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The Creation Myth

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  1. The Creation Myth That is, quite honestly, more exciting than the stuff you read yesterday

  2. Only Chaos (void, nothingness) • From the void (Chaos) came Erebus (dwelling place of death) and Night; all was empty, silent, dark In the beginning…

  3. Out of nowhere….LOVE was born and of course, bought order (hmm…) • Love bore Light and Day (Regular…huh?) And then…

  4. Now Gaea appears What?

  5. Erebus and Night slept together and gave birth to Ether (heavenly light) and Day (Earthly light) Not to be confused…

  6. Night produced Doom, Fate, Death, Sleep, Dreams, Nemesis What else would come from Night?

  7. Gaea gave birth (alone) to Uranus…oooookay • Uranus covered Gaea on all sides and they produced the three Cyclopes, the three Hecatoncheires, and the Twelve Titans (wow) • And so it starts…. And here we go…

  8. Of course he was a bad husband (conflict drives plot remember)…he hated the Hecatoncheires and pushed them to hidden places in the Earth (which by the way is her womb!) • She becomes angry and tries to get the other kids to kill him with a flint sickle. Only Cronus, the youngest, wasn’t afraid to attack “Daddy”. The plot thickens…

  9. While Gaea was laying with Uranus, Cronus comes in and castrates him and throws his genitals into the sea. (insert bland stare here) SMH…

  10. Uhm…he either died, went to Italy, or just withdrew. But he did tell them all, “You will be PUNISHED!!!) • His blood sprang forth as the Giants, Ash Tree Nymphs, and the Erinyes (furies). The sea foam and genitals made Aphrodite (insert another blank stare here) What the What?

  11. So… Cronus is the new ruler with his sister/wife Rhea (and yet another blank stare) • Like dad, he hated the Cyclopes and the Hecatoncheires so he imprisoned them in Tatarus. Yes,insert more incest…sorry

  12. Well, both Gaea and Uranus prophesied that Cronus would be overthrown by a son. So he swallows all the kids (even the girls I guess to be on the safe side, who knows, I didn’t write this stuff) Told you so…

  13. So now Rhea’s angry • The birth of the sixth child Rhea hid…it was… “When a woman’s fed up…”

  14. Zeus! Stone, wrapped, swallowed…he was raised by nymphs in Crete. Oh Yeah!

  15. After speaking with Metis who gives Cronus a drink to make him vomit, Zeus returns to Mt. Olympus after Rhea’s prodding. • Ok, so he’s now the cup bearer and this is how he gets to give Cronus the drink…smh Really? Too easy…

  16. Since the gods/goddesses were vomited out unharmed, they made Zeus their leader! (AWWWW) Ain’t that sweet…

  17. So…Atlas became leader of the Titans during battle with the gods. Prometheus, Epimetheus, and Oceanus were excluded from the side of the Titans. Where they go?

  18. Oh no!!!! The gods are losing….no wait!!! Let’s go to Tatarus and… guess? Sooo predictable…

  19. Cyclopes gave Zeus lightning bolts. Fight, fight, fight and… • The gods win!!!! Again…so predictable

  20. Zeus exiles the Titans except for Atlas whose punishment was… Bout ta mess up, Yo…

  21. But…Gaea still mad because the children were sent back. So she gave birth to her last child… • Typhoeus…made most of the gods flee. Zeus kills him with a lightning bolt. He’s buried under Mt. Etna in Sicily. EPIC FAIL!