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Every Period of Life Has Its Own Challenges. Teenage Years. Mid-Life Years. Golden Years. 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90.

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slide1

Every Period of Life Has Its Own Challenges

Teenage

Years

Mid-Life

Years

Golden

Years

10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90

slide2

"When I had journey half of our life's way, I found myself within a shadowed forest, for I had lost the path that does not stray."

Dante

slide3

Every Period of Life Has Its Own Challenges

Many Men

Mid-Life Crisis

Some Women

Mid-Life

Years

10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90

  • Not a disease – Catch
  • Real Problem
  • Preventable
slide4

“Second Adolescence”

Four Enemies

  • His Body
  • His Work
  • His Wife & Family
  • His God

(Losing his looks, hair, shape)

(Monotony in what was exciting)

(Trapped by his responsibilities)

(Accusing him of selfishness, laziness, & lust)

slide5

What Is Going On In The Mid-Life Period?

Aware of our own mortality

B

I

R

T

H

D

E

A

T

H

=

Time Since birth

Time Left

Transition From Youth to Older Period

“…a time of struggle and a feeling of being struck down by life.” (Daniel Levinson, Myers, 1998)

slide6

What Is Going On In The Mid-Life Period?

Many begin to focus on self

  • Not been able to do
  • Not going to be able to do
  • What wanted – not obtained
  • How they had to “accommodate” Others
    • Please parents
    • Serve the company / boss
    • Give in to the mate
    • Do for the children
    • “Time to do something for me”
slide7

The Challenge of

a Mid-Life Crisis

30’s – 40’s – 50’s

Painful Process of Maturing

slide8

The Challenge of

a Mid-Life Crisis

I. The Challenges of The Mid-Life

slide9

I. The Challenges of The Mid-Life

  • A. Not Handle Changes of Life Well
    • Body Changes (Can’t do what used to do)
    • Children Growing up / Grown
    • Empty Nest
    • Parents growing older / require care / pass
slide10

Result: Looking For Excitement

I. The Challenges of The Mid-Life

  • A. Not Handle Changes of Life Well
  • B. Goals Reached / or Not Reached
    • Not where wanted to be by this time
    • Financially – not there
    • Career not as successful
    • Not have the things hoped to obtain
    • Or – Reached my goals - now what?

Cause: Materially Minded

slide11

I. The Challenges of The Mid-Life

  • A. Not Handle Changes of Life Well
  • B. Goals Reached / or Not Reached
  • C. Busy Lifestyle
    • Career at its peak
    • Overworked
    • Unable to enjoy life – Do what I want
    • More demands on time than ever
    • Many things may be neglected (Spiritual / Family)
slide12

Set

The

Stage

I. The Challenges of The Mid-Life

A. Not Handle Changes of Life Well

B. Goals Reached / or Not Reached

C. Busy Lifestyle

Spiritual Decline / Family Trouble

Extra-Marital Affair (Adultery)

slide13

The Challenge of

a Mid-Life Crisis

I. The Challenges of The Mid-Life

II. Causes of Extra-Marital Affairs

slide14

Prov. 2:17

}

“Who forsakes the companion of her youth, And forgets the covenant of her God. “

Marriage Deteriorates

}

Faith Gets Weaker

II. Causes of Extra-Marital Affairs

slide15

Two Causes At The Root

Faith Gets

Weaker

Little time for spiritual

(Matt. 6:33)

Not study as should

(Acts 17:11)

Not pray as much

(Dan. 6:10)

Happens Gradually

(Heb. 2:1)

  • Material / Worldly has greater attraction
  • Fear the Lord - less
  • Not bothered by sin
  • Easier to do things know to be wrong

Thus

slide16

Two Causes At The Root

Faith Gets

Weaker

Little time for spiritual

(Matt. 6:33)

Not study as should

(Acts 17:11)

Not pray as much

(Dan. 6:10)

Happens Gradually

(Heb. 2:1)

Marriage

Deteriorates

Little time for each other

(Eph. 5:25-28)

Let up on Communication

(1 Pet. 3:1-7)

Emotional Needs Not Met

(Opens door for another)

Happens Gradually

(Heb. 2:1)

slide17

Two Causes At The Root

Marriage

Deteriorates

Little time for each other

(Eph. 5:25-28)

Let up on Communication

(1 Pet. 3:1-7)

Emotional Needs Not Met

(Opens door for another)

Happens Gradually

(Heb. 2:1)

  • Commitment to mate – means less
  • Focus on self – not mate
  • At great risk when opp. sex shows you attention
  • Not bothered by flirting…

Thus

slide18

! ! ! Danger ! ! !

