Bullying prevention & intervention: Safer environments, safe kids

1. Bullying prevention & intervention: Safer environments, safe kids Tyler Whitehead YRBS Coordinator/Bullying and Youth Violence Consultant Oklahoma State Department of Health

2. What Is Bullying? • There is no “set” definition of bullying • However, there are 3 criteria that are present in every bullying situation: • Aggressive behavior that is unwanted and negative • A pattern of behavior that is repeated over time* • Involves an imbalance of power *Current debate on whether or not the behavior(s) need to be repeated to be considered bullying

3. Definition “A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself." Dan Olweus

4. Types of Bullying • Verbal bullying including derogatory comments and bad names • Bullying through social exclusion or isolation • Physical bullying such as hitting, kicking, shoving, and spitting • Bullying through lies and false rumors • Having money or other things taken or damaged by students who bully • Being threatened or being forced to do things by students who bully • Racial bullying • Sexual bullying • Cyber bullying (via cell phone or Internet)

5. The young always have the same problem – how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.Quentin Crisp

6. Dangerous Words to Use When Dealing with a Bully • It’s just teasing. It’s no big deal. • The people in our school would never do….. • I know he/she did not mean anything like that. • It’s your fault for dressing so provocatively. • You need to learn to handle these things. • Just ignore it • She/he puts his/her arms around everyone. • Why can’t you learn to accept a compliment • You must have wanted it or you would have him/her “no.”

7. Dangerous Words to Use When Dealing with a Bully (continued) • That’s how they do things where he/she is from. • It’s just a joke. Lighten up! • Oh well, boys will be boys. • “If you are going to act so ₋ ₋ ₋, then you should be expected to be treated this way.”

8. Why Students Bully • Research suggests there are 3 interrelated reasons why students bully • Students who bully have strong needs for power and (negative) dominance • Students who bully find satisfaction in causing injury and suffering to other students • Students who bully are often rewarded in some way for their behavior with material or psychological rewards

9. Force is all – conquering, but its victories are short – lived.Abraham Lincoln

10. Impacts of Bullying • For the Victim: • School is supposed to be a safe place for everyone, however when students experience bullying, it can have lasting impacts on their health, education, and general well-being: • Depression • Low self-esteem • Health problems • Poor grades • Suicidal thoughts

11. Impacts of Bullying • For the Perpetrators: • Students that engage in bullying must be held accountable for their actions! Often students that bully others tend to: • Get into more frequent fights • Steal and vandalize property • Drink alcohol and smoke • Report poor grades • Carry weapons • Perceive a negative climate at school

12. Impacts of Bullying • For the Bystanders: • Often people do not realize that bullying not only impacts the victim negatively, but that the students that observe have negative outcomes from the bullying: • Feelings that the school is unsafe • Fear • Powerless to act • Guilt for not acting • Pressure to participate

13. Impact of Bullying • For the School: • The entire school climate is negatively affected when bullying is allowed to continue: • An environment of fear and disrespect evolves • Students feel fearful and insecure • Students dislike school • The staff is perceived as being powerless and uncaring • The staff may also be perceived to be bystanders or participants of the bullying

14. Bullying is… • Not normal conflict between peers, being that there is not an imbalance of power during normal conflict • Bullying can begin as young as age 3, however, the behaviors peek among middle school aged children and tend to decrease or plateau by high school • It is considered by some to be peer abuse and peer mediation and/or peer mentoring will not help to resolve bullying issues • There is a correlation between bullying behavior in youth and intimate partner violence later in life • Females bully just as often as males, however, males tend to bully more directly, whereas females tend to use more indirect methods, such as gossip and social isolation • Males tend to bully without regard to gender, but females tend to bully only females • Bullying IS a learned behavior!!! • Bullying IS a form of violence!!!

