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ELABORATION: MAGNIFYING DETAILS

ELABORATION: MAGNIFYING DETAILS. START WITH A STORY PLAN SUMMARY THE STORY IS ABOUT_______________ CHARACTER & SETTING THE PROBLEM/ADVENTURE WAS THAT __________________________________ MAIN EVENT/CONFLICT

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ELABORATION: MAGNIFYING DETAILS

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  1. ELABORATION: MAGNIFYING DETAILS

  2. START WITH A STORY PLAN SUMMARY THE STORY IS ABOUT_______________ CHARACTER & SETTING THE PROBLEM/ADVENTURE WAS THAT __________________________________ MAIN EVENT/CONFLICT THE PROBLEM WAS SOLVED/ADVENTURE CONCLUDED WHEN _________________ CONFLICT RESOLUTION

  3. FOCUS ON CRITICAL ELEMENTS • CHARACTER • SETTING • OBJECTS that are relevant to the character/ setting/ conflict/ • resolution

  4. CHARACTER EXAMPLES • His six-year-old hands were littered with cracks and crevices that had filled with dingy stains of blood mixed with grime. They told a story that only someone much older could have actually known and lived. They said his life had been painful, fraught with challenges that had left him with scars-- the kind you can see easily and the kind that hide beneath the surface. #1

  5. #2 Cradling the baby’s head as if it was a fragile egg, Maude trembled at her own thoughts. Like a furnace, the tiny body in her arms emanated a heat that awkwardly kept Maude warmer than she had been all winter. As her mind tormented itself, Maude began to envision all the possibilities: healing, suffering, death? Then cruel hope gave her one more picture: life.

  6. SETTING EXAMPLES #1 • Chugging along with a rhythm all its own, the metal snake wound its way around the hills, a constant forward in a world that seemed so backward to Jack. His assigned seat was worn and tattered, and a dark black stain streaked the arm rest, one more scar that echoed the pain of the day. The yellowed foam cushion peeked out from behind the velvet covering, revealing the seat’s shabby construction. Like Jack, the seat held much inside that was bursting to get out.

  7. #2 Old wooden boards creaked as Molly quietly tip-toed up the ladder. The aroma of fresh hay had left the barn months ago, and now only an oppressive manure cloud filled the unusually blistering spring air. Two sheep mingled below with the lone dairy cow who’d survived the winter. They looked like a disjointed family, each trying to find its place among the others.

  8. OBJECT EXAMPLES #1 • The warmth of the fire was a welcomed guest. Yellow, red, and orange lights danced together like a company of ballerinas performing a finale. One would lash high above the others, only to be devoured back down while the next rose in victory. As the wind whipped around the corner from time-to-time, the flames accommodated their old friend, bending but not breaking to his requests.

  9. #2 Two milk-white pillow pieces of bread wrapped themselves around a thin slab of bologna slathered in what looked like yellow paint. Drops of it oozed from the sides and stained the wilted green leaf that peaked out to catch a glimpse of Billy’s face. A glancing waft of pickle vinegar stole its moments from the stale air that Billy breathed as he raised the sandwich to his mouth and hesitated. This would be the first bite of real food that he’d had in weeks.

  10. ELABORATIVE DETAIL • Focus on critical characters, objects, or setting • Bespecific, not general • Ask questions to help you find details that need to be elaborated/explained • Think about five senses • Don’t forget to describe feelings or emotions (hint: use similes or metaphors to SHOW what the feelings look like) • REMEMBER… elaboration means that you STOP the action and provide critical observation • SHOW don’t tell

  11. FLIP THE SENTENCE Don’t start sentences with things like… It was… (a long, narrow alley). She had… (dark, curly hair). There were… (several empty chairs lining the wall). Instead, FLIP the sentence and start with what comes after your boring verbs The long, narrow alley stretched out in front of Sam like… Her dark curls cascaded down her back like… Several empty chairs lined the wall, soldiers awaiting their duty.

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