PARENTING TO EMPOWER

1. PARENTING TO EMPOWER • Gen. 1: 28, 29.

2. INTRODUCTION • From the creation of man, God charged parents to be fruitful and multiply. • Parenting has to do with father and mother joining hands/forces together to bring up the children. This is the original will of God.

3. Parenting is a noble job God has assigned to mankind. To mold and nurture delicate little lives is one of the noblest jobs on earth. Parents are charged with this responsibility. Many who are called to perform the duty criminally neglect it.

4. Paul Faulkner said that, ‘If things go well with the family, life is worth living; when the family falters, life falls apart.’ Take it or leave it, the family is the core of the society. So, when it is well with a family, the society is better for it. Single parenting is a regrettable accident that results from death of one of the parents, divorce or pre or extra-marital sexual relationship.

5. THERE IS POWER IN PARENTING • ‘The hand that rocks the cradle,’ they say, ‘rules the world.’ • The family is the cradle of education in hygiene/health, acquisition of basic skills and character formation among others. • Parents are the drivers. Parents who fail in this function have lost virtually everything.

6. Psychologists agree that the quality of parental relationships with a child in the very early years contributes greatly to his character development, emotional stability and to a reasonable extent, choice of relationship with God.

7. On the other hand, non-organic emotional illnesses in people have their origin directly or in-directly from lack of this role in a parent or both through care-free attitude, death, separation, or time-demanding job in the early years of development. Solomon sums it up in his counsel, ‘Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.’ Prov. 22:6.

8. PARENTS ARE THE FIRST MODELS A CHILD VIEWS IN LIFE. • Someone described little children as video cameras on legs. Some of the common evil or misconduct parents commit, mean more to a child than the commandments dished out to them and wrapped up in oratory. • They practice what they see us do later in life more than what they hear us say, especially where there is a contradiction.

9. One day a parent was scolding his child for misconduct, the child retorted, ‘you are punishing me for doing what you used to do.’ The man became weak. Another was the case of a child who picked up a cigarette stub discarded by the father in spite of previous warning from his father not to smoke in life.

10. TIMOTHY LIVED WHAT HE SAW • Timothy was a product of well conducted mother and grandmother as captured by Paul in 2Tim. 1:5, ‘when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also.’

11. Furthermore in 2Timothy 3:15 Paul also wrote, ‘And that from the time when you were a child, you have had knowledge of the holy Writings, which are able to make you wise to salvation, through faith in Christ Jesus.’ (BBE). Timothy was closely marked with the way of the Lord very early in life by concerned and committed parents. The effort yielded the desired result. It was very likely that these parents were proud of their ward, Timothy.

12. SAMUEL DID SAME TOO Samuel was said to have grown up in the presence of the Lord 1Sam. 2: 21, having been brought up by parents who observed the rules as practiced in their religion.

13. 1Samuel 1:1-7 has the clip: ‘Now there was a certain man of RamathaimZophim, of the mountains of Ephraim, and his name was Elkanah … And he had two wives: the name of one was Hannah, and the name of the other Peninnah… This man went up from his city yearly to worship and sacrifice to the LORD of hosts in Shiloh… And whenever the time came for Elkanah to make an offering, he would give portions to Peninnah his wife and to all her sons and daughters.

14. But to Hannah he would give a double portion, for he loved Hannah, although the LORD had closed her womb...So it was, year by year, when she went up to the house of the LORD, that she provoked her; therefore she wept and did not eat.’ It can be seen clearly that both parents were committed to their faith hence Samuel naturally followed suit.

15. TEAMWORK A VERY ESSENTIAL AND EFFECTIVE TOOL • The wise man Solomon saw it in wisdom long ago and penned it down for our use in Ecclesiastes 4:9 – 12 that ‘Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.

16. ‘Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.’ This is very true in every joint effort. It is even stronger in teaming up of parents in child rearing. Many couples deny themselves of this joy by erecting uncalled for partitions.