15. In violence we forget who we are.Mary McCarthy

16. Parental Roles • Parents play a huge role in their child’s attitudes toward bullying behaviors • It has been found that discipline style is related to bullying, with either an extremely permissive style of discipline or an exceedingly harsh style of discipline increasing the risk • Also, youth that come from homes in which their parents provide little emotional support, do not supervise their activities, and have little involvement in their lives are shown to have an increased risk of bullying • Bullying is generally a community problem, indicating pro-violence attitudes and tolerance of ostracizing differences

17. Physical Bullying • Physical bullying consists of: • Hitting • Kicking • Pinching • Punching • Scratching • Hair pulling • Biting • Spitting • Damage to or stealing one’s property • Any physical attack

18. Verbal Bullying • Verbal Bullying consists of: • Name-calling • Insulting • Making derogatory or offensive remarks • Sexist or homophobic jokes, remarks, or teasing • Using sexually suggestive or abusive language • This is the most common type of bullying • Harder to detect, as teasing among peers may be just normal dialogue among friends

19. Emotional Bullying • Emotional bullying consists of: • Spreading gossip, rumors, or generally nasty stories about someone • Exclusion from social groups • Being made the subjects of malicious rumors • Done more among females • Also hard to detect, as it is more indirect and difficult to find out the origin

20. Cyber Bullying • Cyber Bullying is any type of bullying that is carried on through electronic means: • Text messaging bullying • Picture/video bullying clips via mobile phone camera • Bullying phone calls via cell phones • Email bullying • Chat room bullying • Instant messaging (IM) bullying • Website bullying • Social networking bullying

21. What exactly is cyber bullying? • It is when a child, preteen, or teen is threatened, tormented, harassed, embarrassed, humiliated, or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen, or teen using an electronic means: • Must be minor to minor or instigated by a minor • If an adult is involved, then it is no longer considered bullying; it is considered cyber-harassment or cyber-stalking • Usually not a one time event • Bullies and victims can fluctuate

22. Cyber Bullying Lingo • Flaming: Online fights using electronic messages with angry and vulgar language • Harassment: Repeatedly sending nasty, mean, and insulting messages • Denigration:“Dissing” someone online. Sending or posting gossip or rumors about a person to damage his or her reputation or friendships. • Impersonation: Pretending to be someone else or sending or posting material to get that person in trouble or danger or to damage that person’s reputation or friendships • Outing: Sharing someone’s secrets or embarrassing information or images online • Trickery: Talking someone into revealing secrets or embarrassing information, then sharing it online • Exclusion: Intentionally and cruelly excluding someone from an online group • Cyber Stalking: Repeated, intense harassment and denigration that includes threats or creates significant fear

23. Types of Cyber Bullying • Cyber bullying can be done two different ways: direct attack and by proxy. • Direct attacks involve: • Instant Messaging (IM) and text messaging • Stealing passwords • Blogs • Websites • Sending pictures through cell phones and emails • Internet polling • Interactive gaming • Sending malicious code • Sending porn and other junk email and IM’s • Impersonation

24. Direct Attacks • IM and text messaging harassment involves: • Sending hateful or threatening messages, without really realizing the severity of the damage they are doing • “Warning Wars,” which is telling on the user to the Internet Service Providers (ISP) in order to get the target kicked off for a period of time • Creating a screen name that is very similar to another kid’s name and posing as the other person to use their identity to say inappropriate or mean things • Text wars or text attacks, where the victim is bombarded with hundreds or thousands of text messages, creating a huge bill and making their parents angry (can be done by more than one child) • Sending death threats via text messaging or IM, even posting videos or pictures

25. Direct Attacks cont. • Kids may steal another kid’s password for many reasons: • To pose as the other person and say mean or offensive things to turn others against the victim • To change the victims profile to include sexual, racist, or otherwise inappropriate things to offend others • Can be used to lock the victim out of their own account • Once the password has been stolen, it can be used by hackers to break into the victims computer

26. Direct Attacks cont. • While blogs may be a fun way for youth to keep up with each other, it can be used to put embarrassing or hurtful information about others: • For example, a kid might post mean things or embarrassing things about a girl after breaking up with her • Can also be a venue for a kid to imposter another kid and say offensive or embarrassing things

