Section 8 Writing Improvement Program Meeting 5 13-01

1. Section 8Writing Improvement ProgramMeeting 513-01

2. TEAM 8WRITING IMPROVEMENT PROGRAM(WIP) CLASS IN SESSION

3. Team 8 WIP Schedule As of 1 AUG 12 Meet in Room 2133 & 2132

4. Pronoun Problems • AGREE in NUMBER - If the pronoun takes the place of a singular noun, you have to use a singular pronoun. If a student parks a car on campus, he or she has to buy a parking sticker. (NOT: If a student parks a car on campus, they have to buy a parking sticker.) REMEMBER: The words EVERYBODY, ANYBODY, ANYONE, EACH, NEITHER, NOBODY, SOMEONE, A PERSON, etc. are singular and take singular pronouns. • Everybody ought to do his or her best. (NOT: their best) • Neither of the girls brought her umbrella. (NOT: their umbrellas) • AGREE in PERSON - If you are writing in the "first person" (I), don't confuse your reader by switching to the "second person" (you) or "third person" (he, she, they, it, etc.). Similarly, if you are using the "second person," don't switch to "first" or "third.“ When a person comes to class, he or she should have his or her homework ready. (NOT: When a person comes to class, you should have your homework ready.)

5. Pronoun Problems • REFER CLEARLY to a specific noun - Don't be vague or ambiguous. NOT: Although the motorcycle hit the tree, it was not damaged. (Is "it" the motorcycle or the tree?) NOT: I don't think they should show violence on TV. (Who are "they"?) NOT: Vacation is coming soon, which is nice. (What is nice, the vacation or the fact that it is coming soon?) NOT: George worked in a national forest last summer. This may be his life's work. (What word does "this" refer to?) • Pronoun Case - is really a very simple matter. There are three cases. Subjective case: pronouns used as subject. Objective case: pronouns used as objects of verbs or prepositions. Possessive case: pronouns which express ownership

6. Pronoun Problems • In compound structures, where there are two pronouns or a noun and a pronoun, drop the other noun for a moment. Then you can see which case you want. NOT: Bob and me travel a good deal.(Would you say, "me travel"?) NOT: He gave the flowers to Jane and I.(Would you say, "he gave the flowers to I"?) NOT: Us men like the coach.(Would you say, "us like the coach"?) • In comparisons. Comparisons usually follow than or as: He is taller than I (am tall). This helps you as much as (it helps) me. She is as noisy as I (am). Comparisons are really shorthand sentences which usually omit words, such as those in the parentheses in the sentences above. If you complete the comparison in your head, you can choose the correct case for the pronoun. NOT: He is taller than me.(Would you say, "than me am tall"?)

7. Parallelism/Parallel Structure • If they buy the assigned books, students can usually be successful, but they must read them and careful notes must be taken. Putting equal ideas in a sentence in a parallel construction will help you make their coordinate relationship more immediately clear to your reader. The first sentence really sets three conditions for a student’s success; buying the books, reading them, and taking notes. But the sentence muddies this equal relationship by putting the first in an if clause separate for the other two. Although the last two conditions - reading the books and taking notes - are coordinated ; the first is active and the second passive, thus further weakening their coordinate relationship.

8. Parallelism/Parallel Structure Coordinating conjunctions - Parallelism is useful for constructing effective sentences, for combining successive sentences to achieve economy and clarity, and for maintaining coherencethroughout an entire paragraph. On the other hand, lack of parallelism can throw a reader off and produce ineffective sentences. To keep your sentences clear, as well as grammatically correct, make sure the structural patterns of coordinate elements match one another. As an industrial designer, Pam enjoys her work with engineers and creating the shape of mass-produced products. As an industrial designer, Pam enjoys working with engineers and creating the shape of mass-produced products. (correct) Industrial designers are highly trained, with creative ideas, and have knowledge of ergonomics. Industrial designers are highly trained, creative, and knowledgeable in ergonomics. (correct)

