Finding Common Ground Strategies for Improved Communications

1. Finding Common GroundStrategies for Improved Communications

2. Purpose of Training • Re-engineering = Change • Change = Potential Conflict • Conflict = Opportunities if Resolved Positively and Collaboratively

3. Agenda • 3.5 hours, 1 break • Lots of interactivity • No lecture • Some fun

4. Icebreaker • Your Name • Your Job • Which animal best represents your approach to conflict?

5. Self Assessment • No Names • Not Graded • Complete again at the end of class

6. Complete Self Assessment 2 Minutes 0 1 2

7. Objectives • Recognize the major causes of conflict and it can present positive opportunities • Respond to conflict by respecting the person • Resolve conflict by addressing the problem • Use Reflection to learn from conflict By the end of this course, you will be able to:

8. Recognize The 4 Rs Respond With Respect Resolve Reflect

9. Recognize Recognize Respond With Respect Resolve Reflect

10. Definition of Conflict The differences that arise between people that cause them concern. • Conflict is an inevitable and normal part of life • All parties may not be aware that there is a conflict • We may have internal conflicts – we are “of two minds” about something • Conflict is between two or more people and may be about one or more issues or problems • Conflicts aren’t necessarily negative, but present opportunities to solve problems collaboratively

11. Common Workplace Conflicts Brainstorm • The issue or conflict • The people involved • What each party wants 10 minutes to list 2 issues Use Worksheets & flipcharts 2 minutes to describe to the entire group

12. Common Workplace Conflicts Brainstorm • The issue or conflict • The people involved • What each party wants 10 Minutes 0 10 5

13. Group Presentations • Present the issue or conflict • Identify the parties involved • Describe what each party wants

14. Personal Issue or Conflict • The issue or conflict • The people involved • What each party wants 0 5

15. Common Causes ofConflict Facts Values Methods Goals

16. Common Causes Facts • People receive new information at different times. • Everyone might not receive the new information. • People might interpret things differently. Sharing information or getting reliable information usually can resolve conflicts over facts.

17. Common Causes Methods • People often differ over the best way to do something. • Supervisors may have different ways of rewarding or disciplining employees. • Managers may have different opinions about how to keep their staff up to date on current information. Conflict over methods can usually be resolved by the airing of differences and collaboration—working together to come to an agreement on methods.

18. Common Causes Goals • Viewing a job as an opportunity/living/chore until retirement. • A Manager’s goal might be to achieve maximum efficiency while a supervisor might be more interested in the personal needs of team. • A flight passenger’s goal is to get to their flight on time, while the goal of the security screener is to make sure flight security is maintained. Disagreement over goals can usually be resolved by problem solving and finding common ground.

19. Common Causes Values • One person might see working part time as an opportunity to spend more time with his/her family while another might view it as a loss of income. • One person might have been brought up to respect everyone and another might have been brought up to expect other people to earn respect • Our cultural and religious background influences how we behave. We must acknowledge our differences, respect each other's position, recognizing that long-held beliefs and values will not change.

20. Common Causes Exercise Facts Values 0 5 Methods Goals • 5 Minutes • Use first letters to identify the possible causes • More than 1 cause is possible

21. Recognize Review Respond With Respect Resolve Reflect

22. Recognize Respond Respond With Respect Resolve Reflect

23. Responses to Conflict • Avoid • Complain • Take it Home • Blame Others • Lump it • Give in • Get Angry

24. Chinese Symbol for Conflict “Risk” “Opportunity”

25. Risk and Opportunity Scenarios 6 Minutes 0 2 4 6

26. Risk and Opportunity Opportunity Risk

27. Effective Communication Active Listening Effective Speaking

28. Responding Exercise – Part 1

29. Responding Exercise – Part 1 2 Minutes 0 2 1

30. Responding with Respect Validate – acknowledge understanding and the feelings of other person. Ask – use open-ended questions to demonstrate you heard. Listen – paraphrase to demonstrate understanding.

31. Active Listening Skills • Listen with respect – give the other person time to talk • Don’t challenge or interrupt • Check for understanding • Don’t problem-solve

32. Responding Exercise – Part 2 2 Minutes 0 2 1

33. Two Parts of Communication

34. How and What we Communicate Words – Tone of voice – Body language – 7 % 38 % 55% Source: Mehrabian, Albert (1981) Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

35. 8 Ways to ask a Question Did I say you had an attitude problem? say I you attitude

36. Respond with Respect - Summary Conflict can be risk and opportunity • Communication is Key • Validate • Ask Questions • Listen How we say something is as important as what we say!

37. Break 10 Minutes 0 10 5

38. Recognize Resolve Respond With Respect Resolve Reflect

39. The Vacation Dilemma Positions - What Beach Mountains Near by Socializing Food Swimming Fresh Air Sun Shopping Quiet Food Hiking Stars Near by Boating Wildlife Interests - Why

40. Uncovering Interests Positions - What • A stand or demand • What someone wants Dignity Interests Interests Self-esteem Interests - Why Interests Respect Belonging • Why a person wants something or wants something done in a particular way • Their fears, hopes, wants, needs Interests Security Interests Well-being

41. Position/Interests Scenarios in Book • Use the Uncovering Interests Worksheet: • Identify Issue or Problem • Identify Positions • Uncover Interests 10 Minutes 0 10 5

42. Position/Interests Conflicts at Work • Use the Uncovering Interests Worksheet: • Identify Issue or Problem • Identify Positions • Uncover Interests 10 Minutes 0 10 5

43. Exploring Options • Ideas for Brainstorming • Collect as many ideas as possible from all participants • All ideas are welcome • Be creative • Do not criticize or judge; don't groan, frown, or laugh • All ideas are equally valid at this point. • Build on other peoples' ideas.

44. Exploring Options – 5 minutes 5 0

45. Decide on a “SMART” Agreement Specific Mutually acceptable Appropriate Realistic Time-based

46. Recognize Review Respond With Respect Resolve Reflect

47. Recognize Reflect Respond With Respect Resolve Reflect

48. The VALUED Approach Validate Ask, and Listen to Uncover Interests Explore Options and Decide on an Agreement

49. Learning from Conflict Exercise • Refer to the personal issue identified at the beginning • Use the Finding Common Ground Worksheet • Voluntary sharing 5 Minutes 5 0

50. Summary • A definition of conflict • Common causes of conflict • Elements of Communication • Guidelines for Responding with Respect • Interests v. Positions • “SMART” Agreements • 4Rs • A “VALUED” Approach