There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to parenting, but it’s safe to say that most of the decisions we make as adults on behalf of our kids, are for their intended benefit and wellbeing. Some parents may choose to take a vacation with their kids because they feel it will enrich theirlives, while others prefer to make it an adults’ only time so that they can connect on a grown-up level with their partner or loved one. Neither one is wrong; some parents may feel proud of the fact that their children go everywhere with them, others may feel guilty at the thought of leaving them behind, while some may relish time away from their kids on a temporary basis. Let’s take a closer look at some of the reasons behind parents’ choices to vacation with or without their kids:
We have too many children! Some families contain a lot of young children, and parents may not be able to depend on other family members or babysitters being able to take care of their entire brood while they take a vacation alone. Under these circumstances, it might be worth considering the logistics of taking a weekend break away closer to home, instead of a full 2 weeks long vacation. My child goes everywhere with me: Some parents feel that their child, or children, should go everywhere with them - including on vacation - and for a whole host of reasons.
They refuse to see it as stressful and instead focus on how a vacation or day trip will enrich the life of their child in many ways. Of course, some parents enjoy spending all their time with their kids, and don’t feel as if they need a break from them! Families may be encouraged to bond and grow closer: Away from the stresses and strains of daily life and hectic schedules, parents can unwind and enjoy time away from home with their children. The kids will enjoy seeing a different, light hearted attitude from their parents, and together, they can relax and feel free to share theiremotions and aspirations in different surroundings.
Recent studies have shown that many adults grow up remembering their family vacations more clearly than events at school and even birthdays, and in a similar survey conducted with children, more than half of those questioned stated that family vacations had brought them closer together. Our relationship needs time without the kids! While the love for their children is unquestionable, some couples feel that their relationship is enhanced by time away from their kids, and that the sense of romance is more alive for them than for couples who never vacation alone.
Children can gain confidence when they don’t vacation with their parents: One belief is that children should learn to enjoy doing things without their parents, especially in preparation for school trips or other occasions when they may not be with their parents all the time. For them to feel safe and content without their parents present, is important too, and may encourage them to grow up as more independent young adults with more life skills.
What do the experts say? Child psychologists and family relationship experts say that being a good parent is not at all dependent upon whether you take adult only trips as parents, or whether your kids go everywhere with you. The primary focus should be upon ensuring that your children are happy and loved, while your adult relationship gets the energy and attention it needs and deserves. Achieving this will be different for every family, and instead of having the focus be upon vacationing, instead focus upon being a good partner and parent in your daily life; listening to your kids and your partner, giving compliments when they are due and encouraging one another.
While some parents may well feel guilty about vacationing without their kids, for others it will be perfectly normal and healthy to spend time away from them; simply put, there are no rights and wrongs, and nobody knows you and your family better than you do, so listen to your heart and do whatever you feel to be right for your family when getting ready for a vacation.
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