9. Parallelism/Parallel Structure When you are coordinating prepositional phrases or infinitives, clarity will sometimes require you to clarify parallel structure by repeating prepositions. A poorly designed telephone may be identified by the trouble it gives you with dialing or holding the receiver. (Dialing the receiver?) A poorly designed telephone maybe identified by the trouble it gives you with dialing or with holding the receiver. (correct) Industrial designers are trained to study the way people will use a product and then create the most attractive but functional form. (People use and then create?) Industrial designers are trained to study the way people will use a product and then to create the most attractive but functional form. (correct)

10. Prepositions • In grammar, a preposition is a part of speech that introduces a prepositional phrase. For example, in the sentence "The cat sleeps on the sofa", the word "on" is a preposition, introducing the prepositional phrase "on the sofa". • In English, the most used prepositions are "of", "to", "in", "for", "with" and "on". Simply put, a preposition indicates a relation between things mentioned in a sentence. • as a modifier to a verb • sleepthroughout the winter • dancedatop the tablesfor hours • as a modifier to a noun • the weatherin April • cheesesfrom Francewith live bacteria • as the complement of a verb • insiston staying home • disposeof unwanted items • as the complement of a noun • - a thirstfor revenge • - an amendmentto the constitution • as the complement of an adjective or adverb • - attentiveto their needs • - separatelyfrom its neighbors • as the complement of another preposition • - untilafter supper • - frombeneath the bed

11. Parallelism/Parallel Structure Correlative conjunctions - Correlative conjunctions are coordinating pairs: either…or, neither….nor, both…and, not…but, not only…but also. Parallelism requires that the structure following second part of the correlative be the same as that following the first part. A well-designed office chair both should be attractive to look at and comfortable to sit in. A well-designed office chair should be both attractive to look at and comfortable to sit in. (correct) Industrial designers work on not only office furniture and equipment, bathroom fixtures, kitchen appliances, beds, lamps, and cookware but also on cars, camping gear, and cameras. Industrial designers work not only on office furniture and equipment, bathroom fixtures, kitchen appliances, beds, lamps, and cookware but also on cars, camping gear, and cameras. (correct)

12. Parallelism/Parallel Structure When you combine the common parts of these two sentences to get Pierre Cardin is famous for, it is clear that the two distance parts that belong in parallel form are his fashion designs and the industrial design that bear his name. “Pierre Cardin is famous for his fashion designs. Pierre Cardin is famous for his industrial designs that bear his name.” Not only is Pierre Cardin famous for his fashion designs but also the industrial design that bear his name. Pierre Cardin is famous for not only his fashion designs but also the industrial designs that bear his name. (correct) Or Pierre Cardin is famous not only for his fashion designs but also for the industrial designs that bear his name. (correct)

13. Parallelism/Parallel Structure Avoid faulty parallelism with and who, and which, ant that - So not use an and who, and which, or and that clause in a sentence unless you have already used a parallel who, which, or that clause. (The same goes for but and who, which, or that.) We met Abner Fulton, a brilliant biologist and who is also an excellent pianist. We met Abner Fulton, who is a brilliant biologist and who is also an excellent pianist. (correct) Or We met Abner Fulton who is both, a brilliant biologist and an excellent pianist. (correct) I like a detective novel with exciting action and that keeps me guessing. I like a detective novel that has exciting action and that keeps me guessing. (correct)

14. Parallelism/Parallel Structure Parallel Structure - This principle that of parallel construction requires that expressions of similar content and function should be outwardly similar. The likeness of form enables the reader to recognize more readily the likeness of content and function. Familiar instances from the Bible are the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes, and the petitions of the Lord's Prayer.  Unskillful writers often violate this principle, from a mistaken belief that they should constantly vary the form of their expressions. It is true that in repeating a statement in order to emphasize it, the writers may have needed to vary its form. But apart from this, writers should follow carefully the principle of parallel construction.

15. Parallelism/Parallel Structure The left-hand version gives the impression that the writer is undecided or timid; he seems unable or afraid to choose one form of expression and hold to it. The right-hand version shows that the writer has at least made his choice and abided by it. By this principle, an article or a preposition applying to all the members of a series must either be used only before the first term or else be repeated before each term.

