Defining Self-Esteem, and Opposing Viewpoints. Week Two. Agenda. Branden’s Definition of Self-Esteem Expanding the Definition Beyond Branden Opposing Viewpoints: Is Self-Esteem a Valid Construct?. Self Esteem: The Immune System of Consciousness. What is meant by Consciousness?
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The feeling of being entitled to assert our thoughts, needs and wants
The feeling of being entitled to achieve our values, and enjoy the fruits of our efforts
Joy in being who I am, not in being better than someone else
Satisfaction with our moral choices
Our happiness and personal fulfillment are important enough to work for
Low SE = Relationship Dissatisfaction
If I do not feel lovable, it is difficult for me to believe that anyone else loves me
If I do not accept myself, how can I accept your love for me?
Your warmth and devotion are confusing: it confounds my self-concept, since I “know” I am not lovable. Your feeling for me cannot possibly be real or lasting.
This can become exhausting for those who love us
Unwittingly, I become a saboteur of love
Demanding excessive reassurances
Venting irrational possessiveness
Making catastrophes of small frictions
Seeking to control through subservience or domination
“We may need a good deal of reflection and self-examination to appreciate how our deepest view of ourselves shows up in the ten thousand choices that add up to our destiny”
~ Branden, page 17