By William Ury

1. By William Ury Getting Past No Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

2. We already now know the importance and frequency of negotiations • We want to get to yes, but often we need to get past “NO” first. Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

3. What if other party does not want to cooperate? • Attacks/Counterattacks • Anger/Suspicion • Habit of hard bargaining • Interests appearing irreconcilable • Efforts of intimidation Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

4. A method that is SOFT on the PEOPLE and HARD on the PROBLEM. • Instead of attacking each other, attack the problem. • Instead of glowering across the table, you sit next to each other and face the problem. Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

5. Revolves around interests instead of positions. • Identify each parties interests • Explores different options for meeting interests • Goal is to reach a mutually satisfactory agreement in an efficient and amicable way. Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

6. Better results for both sides. • Save time and energy by cutting out posturing. • Better working relationships – mutual future benefit Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

7. Your challenge is to change the game from face-to-face confrontation into side-by-side problem solving Be prepared and map out a way towards an agreement Use “Breakthrough” strategy to pass by obstacles that stand in your way Goal is to reach a mutually satisfactory agreement in an efficient and amicable way Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

8. Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

9. The secret of effective negotiation is to be prepared. • Prepare before every meeting • After meeting assess strategy and prepare again Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

10. Interests • Options • Standards • Alternatives • Proposals Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

11. Preparation is easier to do when you’re talking it over with someone else. Others bring new perspectives, compel you to address points of difficulty you might otherwise avoid, and offer moral encouragement. Consider: • What you will say • How you will respond to what they say • Other side’s tactics Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

12. Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

13. Chapter 1: Acting Without Thinking—Natural Reaction • Striking Back • Occurs when a person is attacked and attacks back • Giving In • Opposite of striking back; you may be so uncomfortable that you just want out of the situation • Breaking Off • Ending all ties with the other party Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

14. Chapter 1: Reaction • Dangers of Reacting Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

15. Chapter 1: Reaction • Go to the Balcony Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

16. Chapter 1: Three Kinds of Tactics Three Kinds of Tactics • Stonewalls • Refusal to budge • Attacks • Pressure and intimidation • “Do it, or else!” • Tricks • Dupe you into giving in by taking advantage of you Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

17. Chapter 1: Name the Game • Recognize the Tactic • Once you recognize the attempt to stone wall, attack or trick you, it will be much easier to avoid giving in to the other party • Identify Liars • You can do this by paying attention to facial expressions, body language and listening to tone of voice Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

18. Chapter 1: Hot Buttons • Know your hot buttons • Learn to better deal with them • Identify and prepare for criticism Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

19. Chapter 1: Time to Think • 3 ways to get more time in a negotiation • Pause and Say Nothing • Rewind the Tape • Take a timeout • Divert from topic by using a joke Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

20. Chapter 1: Decision Time • Don’t make Important decisions on spot Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

21. Chapter 1: Getting What You Want!! • The natural human response in a difficult situation is to react. • Going to the balcony can help you prepare by identifying tactics, liars and knowing your hot buttons in addition to buying yourself time to think, reflect and verify with the other party that you have a good understanding of the situation without making decisions on the spot. Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

22. Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

23. Just as “going to the balcony” helps you regain your mental balance, “step(ping) to their side will help you do the same for the other party. • Common mistake is to try to reason with someone that is not receptive. • The other party is convinced they are right and unwilling to listen. Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

24. Challenge is to create a favorable climate in which you can negotiate. • Will need to disarm their hostile emotions • In order to get them to hear you • To garner a measure of respect • SURPRISE them and do the opposite of what they expect by Stepping To Their Side Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

25. Stepping to their side means doing 3 things: • Listening • Acknowledging • Agreeing • By doing these three things you are essentially acknowledging them as a person. Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

26. “Effective Negotiators Listen Far More Than They Talk” • Parties feel as other party is not listening - Usually because one second party presents their position without acknowledging what the first party said. • Give the Other Side a Hearing • People get satisfaction from voicing their feelings and resentments • Will become less reactive, more rational, more responsive to problem solving negotiation • Listen instead of reacting or plotting next step • Paraphrase and Ask for Corrections • Prove you listened by repeating back what you understood. • Other side feels they are understood and has the satisfaction of correcting you. Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

27. Acknowledging their point will fulfill the need to be recognized. It does not mean you agree with it, but that you recognize it is a valid point among others. • Example: “You Have A Point There” • Acknowledge Their Feelings • Disarm them by first letting them know you understand how they feel. • Offer an Apology-It is a powerful form of acknowledgement • If not your fault, then apologize for your share • Can set in motion a process of reconciliation if other party also apologizes for their share. • Project Confidence – As you acknowledge them • Use reasonable expressions • Adopt a calm, confident posture and tone Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

28. It will be hard for the other party to attack someone that agrees with them. • Agree Without Conceding • Focus on issues you already agree • Look for any opportunity to agree – even if only in humorous way • Accumulate Yeses-A powerful tool to disarm the other side • Look for occasions where you can say “yes” without making a concession • Can transform an antagonistic argument into a reasoned one • Creates atmosphere where they are more likely to say yes to a substantive proposal • Tune Into Their Wavelength– Agreement can also be non verbal • Observe and match other party’s form in delivering the content and try to match it. • Tone of voice, Speed, Gestures • Be aware of other party’s culture • Consider the sensory language they use when responding • If they say “Listen to this,” respond with “I hear you.” Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

29. By doing these three things you are in fact acknowledging them as people. You are showing them respect. • Acknowledge Their Authority and Competence – disarms other side • A person who’s ego needs stroking is dependent on recognition of others. • Use a phrase such as “I respect your authority” • Build a Working Relationship • Invite them to do something outside of work – coffee, lunch, drinks, etc. • Make small talk before the negotiation • Other party will give you benefit of doubt • Best to start before problems arise Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

30. After listening actively it is your turn to act and get your views across. Need to do this without making them close their ears. • Don’t Say “But,” Say “Yes…And”- More Receptive Towards This • Other party can perceive it as you telling them they are wrong • Instead, you should first acknowledge their view with a “yes” and preface your own with an “and” • Make “I” Statements, Not “You” Statements • Less likely to provoke other side if you speak about yourself rather than them • You statements can cause the other party to become defensive Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

31. Stand Up For Yourself • Acknowledgement is more powerful coming from someone perceived of as strong and confident instead of weak • Acknowledge the person’s views and stand up for your own • Acknowledge Your Differences with Optimism • Express optimism in believing your differences can be resolved • Example: “I think we can make a deal here” Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

32. Negotiations are common in everyday life and even more so in the business world. A company can benefit greatly by Implementing Getting Past No into their culture. • Ideas on how companies can incorporate Getting Past No: • Initial human resources training and management training • Pay special attention to the detailed examples in the book • Preparation is key. Methods must be practiced before hand Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari

33. Ury, William (1991). Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations. • Bantam Books. ISBN 0-553-37131-2. Team: Mohammad Asad, Catherine Broumley, Ralph Page, Linda Vicari