16. Parallelism/Parallel Structure Correlative expressions (both, and; not, but; not only, but also; either, or; first, second, third; and the like) should be followed by the same grammatical construction. Many violations of this rule can be corrected by rearranging the sentence.

17. Parallelism/Parallel Structure When making comparisons, the things you compare should be couched in parallel structures whenever that is possible and appropriate.

18. Parallelism/Parallel Structure Understanding Parallel Structure - Parallel structure adds both clout and clarity to your writing. When you use parallel structure, you increase the readability of your writing by creating word patterns readers can follow easily. Parallel structure (also called parallelism) is the repetition of a chosen grammatical form within a sentence. By making each compared item or idea in your sentence follow the same grammatical pattern, you create a parallel construction. Not Parallel: Ellen likes hiking, the rodeo, and to take afternoon naps. Parallel: Ellen likes hiking, attending the rodeo, and taking afternoon naps. OR Ellen likes to hike, attend the rodeo, and take afternoon naps. Using Parallel Structure With Coordinating Conjunctions - When you connect two or more clauses or phrases with a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, or so), use parallel structure. Not Parallel: My best friend took me dancing and to a show. Parallel: My best friend took me to a dance and a show.

19. Parallelism/Parallel Structure With Correlative Conjunctions - When you connect two clauses or phrases with a correlative conjunction (not only…but also, either…or, neither…nor, if…then, etc.), use parallel structure. Not Parallel: My dog not only likes to play fetch, but also chase cars. Parallel: My dog not only likes to play fetch, but he also likes to chase cars. OR Parallel: My dog likes not only to play fetch, but also to chase cars.

20. Parallelism/Parallel Structure With Phrases or Clauses of Comparison - When you connect two clauses or phrases with a word of comparison, such as than or as, use parallel structure. Not Parallel: I would rather pay for my education than financial aid. Parallel: I would rather pay for my education than receive financial aid. With Lists - You are comparing items in a list, use parallel structure when you: Not Parallel: John Taylor Gatto criticizes public schools because they are compulsory, funded by the government, and destroy students' humanity. Parallel: John Taylor Gatto criticizes public schools because they are compulsory, government-funded, and normalizing.

21. 1. A____ Jennifer is smart, beautiful, and loves everyone. B____ Jennifer is smart, beautiful, and caring. Answer A is incorrect. Smart and beautiful are adjectives, but loves everyone is a phrase. Answer B is correct. 2. A____ Andy’s day is so long that he gets up at 6:00 a.m., leaves for work at 6:30 a.m., is eating dinner at 11:00 p.m., and goes to bed at 2:00 a.m. B____ Andy’s day is so long that he gets up at 6:00 a.m., leaves for work at 6:30 a.m., eats dinner at 11:00 p.m., and goes to bed at 2:00 a.m. Answer A is incorrect. Gets up, leaves, and goes are in the present tense. Is eating is present progressive tense. Answer B is correct. 3. A____ Bob was not only Sam’s roommate, but also he was his best friend. B____ Bob was not only Sam’s roommate, but also his best friend. Answer A is incorrect. Sam’s roommate is a phrase, and he was his best friend is a sentence. Answer B is correct.

22. 4. A____ If you go to the store, please remember to pick up your prescription, buy some shampoo, and to look for a notebook. B____ If you go to the store, please remember to pick up your prescription, to buy some shampoo, and to look for a notebook. Answer A is incorrect. To is used in the first phrase and the third phrase, so to should also be used in the second phrase. Answer B is correct. 5. A____ I spent two hours with Ms. Smith, reviewing my job performance, evaluating my goals, and discussing my future with the company. B____ I spent two hours with Ms. Smith, reviewing my job performance, evaluating my goals, and my future with the company was also discussed. Answer A is correct. Answer B is incorrect. Reviewing my job performance and evaluating my goals are phrases. My future with the company was also discussed is a sentence.

23. Next Meeting: Next Wednesday, 17 OCT 0730! HW: Draft of Your Article Optional Paragraphs: Obama And Romney Should Listen To Kissinger On China or America Just Can't Help It NOTE: Hyperlinks are active when in presentation mode.