17. Oftentimes some mothers or fathers paint pictures that they love the children more. Such may think that when they succeed in edging the other out, they will have a lion share of the proceeds. So, they create America and Russia interface or crossing in the home. Teamwork has no substitute. It portrays a great marriage which makes children proud of their parents and submissive to them instead of partial loyalty.

18. PARENTAL TEAMWORK DOES NOT DROP FROM HEAVEN • In order to build the togetherness between couples, they must regularly create time to discuss and plan together outside the coming together for romance. • Many couples don’t talk except ‘give me money’ or ‘your food is ready’, for the wife. As for the man, he will speak to the wife only when he wants to sleep with her. This is not healthy.

19. Amos said long before now that ‘Two cannot work together except they agree.’ Amos 3: 3. There is no better place to apply it than in marriage and parenting.

20. Sensitivity • God made men and women different so as to complement and complete each other. • It is certain that in the house, dad wants to represent providence, protection, wisdom, strength and mechanics of life. • Mum is the conveyor of emotions and warmth and to some extent religion.

21. Mums are usually more sensitive to happenings in the home and outside. Dads are more focused though narrowly, and more analytical.

22. Communication • Mums are better communicators than dads. While most dads are precise in narratives, mums want to include: whether giving or receiving, every detail of an event. • She is usually the link connecting members of her household with one another.

23. Emotion of Love • Mothers are more openly expressive in love matters. “Monkey no fine but the mama like am.” The curdling, kissing, hugging, dressing, ever presence, crying together or lending her shoulder for you to lean on and cry, cheering, comfort giving, trusting, multi-tasking strength, intercession, humor generation, and such like gestures are more commonly expressed by mums.

24. A one time world champion was asked what he was thinking at the point he was to take his turn in the event. In his replied, he told himself that whether he won or lost, his mum would still love him. Some or all of these expressions of mothers can be and are used negatively against fathers.

25. Dads do have all of such feelings but some expressions are judged unmanly. So they keep aloof and pass same to the boy child. Also the presence of a father helps to define for the girl child her feminine role. The children need both of the two worlds merged in one to attain stability of the mind and intellect.

26. WHAT ABOUT THE SINGLE PARENT? • Child rearing for two parents working together is tough. • It is more so for a single parent left alone to do everything. • The rest of us need to reach out to them to lend a helping hand cautiously.

27. I suggest that the elderly of the opposite gender, who is married, should get closer to fill in a bit of the void of the father or mother role, so as not to let the devil take advantage of us and our good is evil spoken of. Romans 14: 16.

28. STRIKING A RAPPORT • Good rapport between mum and dad takes time to achieve, coming from two different backgrounds. • However, it is achievable with serious commitment to the marriage by each stakeholder. • Regular talking sessions help to smooth out differences in communication style.

29. Always remember that you are no more two but one. In Matthew 19:5, 6 it is said, 'For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall join to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh? So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don't let man tear apart.’

30. In agreement with this injunction, a writer posited that the oneness should be in heart, thought, direction, aims and purpose. When this is achieved, it becomes easy to face the parenting challenges as one.

31. CONCLUSION • There is power in parenting. • Make effective use of it for the well-being of the children and the society.

32. Let us declare like David thus: ‘Opening my mouth I will give out a story, even the dark sayings of old times; Which have come to our hearing and our knowledge, as they were given to us by our fathers. We will not keep them secret from our children; we will make clear to the coming generation the praises of the Lord and his strength, and the great works of wonder which he has done.

33. ‘So that the generation to come might have knowledge of them, even the children of the future, who would give word of them to their children; So that they might put their hope in God, and not let God's works go out of their minds, but keep his laws.’

34. This is achievable through parental team work. Every couple should desire to participate in this great assignment. If you are not quickly blessed with children, try and adopt.

35. THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOUR PARENTING EFFORTS SO THAT YOU CAN REAP SWEET HARVEST OF WHAT YOU SOW IN YOUR CHILDREN IN JESUS NAME. AMEN.

36. PRESENTED BY EVANG. OJI O. OJI CHURCH OF CHRIST, 6A PEPPLE STREET, IKEJA, LAGOS. SUNDAY, JANUARY 15, 2012