27. Direct Attacks cont. • Youth can also bully through websites and internet polling: • Kids may create web pages containing dangerous personal information, such as address and phone numbers, insulting remarks about others or groups of people, or pictures • “Who’s Hot? Who’s Not?!” “Who’s the biggest slut in 6th grade?” There have been websites created to poll other youth, in which they will name certain kids or post pictures to determine who is the ugliest, fattest, etc…

28. Direct Attacks cont. • Sending picture/video messages through email or cell phones is another way that youth can bully one another: • Kids may send nude pictures/videos or degrading pictures/videos of other youth through email or cell phones • Kids may use a picture of someone else and impose a picture of another kid’s head on the body • Passing on pictures or videos that they receive to others • Taking pictures in a locker room, bathroom, or dressing room and posting on the internet or sending to others via cell phone or email • I.e. the college student from Rutgers who recently died by suicide after his roommates posted intimate videos of him online

29. Direct Attacks cont. • Interactive gaming is a way for youth to use gaming systems, such as Xbox or PlayStation, to communicate by chat or live internet phone while playing their games: • However, sometimes, this provides a forum for others to verbally abuse those they are playing with, using threats or offensive language • Can also lock out the other player • Or hack into their accounts

30. Direct Attacks cont. • Youth can bully others by sending pornographic IM’s or signing up another person for marketing lists, mostly pornographic sites, thereby causing their parents to think they have been looking at those types of sites • Additionally, some youth can send spyware, hacking programs, or viruses to another youth, which can either destroy the victim’s computer or allows the sender to spy on them. • i.e. Trojan horse programs can allow the bully to control the user’s computer and erase the hard drive

31. Direct Attacks cont. • Finally, general impersonation of the victim can be quite damaging: • Posting confrontational comments on a hate group chatroom impersonating the victim, often posting contact information, which can cause the group to attempt to retaliate • Sending hateful or offensive messages, while posing as the victim; messages can be sent to either friends of the victim or others who don’t like the victim or don’t even know the victim • Altering a message that the victim sent, making others think that offensive or revealing things were said or shared with others

32. Cyber Bullying by Proxy • Cyber bullying by proxy is done when a third party or parties get involved in the bullying, usually unwittingly • Can even involve adults who may not realize that they are dealing with a youth, one that they may even know • By proxy is considered to be a very dangerous method of bullying, as sometimes it can endanger the youth by causing harassment or threats by hate groups or child molesters

33. By proxy cont. • Examples of cyber bullying by proxy are: • ISP’s, using “warning wars” • Parents who punish the youth, thinking that the youth did something wrong or is being the bully • Various chat rooms or discussion boards , sometimes involving individuals or groups that could harm the youth • Most often, the bullying youth will pose as the victim and send offensive messages to the friends of the victim, turning them against the victim, unwittingly

34. At fourteen you don’t need sickness or death for tragedy.Jessamyn West

35. Profile of a Bully • Many times, people believe that bullies mask insecurities and low self-esteem with their behavior, however, this is often untrue • They tend to be confident and have a high self-esteem • They tend to have low tolerance for frustration and are typically impulsive • They tend to be physically aggressive with pro-violence attitudes • They show little concern for others’ feelings and the way their actions affect others • They tend to have poorer grades, steal, vandalize, use and abuse substances, fight more frequently, carry weapons, and have negative attitudes towards school* • They may have come from violent homes, in which they either experienced, directly or indirectly, domestic violence* • According to one study, there was a strong correlation between bullying in youth and criminal activity later in life; those described as bullies in 6 – 9 grades had obtained at least one conviction by the age 24 *Not necessarily true in all cases

36. Profiles of Cyber Bullies • In contrast to the typical school yard bully, many cyber bullies actually tend to be the more tech-savvy, intelligent type of individual, more of the “nerdy” type of student, who is probably the victim of offline bullying at school • The types of cyber bullies fall under four main types: • A “vengeful do-gooder” is one who thinks that they are either protecting themselves or a friend and doesn’t realize that they are bullying; also may be retaliating for something done to them or someone close to them • A “power-hungry” cyber bully tends to enjoy having an audience (even though they will probably only tell friends that they think will be sympathetic) and exerting their authority; probably enjoys the idea that they will not have to confront the victim in person • A “mean girls” type of bully usually bullies with a group of people, mostly for entertainment, with the bullying being ego-based; this type of bullying gets fed by others joining in or standing by and allowing it to happen • An “inadvertent bully” is one who either lashes out unintentionally or is role-playing and doesn’t realize that they are being hurtful

