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Gru and His Mom. Building a Child’s Self-Concept. Building yours, too. . 1. How can a child “stand up from the inside”?. Self -Concept = The total picture of who we are. Our looks and traits, how we feel, what we think, who we see when we look in the mirror…

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1 how can a child stand up from the inside
1. How can a child “stand up from the inside”?
  • Self-Concept = The total picture of who we are.
    • Our looks and traits, how we feel, what we think, who we see when we look in the mirror…
      • A child’s self-concept is in place by age 5.
2 self concept
2. Self-Concept
  • Get along better with others
  • Self-Confident
  • Risk-Taker/Willing to try new things
  • Self-Reliant
  • Goal Setter
  • Often a show off in front of other children
  • Put others down
  • Critical of self and others
  • Bully (to make the look and feel stronger)
  • Withdrawn
  • Insecure

Positive Self-Concept

Negative Self-Concept

children are born with 100 self concept
Children are born with 100% Self-Concept
  • Think about it. This important for them to have!
  • Do you still have the 100% you were born with?
    • Imagine what you could do if you did!

*Balloon - blown up!

The person I think I am.
  • The person others think I am.
  • The person others think I think I am.

As I See Myself

Other’s Reactions To Me

My Actions

As Others See Me

3. Self Concept Circle

Child Self-Concept vs. Your Self-Concept
  • *High and Low Self-concept
  • b. Verbal and Non-verbal Communication
    • Communication We hear, say, or See.
      • We believe it and may even become it.
      • 4 positive words for every negative word or action can alter the affects of the negative.
c. Positive and Negative
  • Interactions
  • Why do we continue to hang
  • around with or do that which
  • brings us or other’s down?
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
  • A Child Becomes what the Person sees or thinks the child is!
    • Children remember 3% of what we say to them and 97% of what we do with them.
      • Our Perception becomes our reality
    • I won’t see it until I believe it.
5 keys to developing a child s self concept
5. Keys to Developing a Child’s Self-Concept


What does it mean to you / to a kid?

*Write down a way you think you can build a child’s self-concept

“I got two A’s”, the small boy said, his voice was filled with glee.

His father bluntly asked, “Why didn’t you get three?”

“Mom, I’ve got the dishes done,” the girl called from the door.

Her mother very calmly said, “Did you sweep the floor?”

“I mowed the grass,” the tall boy said, “and put the mower away.”

His father asked him with a shrug, "Did you clean off the clay?”

The children in the house next door seemed happy and content.

The same things happened over there, but this is how it went.

“I’ve got two A’s,” the small boy said. His voice was filled with glee.

His father proudly said, "That's great, I’m glad that you belong to me.”

“Mom, I’ve got the dishes done,” the girl called from the door.

Her mother smiled and softly said, “Each day I love you more.”

“I’ve mowed the grass,” the tall boy said, “and put the mower away.”

His father answered with much joy, “You’ve made my happy day.”

Children deserve a little praise for tasks they’re asked to do. If they’re to lead a happy life, so much depends on you.

Study guide scenarios

Plan successes
  • Point out successes
  • Help the child perceive him/herself as successful
  • Provide practice to improve skills
  • If they have more failures than successes, back up to where success is achieved, and then move ahead gradually
  • As long as there are more successes than failures, children learn to not let a few failures get them down.
  • A child who is over-protected and not allowed to fail will learn to try only if success is guaranteed.

Provide more successes than failures for the child.

Give the freedom to fail with acceptance.

Recognize the effort and improvement, not just the final accomplishment.
  • Support as they do new things.
    • “I know you can do it”
    • “You handled that really well”
    • “You will make it next time”
  • Show appreciation.
    • “Thanks, you were a big help”
  • Let child know that even if you do not approve of their behavior, you still love them.
  • Accept children as they are, not as they could be.
  • Respect your child.
  • Show them how much you care about them.

Give lots of encouragement.

Give unconditional love.

Let them do things for themselves.
  • Let them work through a problem.
  • Give them choices as early as possible.
  • Tell children what they can do, not what they cannot do.
  • Catch them doing something good more often than what they are doing wrong.

Allow independence.

Eliminate the negative.

They don’t have to be 100% all the time.
  • Know their abilities and work within those abilities.
  • Children are not miniature adults.
  • Do not over-estimate their maturity.
    • Development if child
  • Be careful of nicknames.
  • Do not make fun of them, especially in front of others.

Do not set standards unreasonably high.

Avoid ridicule.

Let them explore their environment.
  • Give them a chance to see cause and effect, such as what happens when a rock is dropped in water. . .
  • Play, get messy, touch
  • Set limits (boundaries and rules)
    • It helps them to feel security, protected, valued, and loved.

Allow exploration and encourage questions.

Set limits.

Every child needs to feel that they are good at something.
    • Give them encouragement and opportunities to try new things.
  • Encourage their talents, not the ones you wish they had.
  • Do not belittle them
    • “That is nothing to cry over”, or “You’ll get over it”.
  • Ask them for their advice and opinions.
    • Listen to them and act on their thoughts.

Help your child develop their talents.

Take their ideas, emotions and feelings seriously.

Improve your own self-image. Let your children see that you value yourself.
  • Let your children see you make mistakes, learn from them, and try again.
  • Give them chores that are appropriate for their age.
  • Give them family jobs so that they feel valued and important to the family.

Be a good role model.

Give your children responsibility.

Give them support when they need it.
  • Spend time together.
    • Work, talk, and share activities together.
  • Point out when they are meeting your expectations and requests.

Be available.

Let children know when their behavior is appropriate

dapla pick 1
DAPLA – Pick 1
  • Have each child draw a tree trunk with branches on the white paper. Have each child cut out leaves from the construction paper. On the leaves have each child write something they like about themselves. Glue the leaves to the tree. Have the children color the paper. (10 leaves)
  • Create a self-collage using pictures, words, or symbols clipped from magazines that represent things they enjoy doing or own, places they've been, people they admire, or careers they desire. Glue onto paper that has your head silhouette drawn.

(10 pics)



reflection 5
Reflection #5
  • What ice cream flavor describes your self-concept – explain?
a haiku poem about you on back of 3x5 card
A Haiku Poem about youon back of 3x5 Card
  • __________________________________________
  • Your Name
  • _________________________________________________
  • 2 adjectives describing you
  • ___________________________________________________
  • 3 Verbs that relate to you
  • ___________________________________________________
  • A 4 word phrase about you
  • _________________________________________________
  • 1 word that explains who you are

Sharing time!

Haiku Poem on back of your name

2. Name Card – represents you!

3. High and Low self-concept eyes, posture, words, actions, treat others, successes

4. Keys to Building a child’s self-concept

around the room

5. Kid Scenarios


Your Name


2 adjectives describing you


3 Verbs that relate to you


A 4 word phrase about you


1 word that explains who you are.

  • Celebrate the AWESOME name on that 3x5 card
  • Draw a picture that represents you!