Coaching, Mentoring and Communication Helen Chambers

1. Coaching, Mentoring and CommunicationHelen Chambers HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk Want to mix practical and theory Make no apology for going back to basics You may think you are not coaching and mentoring but you should be!Want to mix practical and theory Make no apology for going back to basics You may think you are not coaching and mentoring but you should be!

2. ILM definitions:Coaching is the art of facilitating the development, learning and enhanced performance of another person. Essentially a coach’s aim is to help people to improve themselves in whatever they want to improve in.Mentoring is a dynamic, reciprocal, personal relationship in which a more experienced person (mentor) acts as a guide, role model, teacher and sponsor of a less experienced person. HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk Interchangeable in many ways Public sector Mentee, protegee, coachee, learner????Interchangeable in many ways Public sector Mentee, protegee, coachee, learner????

3. HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk

4. HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk NOT GOOD, NOT BAD, JUST DIFFERENT!Challenge TFGs Emotional triggers Perception is reality Communication barriers “Seek first to understand, then be understood” Personality types Scale of trust when first meet Trust bucket Can we get it back How do we build it – you must be trusted as a mentor/coach or manager What is Honesty – how do we know someone is honest?? Values – fire in the house, what about other values such as loyalty, humour? Scale of trust when first meet Trust bucket Can we get it back How do we build it – you must be trusted as a mentor/coach or manager What is Honesty – how do we know someone is honest?? Values – fire in the house, what about other values such as loyalty, humour?

5. HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk How do you like to live your life? Which lifestyle do you prefer?

6. THE PROCESSAgree boundaries and contractual agreementsUndertake mentoringNote takingRecords of meetingsAction plans HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk Change management Problem solving – explore definitions of problems and stages in solvingChange management Problem solving – explore definitions of problems and stages in solving

7. 7 Is it just me?Two way communication

8. HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk Believing a message and trusting the sender depends 7% on the Verbal = Words 38% on the Voice = Tone 55% on the Visual = Body Language

9. 9 Listening Levels

10. HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk  This conference is a CPD activity – it is a learning opportunity for you. Only you can decide whether you want to learn from it and whether you can use that learning and whether you can apply that learning. So let’s give you an opportunity to do some learning shall we? I don’t know what you all need, don’t know the level, so am going to look at something that is applicable to us all regardless of position, level, experience, professional – communication! Listening quiz Questioning – what’s in my pocket – ask people at random or to shout out? Observing – How many F’s – pass round the papers – is there an assistant who can help? Body language – nvc – handshakes, active listening, neck touching, clinton/blair/george w Elephant’s ChildI keep six honest serving-menThey taught me all I knew;Their names areWhat and why and whenAnd how and where and whoThis conference is a CPD activity – it is a learning opportunity for you. Only you can decide whether you want to learn from it and whether you can use that learning and whether you can apply that learning. So let’s give you an opportunity to do some learning shall we? I don’t know what you all need, don’t know the level, so am going to look at something that is applicable to us all regardless of position, level, experience, professional – communication! Listening quiz Questioning – what’s in my pocket – ask people at random or to shout out? Observing – How many F’s – pass round the papers – is there an assistant who can help? Body language – nvc – handshakes, active listening, neck touching, clinton/blair/george w Elephant’s ChildI keep six honest serving-menThey taught me all I knew;Their names areWhat and why and whenAnd how and where and who

11. HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk Verbal Encouraging words Clarifying Paraphrasing Summarising Reflecting emotion Encouraging questions Voice matching

12. HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk Open-ended Invite exploration Encourage participation & involvement Require an expansive response Provide information “I kept six honest serving men, they taught me all I knew.Their names are What and Why and When and How and Where and Who” Rudyard Kipling

13. HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk Invite a yes or no, or brief response, or a choice Useful for getting confirmation, agreements and decisions Include words such as Will Should Did Would Can Which Are Is

14. FEATURE FILMS ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk

15. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aodccrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dnsoe't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the hmuan mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azmanig huh? HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk

16. ‘When dealing with people, remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices, and motivated by pride and vanity’ Dale Carnegie ‘There are no problems that we cannot solve together and very few that we can solve by ourselves’ Lyndon B Johnson HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk

17. HJC Associates | Tel: 01162692040 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk The purpose of this exercise is : To practice empathy, active listening, problem solving To get some practice in giving constructive feedback To give you the opportunity to gain some constructive feedback To give you an opportunity to practice what we have covered today in a fairly safe environment to embed some of the key points. In threes, one will act as mentor, and one will act as observer, and one will present a real issue for discussion. You will have 20 minutes to discuss the issue, and then 5 minutes for the observer to give feedback.You will then swop roles so all play each.