37. Characteristics of a Target • Targets of bullying display common traits, falling into two categories, passive victims and provocative victims: • Passive victims tend to be insecure, do not defend themselves, almost never behave aggressively, and are socially isolated • Provocative victims tend to be highly aggressive and provoke the attacks of others; they also are the most socially isolated • All targets tend to be anxious, insecure, have low self-esteem, and often are isolated or lack social skills • Continued bullying can have long-term consequences, such as depression, increased anxiety, decreased feelings of self-worth, increased isolation, and suicidal thoughts • This can follow the target into adulthood

38. Roles of the Bystander • The bystander is a person who does not take an active role in the bullying (not the bully, specifically) but does nothing to assist the target or intervene on the target’s behalf; a passive observer • Bystanders can be the biggest defense against bullying • Bystanders fall into four categories: • The assistants: These bystanders participate actively in the bullying but do not initiate • The reinforcers: This bystander does not actively participate in the bullying but either provides an audience for the situation or makes encouraging gestures, such as laughing • The outsiders: These kids stay away, not taking sides or getting involved but giving their silent approval by not intervening • The defenders: These youth show anti-bullying behavior by comforting the target, trying to remove the target from the situation, and generally trying to stop the incident

39. Signs that Bullying is Occurring • Unfortunately, when a youth is bullied, they will not always tell an adult, these are some symptoms that he/she may display: • Difficulty concentrating in class/easily distracted • Wants to take a different route to school or have different transportation • Sudden lack of interest in school activities or school sponsored events • Sudden drop in grades • Happy on weekends but unhappy, preoccupied, or tense on Sundays • Uses “victim” body language – hunches shoulders, hangs head, won’t make eye contact, back off from others

40. Signs cont. • Suddenly prefers the company of adults • Has frequent illnesses (i.e. psychosomatic: headaches, stomachaches, etc.) or fakes illness • Suffers from fatigue or has nightmare or insomnia • Comes homes with unexplained cuts, bruises, scratches, etc. • Possessions lost, damaged, or destroyed without explanation • Change in eating patterns • Develops stammer or stutter • Frequently asks for extra money (for supposed school expenses) • Has a sudden change in behavior • Talks about running away, dropping out of school, being depressed, or suicide or attempts • Talks about others making fun of him/her, being threatened or physically attacked, not being able to stand up for himself/herself, or being gossiped about or excluded from social groups

41. Prevalence of Bullying • Almost 30%, or over 5.7 million, of all youth in the United States are estimated to be involved in bullying, either as the perpetrator or victim • The U.S. Secret Service recent analyses of 37 school shootings have revealed that the victims had endured ‘“bullying and harassment that was longstanding and severe.’” • 18% of Oklahoma students have been bullied on school property in 12 months prior to the survey (2009 YRBS) • 4% did not go to school on one or more days in the 30 days prior to the survey because they did not feel safe at school or on their way to or from school (2009 YRBS) • 6% had been threatened or injured with a weapon, such as a knife, gun, or club on school property one or more times in the past 12 months (2009 YRBS) • 6% carried a weapon, such as a knife, gun, or club on school property on one or more of the 30 days prior to the survey (2009 YRBS)

42. Prevalence of Cyber Bullying • 18% of students, grades 6-8 said they had been cyber bullied at least once in 12 months; 6 percent said it happened to them 2 or more times (Kowalski et al., 2005) • 11% of students in grades 6-8 said they had cyber bullied another person at least a couple of months, and 2 percent said they had done it 2 or more times (Kowalski et al., 2005) • 19% of regular Internet users between the ages of 10 and 17 reported being involved in aggression, 15% had been aggressors and 7% had been targets (Ybarra & Mitchell, 2004)

43. Prevalence cont. Of students in grades 6-8: • Girls were about twice as likely as boys to be victims and perpetrators of cyber bullying. • Of those students who had been cyber bullied relatively frequently (at least twice in the last couple of months): - 62% said that they had been cyber bullied by another student at school and 46% had been cyber bullied by a friend. - 55% did not know who cyber bullied them. • Of those students who admitted cyber bullying others relatively frequently: - 60% had cyber bullied another student at school and 56% had cyber bullied a friend.

