing a child under the age of 15 an alcoholic drink in the home It is legal for anyone over 5 to drink alcohol.The restrictions apply to purchasing (under 18) and location - on licensed premises or in alcohol exclusion zones. Police have powers to confiscate alcohol from under 18's drinking in public spaces (e.g. in the street or in parks). Buying by proxy? Knowingly buying alcohol for someone under 18 is an offence

18. Holding a house party • Think carefully before you say yes. Especially if the kids are under 16. • Agree the list of invites with your teenager. Don’t make the party too long. • Warn your teen about how they invite their friends –no open invitations on face book or chat on twitter • Agree the house rules and put your teen in charge •  You might have to stay out of sight for you kids street cred, but stick around • Provide plenty of food – not salty snacks, but carbs • Teenagers do sneak in alcohol in water bottles, mixed with soft drinks etc, so be prepared and work out how you’ll handle this. • Have loads of soft drinks and iced water available • If anyone is sick or ill, contact their parents and never leave them unattended. • Try and avoid big sleepovers, as the kids won’t get much sleep (or you probably) and you won’t know what’s going on once you’re in bed! • Finally, make sure you’ve warned your neighbours and have a reasonable finish time, allowing parents to pick up and get to bed too! • If it goes well, don’t forget to tell your teen how proud you are of them and their mates

19. Going to partiesOut of sight out of mind? Set the ground as carefully as you can to ensure your child stays safe at other people’s parties… • Speak to the host parents, even if you don’t know them. Tell your child you’re not prepared to let them go otherwise. Check an adult will be present and their policy on alcohol. • If you can, drop your teenager off and pick them up, or share lifts with parents you trust. • If sleeping over after a party at another friends house, check plans are genuine and again speak to the parents. Ask your child to ring or text you when they’re safely at their friends house. •  Make sure your teenager has had a good meal before they go out. • Check they have a fully charged mobile that they must keep on, and that you have planned how and what time they are getting home. • Be prepared to say no if you’re unhappy about a party or if your child doesn’t want you to speak to the host.. there’ll be rows, but it’s because you care, not because your being a killjoy. Offer an alternative treat pizza? cinema?, friends over? • Don’t feel pressured by younger teens to provide them with alcohol to take with them to parties... or threaten you that they’ll ask their mates to buy it for them instead (explain they risk their friend being fined or charged). • If your teen breaks your agreement, such as what time to be home, then make sure you carry through your threats, such as grounding them or taking phone away.

20. Perfect parents Enjoying a drink forms an important part of many of our social lives, when entertaining at home, relaxing and unwinding. To be good parents, it’s important to understand the concept of units, mixing and daily guidelines – as it can be very confusing!

21. Daily guidelines/units Daily guidelines for sensible levels of drinking have been established in the UK by Medics and specialists. They are set at a level where there’s little harm for adults of good health. Basically - a glass of wine a day of a pint or two. Women should not regularly drink more than two to three units of alcohol per day Men should not regularly drink more than three to four units of alcohol per day

22. .. and when not to drink • Most adults enjoy drinking and find it a sociable and relaxing thing to do. In the right context drinking sensibly is not harmful can form part of a healthy lifestyle, but there are times when drinking too much - or at all - can cause problems. For example: • DON’T • Drink and drive • Operate machinery, use electrical equipment or work at heights after drinking • Drink heavily before playing sport • Drink while on certain medications – ask your doctor if you are unsure • Binge drink - it can lead to health and other problems • Drink regularly over the low risk guidelines

23. What happens to alcohol in your body? Alcohol is absorbed into your body through the stomach and small intestines. Food slows this down Alcohol then flows into the bloodstream throughout the body. This happens quickly - within a few minutes

24. The role of the liver 90-95% of alcohol is broken down by the liver. The liver first changes the alcohol into acetaldehyde (toxic). The liver then converts acetaldehyde into acetate (harmless), and then into CO2 and water. Different people will process alcohol at different speeds Your body breaks down alcohol at a rate of roughly one standard drink per hour Drinking more than one unit of alcohol an hour will build up your Blood alcohol concentration (BAC) so that it may be many hours before you are safe to drive

25. How can you measure how much is too much? Glass sizes and the alcoholic strength of drinks make a big difference to how many units you drink. If you use large glasses for wine, just fill them a third full

26. Back Labels Many drinks now carry unit icons on the packaging or back labels

27. Perfect hosts The place where your children are most likely to absorb what you’re up to is at home – and it’s where we do most of our relaxation, socialising and drinking, but it’s often all too easy for the drinks to add up without you realising

28. Perfect Hosts • Prepare nibbles and dips that aren’t too salty • Make sure you have some interesting soft drinks, especially for guests who are driving home • Provide plenty of water • Think about the strength and size of the drinks • Be careful with top ups • Make sure your guests can get home safely

29. Visit our websites for tips, film clips, quizzes and lots of advice viawww.alcoholeducationtrust.org • Find us on facebook and recommend us to other parents and friends! • Facebook /talkaboutalcohol • Twitter #talkalcohol • Sign up to our parents newsletter! Visit www.alcoholeducationtrust.org or email sandra@alcoholeducationtrust.org