Coping with Emotions

1. Humber Recovery College Humber Recovery College Humber Recovery College Coping with Emotions Session 6: Emotion Regulation Skills

2. Last time, we: • Talked about states of mind, and how we can move into ‘wise mind’ • Reflected on our tendency to make negative judgments • Considered how we can be more mindful in our communication with others Quick Review of Last Session

3. By the end of this session you will be able to: • Distinguish between primary and secondary emotions • Explain why we have emotions and how they work • Recognise the thoughts-feelings-behaviours cycle in action in your own life • Recognise some of your own negative or self-destructive behaviour patterns as a result of overwhelming emotions Aims of Today’s Session

4. Emotion regulation is about learning to cope with emotions in new and effective ways • We can control our emotions or our emotions control you • You can’t always control how you feel but you can control your reactions to how you feel What are ‘emotion regulation’ skills?

5. In DBT, there are 9 emotion regulation skills that will help you gain control of your emotions and the behaviours associated with them: • Recognising your emotions • Overcoming barriers to healthy emotions • Reducing your physical vulnerability • Reducing your cognitive vulnerability • Increasing your positive emotions • Being mindful of your emotions without judgment • Emotion exposure • Doing the opposite of emotional urges • Problem solving Emotion Regulation Skills

6. Emotions are signals from your body that tell you what is happening • If something pleasurable is happening to you, you feel good • If something distressing is happening to you, you feel bad What are Emotions?

7. PRIMARY EMOTIONS • These are our initial reactions to what is happening e.g.. You might feel surprise if you won something; if someone dies, you feel sad SECONDARY EMOTIONS • These are emotional reactions to your primary emotions – so feelings about your feelings E.g.: You yelled at your partner or child because they did something that made you angry. The anger came on very quickly. A little later you feel guilty about getting so angry. • Which is the primary emotions and which is the secondary emotion? Primary & Secondary Emotions

8. Primary emotions can set off chains of other emotions and subsequent behaviours • Consequently, it is important to be able to identify what the primary emotion is in a distressing situation • So you can learn to cope with that feeling before the avalanche of secondary emotions overwhelms you Primary & Secondary Emotions

9. Discuss in your group what your primary and secondary emotions might be in each of the following scenarios: • You crash into the back of somebody on your way to work. Nobody is injured but the cars are damaged. • A friend who often lets you down cancels coming to your birthday because her partner is ill. • Your meal takes over an hour to arrive in a restaurant and when it arrives it is burnt. You are rude to the waitress as a consequence. • Your card gets declined at the supermarket. Identifying Primary & Secondary Emotions

10. Emotions are chemical and electrical signals in your body that alert you to what is happening • They usually begin from your senses. The signal then travels to your brain where it is processed in the LIMBIC SYSTEM • The limbic system is connected to the rest of your brain and your body so it can tell your body what to do in response to an emotional situation How do emotions work?

11. Louise was walking down a busy street when suddenly a very large and angry dog began barking viciously and running towards her. • In that instant, an emotional signal was sent from her eyes and ears to her brain. • Her limbic system then processed the information without Louise having to think about what to do. • This is called fight or flight and it determined whether Louise was going to stay to fight the dog or run away. • Wisely, she chose to run away, and she escaped unharmed. Her emotions helped her survive and avoid any pain. Fight or Flight

12. Louise walks down the same street the following week. • Very quickly, she begins to feel afraid. • This is called a conditioned response. • Louise’s limbic system is trying to protect her by helping her remember the dangerous dog. • Sensibly, she chooses to walk down a different street to avoid the dog. • Louise’s emotions initially helped her escape danger and pain, and later, they also helped her avoid potential harm. Conditioned Response

13. Learning how to recognise your emotions and their effect on your life is the first step to controlling your high-intensity emotional reactions • The tidal wave of emotions often hits us before we’ve had a chance to see it coming • To control this, it is necessary to slow down the emotional process so that it can be examined • After it has been examined, you can make healthier choices Recognising Your Emotions

14. Using the worksheet, think about a recent incident in your life that caused you upset and a wave of overwhelming emotions. Note down your responses to the following questions: • What happened? • Why do you think the situation happened? • How did the situation make you feel, both emotionally and physically? • What did you want to do as a result of how you felt? • What did you do and what did you say? • How did your emotions and actions affect you later? Remember – you need to practice examining past situations so that you learn to identify your emotions and their consequences while they are happening Recognising Your Emotions

15. It can be useful to label your emotions out loud. Just say “Right now I am feeling…” quietly to yourself – but remember to pay attention joyful and pleasant emotions too! • One of this week’s homework activities is to record the number of times you do this throughout the week so that you practice recognising, labelling and describing your emotions Recognising Your Emotions

17. As we progress on this course, it’s possible that you are starting to think more, or even realise for the first time, how your emotions influence your behaviours and thoughts Emotions & Your Behaviours

18. Emotions & Your Behaviours Let’s work through an example…

19. People with overwhelming emotions often do self-destructive things when they feel angry, depressed or anxious, such as cutting, drinking excessively, using drugs, overeating or breaking something • These types of behaviours are harmful for everyone who is involved. Yet people still do them • Often this is because the behaviour is rewarded Why do people go to work? Why do people go to university? Why do people compete in sports? Why do people plant flowers? • If the rewards were no longer there, you probably wouldn’t keep doing it Understanding Repeat Behaviours

20. Emotions can serve as rewards that reinforce your behaviour A friend asks you to help them book a hotel. You help and the friend is really grateful and says what a fantastic friend you are and how much they appreciate you which makes you feel happy. So next time the friend asks you for a favour, you are happy to help again because you know it will make you feel good again. Understanding Repeat Behaviours

21. The BasicsTeresa’s Experience Emotion or thought “I feel sad” BehaviourShe starts a fight with her husband Behaviour is rewarded Her husband recognises how she feels Behaviour is repeated There are more fights in future Understanding Repeat Behaviours

22. This week, we are also going to look at challenging your thoughts using alternative ways of looking at things in a Thought Record Rethinking the Behaviour Cycle

23. Homework: Emotional Record Thought Record

24. Course Overview

25. Humber Recovery College Humber Recovery College Well Done! You’ve completed Session 6!Next Week: Session 7: Advanced Emotion Regulation Skills