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Moving On & Staying On NikiHeumann Bridget Hall
Who is our audience? What brought you here today? Are you moving or staying on? What number move is this? How many times have you and your family adjusted to others leaving? Do you consider yourself to be a TCA? Do you consider your child to be a TCK? If you have made a move what have been some of your biggest challenges?
A TCK is a person who has spent a significant part of his/her developmental years outside their parents’ culture. Challenges Rootlessness Insecurity Unresolved Grief or Sadness Off-balance Out-of-phase Strengths • Linguistic Ability • Cross-cultural Skills • Three-dimensional Worldview • Maturity
lacking prejudice Respectful of diversity multilingual tolerant flexible Internationally minded • Open minded Adaptable
R.A.F.T.S. Reconcile your Relationships Acknowledge your Friendships Think about where you will be next Say Good-bye
Staying On Acknowledge staying on is a transition Find ways for your child to stay connected to friends who have left Encourage your child to have a pen pal Encourage your child to be a buddy to a new student Reach out to new families Consider sending your child to ECA camp to form bonds with new students prior to the first day of school Seek help from the school counselor Seek help from an outside counselor
Stages of Transitions Honeymoon phase Crisis period (culture shock) Adjustment phase Acceptance and Adaptation phase Reentry shock
What can parents do to support an international school life style? Have a “home base” in what you consider to be your home, that you visit at least once a year Talk about your home culture and keep connected with family still living in your ’home base’ Build a international address book to keep in contact with friends and encourage your child to do the same Acknowledge the importance of keepsakes (yearbooks, school uniform, pictures, performance programs and awards) Help draw connections between similarities of people and cultures
What can parents do to help with the transition Planning Ahead Arrive at the next country in time to start the first day of school Investigate what supplies your child will need to start school be prepared until your shipment arrives Learn some basic words/phrases if you don’t know the language and consider buying a portable translator for the whole family Bring a good supply of recent passport size photos During the Transition • Have frequent open discussions • Involve your children in the decision making steps involved in a move • Allow your children to make choices • Validate and acknowledge the emotions and feelings your child is experiencing • Provide opportunities for your children to express their grief/anger be supportive of their needs; journaling, scrap booking • Keep your routines normal • Seek help from the school counselor • Seek help from an outside counselor
What can your child do to help themselves? Be involved in family conversations & decisions about the move Learn about the new country prior to moving there Connect with next school via the counselor or another student Have someone to talk to about their feelings Know & expect to feel overwhelmed & unsure…and that’s okay Become involved in after school activities, clubs and community social events as early as possible in the next school year Do something positive when you are feeling sad or lonely Be patient…making friends and learning new cultures takes time Keep your routines normal
Transition Success, Strategies & Challenges What’s worked & what hasn’t?
References http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_culture_kid#cite_note‐stategov-0 http://www.tckid.com/crossculturalkid.html http://www.clinicalsocialworksociety.org/included/docs/con?nuing_educa?on/ThirdCultureKids.pdf “7 Things every TCK Should Know” http://tckacademy.com/class/001/handoutansers001/pdf 17 Ways to Help Third Culture Kids http://www.tckid.com/group/17-ways-to-help=third-culture-kids/ Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds. David C. Pollock and Ruth Van Reken