“It Will Never Happen to Me!”

1 Cor 10:12

“Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.”

“It became clear to me early in my counseling experience that affairs were much more common that I had every imagined. But now, after years of marriage counseling, I have come to realize that almost everyone, given the right conditions, would have an affair.”

- Dr. William F. Harley, Jr. Surviving An Affair, 16

slide19

Adultery!

Show him attention

Builds his ego

Flirts with him

Faith Gets

Weaker

Marriage

Deteriorates

&

Having A Mid-Life Crisis

(Hard time with transition)

slide20

The Challenge of

a Mid-Life Crisis

I. The Challenges of The Mid-Life

II. Causes of Extra-Marital Affairs

III. Answers / Do To Prevent Problems

slide21

III. Answers / Do To Prevent Problems

  • A. Work Daily Building Your Faith
    • Study (Rom. 10:17)
    • Pray (1 Thess. 5:17)
slide22

III. Answers / Do To Prevent Problems

  • A. Work Daily Building Your Faith
  • B. Not Neglect Your Marriage
    • Cleave (glued) to mate (Matt. 19:4-6)
    • Take time for each other (Eph. 5:16)
    • Share your lives / Communicate (1 Pet. 3:7)

“ When you stop to think about it, privacy isn’t something that improves marriages. It’s honesty and openness that improve marriages. The more information you have about each other’s thoughts and activities, the easier it is to meet each other’s needs and resolve conflicts. Privacy actually blocks access to that important information, and that ultimately lead to marital failure”

- Dr. William F. Harley, Jr. Surviving An Affair, 41

slide23

III. Answers / Do To Prevent Problems

  • A. Work Daily Building Your Faith
  • B. Not Neglect Your Marriage
  • C. Reset Goals To Emphasize The Spiritual
    • Purpose is to serve God (Ecc. 12:13)
    • Spiritual matters first (Matt. 6:33)
    • Wrong goals – destroy (Matt. 19:16-22)
slide24

III. Answers / Do To Prevent Problems

  • A. Work Daily Building Your Faith
  • B. Not Neglect Your Marriage
  • C. Reset Goals To Emphasize The Spiritual
  • D. Learn to Accept Changes In Life
    • Aging is part of life (Ecc. 12:1-6)
    • Children growing will happen (Ecc. 1:4)
slide25

Ex-GP Dr Hugh Bethell believes that there’s no such thing. “A mid-life crisis is really just what happens to people because of life events. Life starts to change, your kids grow up and leave home, you’re getting bored of work and think you should retire, and it all happens when you’re between 40 and 65.” Peter Baker, Director of the Men’s Health Forum, is in agreement with Dr Bethell. He says, “I think you could argue that there are problems that men face in middle age. I don’t know if you’d want to call it a mid-life crisis, but middle-age is a time of adjustment for men. “A lot of the issues are psychological rather than issues that need medical treatment,” he says. “I think we’re in danger of medicalising middle age for men and saying that, whatever problems they face, it’s all down to one cause: low testosterone. We’re giving men drugs in the hope that they will treat the condition when in fact it’s all part of the process of getting older.”

http://www.healthypages.net/feature.asp?newsid=3609

slide26

III. Answers / Do To Prevent Problems

  • A. Work Daily Building Your Faith
  • B. Not Neglect Your Marriage
  • C. Reset Goals To Emphasize The Spiritual
  • D. Learn to Accept Changes In Life
  • E. Watch For Pitfalls – Lead to Adultery
    • Don’t lust / fantasize (Prov. 6:25)
    • Use tools to ensnare you (Prov. 7:10)
    • Watch for flirting (Prov. 6:24-25; 7:21)
    • A Seducer will lie (Prov. 7:15)
    • Don’t play with fire (Prov. 5:8)
    • Opportunity / occasion will come (Prov. 7:19-20)
slide27

The Challenge of

a Mid-Life Crisis

I. The Challenges of The Mid-Life

II. Causes of Extra-Marital Affairs

III. Answers / Do To Prevent Problems