The Only Girl on the Team A Somewhat True Story By Taylor Giarrizzo
As a commuter, you know it can be pretty hard to get involved on campus. But Paul, a nice short kid, offered you a spot on a intramural co-ed flag football team that he plays for. Do you accept the invitation? YES or NO That’s Paul
So you decide maybe next year you’ll join. And you don’t end up getting involved in any other things at school either. So you graduate on the Dean’s List but with zero friends. Maybe next time you should have a little fun.
You think, hey. What the heck. So you drive all the way to Fisher from Greece, walk out the turf field where Paul said to meet him and you realize there are no girls in sight. These guys look serious. So do you suck it up and try to find Paul or forget it and get the heck out of there? That’s Devan
This looks way too scary for you and you don’t even see Paul yet. You walk back to your car and drive home. The next day, Paul finds you ask asks if you wanted to play the next week and you accept. When you get there, it’s the same situation: no girls. So do you suck it up and try to find Paul or forget it and get the heck out of there? That’s Dan
You leave again and get into a tragic car accident. You should have stayed. That’s Tony
Lets go for it! I mean come on they can’t be that bad. You slowly walk out to the field and find Paul standing with some other guys. You meet Bryan, Tim, Pete, Devan, Jonah, Nick, Tony, Dan, Eric, and Mike. All pretty nice guys. But the referee just blew the whistle to start the game and the guys want you to jump right in! Do you go for it or wait a while longer? That’s Tim
You say, “Hell yeah I’m ready!” and smack Pete’s butt. Pete took that the wrong way. He got your phone number from Bryan and won’t stop texting you. And he has a girlfriend. What a creeper. Now all the guys think you’re weird, too. Way to go. • <-- That’s Bryan • And • That’s Pete
You’re not that stupid. You let them know that you’ll play, you just want to get your bearings first. So the team really isn’t doing too well and it seems like they don’t really care. Nick wants you to get in there! Do you finally go in or say maybe next game? That’s Nick
He says, forget it, you’re off the team. He figured you’d play like a girl anyways. So you go home crying like a little girl and continue throughout college without making any friends. That’s Mike
Ok, even though you’re scared, you jog out onto the field. Jonah is the quarter back and he wants YOU to be his center (hike the ball to him). That seems pretty easy… Do you play center or just chill on the side of the field where it’s safe? That’s Jonah
You don’t want such a big part in the team yet, so you say no thanks. Well that was a mistake, Jonah decides to pass to you and some big guy intercepts it! You feel like an idiot and have someone sub in for you. The bench looks good for the rest of the game. That’s Eric
Hiking the ball can’t be that hard! You go over to the ball and wait for Jonah to let you know when to throw it to him. He gives the signal and you toss it. But this man that is seriously at least 300 pounds starts charging at your QB! Do you try to get in his way or run screaming the other way?
There is no way you’re stepping in front of that! But poor Jonah, he didn’t quite make the throw off. He was tackled and is still in the hospital. He turned you away when you went to visit him.
Without even thinking, you step in front of the big scary man you later find out is called “Bear Ass” and he plows into you! But it did stop him and Jonah got the pass off for a touch down! And your knee, well, it’ll heal. Bear Ass helps you up and tells you that you’ve got some balls for stepping in front of him and your team is so impressed that you are a starter in the other games. It felt good to kick some butt!