44. School Bullying Prevention Act (2002)70 O.S. § 24 – 100.2 • Effective November 1, 2002, each Oklahoma public school district shall adopt a policy prohibiting harassment, intimidation and bullying by students and shall address prevention of and education about such behavior. • Safe School Committees shall study and make recommendations regarding student harassment, bullying and intimidation and consider professional development needs of faculty and staff to implement methods to decrease harassment. • Safe School Committees shall review methods to encourage the involvement of the community and students, the development of problem-solving teams that include counselors and/or school psychologists and review prevention programs. • The State Department of Education shall compile and distribute a list of research-based programs for prevention of bullying. (See program list at <www.sde.state.ok.us> under Safe and Healthy Schools.)

45. Oklahoma telecommunications lawHouse Bill 1804 (2005)21 O.S. 2005 § 1172 • It is unlawful for a person by means of telecommunication with intent to terrify, harass, intimidate, or threaten to inflict injury or physical harm to any person or property of that person • With intent to put the party in fear of physical harm or death • Identity is not disclosed of the person making the call with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person at the called number • Includes communication initiated by electronic mail, instant message, network call, or facsimile machine or communication made to a pager • Any person convicted shall be guilty of a misdemeanor • Convicted of a second offense is a felony

46. Oklahoma school security actsenate bill 1941 (2008)70 O.S § 24 – 100.3 (3) (4) • Effective November 1, 2008, each school district will add “electronic communication” and “threatening behavior” as part of their bullying prevention policy • Policy will include a procedure to investigate reported acts of harassment and bullying • An additional member will be added to each site’s Safe School Committee who is a school official and part of the investigation team • This law “prohibits threatening behavior, harassment, intimidation, and bullying by students at school and by electronic communication, whether or not such communication originated at school or with school equipment, if the communication is specifically directed at students or school personnel and concerns harassment, intimidation, or bullying at school…”

47. Definitions70 O.S. § 24 – 100.3 • From Senate Bill 1941: • Electronic Communications Defined: • “Means of communication of any written, verbal, or pictorial information by means of an electronic device, including, but not limited to, a telephone, a celeular telephone or other wireless telecommunication device, or a computer.” • Threatening Behavior Defined: • “Any pattern of behavior or isolated action whether or not it is directed at another person, that a reasonable person would believe indicates potential harm to students, school personnel, or school property.”

48. So…When Should Schools Step In? • There is a threat that a rational person would take seriously • Disrupts the normal operation of school • Students use Web sites inappropriately at school • Students encourage others to misuse Web sites at school • There is any negative impact on faculty, staff or students

49. School Policy to Address Bullying • It is state law that schools must address bullying, even if the bullying is not happening on site • It is imperative that schools adopt a systematic approach to resolve bullying, as it has been demonstrated that prevention and cessation require a multitude of individuals, who educate about positive behaviors • It has further been demonstrated that approaches that just target those who bully are less effective than creating a school-wide commitment to the reduction of bullying • The school should draft an anti-bullying policy, which must be distributed to all staff and outline clear and concise measures that illustrate that bullying behaviors will not be tolerated, with any incidences being taken seriously; the policy must be fairly and consistently applied

50. Addressing the Issues • The school can map problematic or high-risk areas and provide more coverage during break times and class changes • It is recommended that schools not only enforce the negative consequences for the students who bully but also teach positive behaviors through modeling, coaching, praise, prompting, and other forms of reinforcing • Schools can also teach positive social behaviors by implementing programs that provide students with social skills training, conflict resolution techniques, anger management, and character education • It is additionally recommended that the schools increase parental involvement within the school and community, as there are positive impacts on youth with greater parental involvement and supervision