Concerns of Children & Families

1. Concerns of Children & Families Chapter 24

2. Family life is complex • Stressful events occur that cause tensions and problems • Children need to grow up in a strong family

3. Parents must balance family and work issues • Single and teen parents face additional challenges

4. Child abuse and neglect cause serious emotional and psychological problems • Relationships children have with family members play an important role in their development

5. Sibling Relationships • Average American family has 2 children • Most children interact with one brother or sister

6. Sibling Interactions • Siblings influence each other’s lives in many ways • Play the roles of playmates, teachers, learners, protectors and rivals

7. Playmates • Built in playmates • Learn to set goals and cooperate

8. Teachers & Learners • Older children often act like teachers • Younger siblings are eager learners • Older sibling also model social skills • Sibling learn gender roles faster than firstborn and only children

9. Rivals • 2 or more children in a family compete both physically and verbally • Younger children and boys fight physical battles more than older children and girls • Younger children plead, whine, and sulk • Children compete for love and attention of parents and friends

10. Sibling Rivalry • May be jealous of sibling • Adults cannot prevent rivalry but can lessen it • Each child need positive feedback • Comparing children compounds the situation

11. Space • Each child needs space for their belongings • High shelves keep toddlers away from older children’s things • Children should share but not in all cases

12. Fights • Ignore fights unless children are in physical danger or property may be damaged • If adults settle each dispute, children may feel rewarded with adults’ attention • Stop fight without adding threat

13. Family Togetherness • Parents should stress importance of family togetherness and support • Families should take part in activities everyone enjoys • Children take pleasure in each others good fortune

14. Parents explain family members love one another even though they argue

15. Birth Order & Development • Affects their social roles and personalities • Facts about birth order cannot be applied to all children • Personality traits depend on gender, number of older and younger siblings, attitudes or parents, and family cultures • Large age gaps between sibling reduce the effects of birth order

16. Only Children • 10% are only children • Figure has doubled since 1950’s • 1) more women in the workforce • 2) delayed childbearing • Myths about only children: • Lonely, spoiled, selfish, less bright etc • Actually high IQ’s and feel less threatened

17. Firstborn Children • Have similar traits as only child • Often teach younger sibling • Mentally creative • “experimental” children because they are the first • Punished more severely and rewarded more liberally

18. Middle Children • Second child in a family to 3 siblings • Don’t fit large families • Lower IQ, if children are closer than 3 years • Adults tend to spend less time • Adjust easily to new situations • May feel caught in the middle

19. Youngest Children • Do better socially and mentally • IQ’s generally lower • Relaxed and cheerful • Used to receiving attention and care from older siblings • Treated more like a baby • More dependent and less mature

20. A Child’s Identity • Adults need to treat each child fairly • No favoritism, not to forget to praise all children • Promote children’s best trait

21. Children of Multiple Births • Parents meet more sets of needs at once • Extra cost • Children spend a lot of time together and share a real closeness • May have problem with separate identities (feelings of being distinct people rather than a unit)

22. Foster separate identities • Preserve siblings’ special bond • Allow children to choose how much alike or different they wish to be

23. Parental Employment • 92% of all families with children have one or both parents employed • Need or want 2 incomes • Single parents forced to work to support children

24. Not all work outside of the home • Have a business from their home • Home-based –computers, cell phones, modems, video teleconferencing, faxes • Parents set time aside to work and to take care of children

25. Effects on Children • Research shows babies have fewer adjustment problems if mothers return to • work before they are 3 months old or after age 2 years • Awkward time to enter workforce is when children are 11 to 13 years of age

26. Studies show today’s children receive as much attention from their working parents as yesterday’s children from full time mothers • Working parents use conveniences

27. Working Parents Children • Miss fewer days of school • Usually enjoy meaningful and well planned free time with parents • Help with chores • Learn home care skills • More structured home

28. Effects on Parents • Finding a balance between work and family is difficult • Parents may feel guilt for working • When parents are happy there children tend to be also

29. Balancing Family & Work • Plan carefully to lessen stress • Need to budget time carefully • Let minor tasks slide • Plan ahead in case a child or childcare provider is ill • Meet and talk with teachers • Set limits for children

30. Children usually express feelings during early evening hours • Everyone is hungry and tired • Try to relax a few minutes and then deal with the day’s events

31. Children in Self-Care • Latchkey kids – WWII, wore keys around their necks and wait for parents to come home • Children in self-care – children who are home alone after school or for a portion of the day and must care for themselves

32. 7 million teens are in self care • Reasons: • More dual career and working single parents • Decrease in number of extended families • High costs of child care • Lack of quality before and after school programs

33. Plan for self care • Decide if child can handle self care • Learn laws of state for age when children can be safely left at home • Around 12 years of age

34. Questions to Ask? • How mature is the child? • How safe is the home? • How safe is the neighborhood? • How do children feel about self-care?

35. Parents need to teach their kids skills for self care • 1) make sure child learns safety rules • 2) work out a way for parents to know the answer to the 3 W’s • Where, what and who

36. 3) set rules about the use of appliances, TV, computer, stereo, videos and other equipment; • Having friends over • Leaving the house • Effects of Self-Care Page 651 figure 24-10

37. 4) establish a routine for children to follow • 5) Begin self-care gradually • Short periods of time, do a quick errand • Parents need to understand it is always more risky than adult supervision

38. Coping with Family Moves • Mobile society, move place to place • 1/5 population move each year • May move 14 times in a lifetime • Stress lasts only a few weeks or month

39. Stress lessen: • Moves do not occur too often • No added stress is present, death or divorce • Parents are pleased about the move • Children have siblings who can act as playmates until they make new friends

40. School-age children move at the beginning or end of a school term • School-age children have good grades and do well in school • Children have special skills or interests

41. Stress occurs because moving is a change • Adults reduce stress by positive reasons for moving: • More income, better schools, widen interests

42. Take kids to see new home or new school before the move • Have them help pack • Pack young children’s things last • Plan more time to be with children after the move

43. Coping with Death • Basic part of life • Children gradually begin to understand death • Separations from adults are the child’s earliest time of loss (baby sitter, etc) • Until 3 or 4 yrs, children have little if any understanding of death

44. Preschool ideas of death are limited • Concepts to help: • Life can stop • Death is forever • People and pets can’t come back to life even if you really want them to

45. Adults should teach children to express their grief • Adults need to be honest about their loss and their feelings • In time they come to terms with their loss

46. Helping Children Cope with Grief • Answer questions honestly • Find a great book • If a family member has a terminal illness, adults should prepare their child

47. When Death Occurs • Explain on their level what has happened • Don’t tell them they are sleeping • Explain religious beliefs simply • Be prepared to answer questions • Reassure children parents should live a long time • Never promise not to die

48. Coping with Divorce • 10% children currently live with a divorced parent • Has been declining in recent years • Not a reliable indicator of the break-up of families • Number of unmarried couples living together has greatly increased

49. Causes of Divorce • Mobile society brings people of differing backgrounds together • Being pregnant before marriage and marrying as a teen • Living together does not reduce a couple’s chance for divorce • Financial strain • Society (personal happiness—get a divorce to escape an unhappy situation)

50. Effects of Divorce • Affects both adults and children • Adults overcome and adjust with a new lifestyle • Children involved, adults often have a continual relationship with the former spouse and in laws