PARENTING APART Effective Co – Parenting

1. PARENTING APARTEffective Co – Parenting An Educational Program for Divorcing Parents Charlotte Moore, TSU Extension Program & Shea Austin, UT Extension

2. The Need for Education for Divorcing Parents • Tennessee has one of the highest divorce rates in the U.S. (currently 8th nationally). • Tennessee State Legislature passed a law requiring divorcing parents of minor children to attend a parent education program. (T.C.A. 36-6-401 et seq.) • Researchers have found that children of divorcing parents are hurt the most when parents place them in the middle of their conflict.

3. Purpose of the class • The purpose of “Parenting Apart: Effective Co-Parenting” is to educate parents about the impact of divorce, separation, and conflict on their children and to offer concrete actions that parents can take to help their children. • These sessions are educational only. They are not therapy or counseling sessions or sources of legal advice.

4. Domestic violence and divorce The processes of divorce and mediation Facts about divorce Dealing with stress How children react to divorce Positive communication skills Establishing the co-parenting relationship The family after divorce Helping children get through divorce Topics Covered in Program

5. Class Goals • Provide information that will help parents support their children’s adjustment to the divorce. • Help parents understand how and why conflict between them creates stress for children. • Encourage parents to work to decrease conflict.

6. Class Goals Continued • Encourage parents to cooperate with each other to reduce the amount of conflict their children see. • Encourage both parents to understand that children need a meaningful relationship with both parents, if at all possible.

7. Classes include: • Group discussion • Viewing of videos and lecture • Workbook about parenting through divorce • List of local resources

8. Instructors: • Classes are taught by UT Extension Family and Consumer Sciences Agents. • Agents have either a bachelor’s or master’s degree in Family and Consumer Sciences. • Agents have additional training in issues related to children and families and receive annual training on children and divorce.

9. How Can Classes Help? • Researchers at the Center for Divorce Education have found that parents who attend classes early in the divorce process have a 60% lower relitigation rate than those who attend later or don’t attend at all. • Parents who attend classes are more likely to create a shared parenting plan and reach agreements more quickly.

10. Do Parenting Apart Classes Make a Difference? • Parents who have completed classes report reducing the following behaviors: • Talking negatively to others about the other parent, • Sending messages through the children, • Insulting the other parent in front of the children, • Asking the children to take sides, • Asking the children about the other parent, • Arguing, complaining, yelling, and/or fighting in front of the children.

11. Recommendations • Unless it is unsafe, all divorcing parents of minor children should attend parenting classes, even if they indicate agreement and file a parenting plan; • Parenting classes should be attended early in the divorce process before the parenting plan is filed.