Supportive Conversation A workshop for All teaching staff Developed by Dr Ray Bale
#1 Conversation Land Mines #2 Conversation Hotspots #3 The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others #4 The Questioner’s Framework #5 Effective Delegation 5 Conversation Tools
Text Voice Physical Behaviours Purpose A Conversation Face Location Conversation Partner Seeing Human Nature Hearing
The Map is not the Territory • Conversation is: • Highly interactive • - Has many components • Is holistic • Conversation is a skill • It requires practise • - We move through the learning cycle • - When it’s second nature • It’s a very powerful tool A Conversation can only be effective If you have a clear purpose
Conversation Landmines 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
Conversation Landmine 8 The Destructive Power of ‘Why?’
9 Conversation Landmine ‘Calm down’ or ‘Be reasonable’ ( Give him or her a pen and paper and say: ‘Write it down.’)
Conversation Landmine 10 ‘Because those are the rules.’
11 Conversation Landmine ‘You never . . .’ or ‘You always . .’
12 Conversation Landmine ‘Why can’t you be reasonable’
Conversation Landmine 13 Ego-statements.
14 Conversation Landmine Suggesting improvements
Conversation Landmine 15 Waiting to pounce
Conversation Landmine 16 Looking or thinking elsewhere
Conversation Hot Spots 17 18 22 19 21 20
17 Conversation Hotspot Reciprocation
Conversation Hotspot 18 Commitment and Consistency
Conversation Hotspot 19 Social Truth
20 Conversation Hotspot Liking and being liked
Conversation Hotspot 21 Expertise and authority
22 Conversation Hotspot Scarcity
23 Conversation Tool # 3 ‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’ what is happening on the other side of the conversation? Human Nature Motivation to act. Fear Desire Indicators Body Voice Face
24 Conversation Tool # 3 ‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’ How are we perceived in a conversation? Professional relationship Social Relationship Expectations Location Body Voice Face Text
25 Conversation Tool # 3 ‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’ How do we understand the factors driving the conversation partner’s behaviour? Empathy Sympathyis an emotion. Empathyis a tool Empathyuses emotionandreason to understand
Empathy in Action Income Family Aspirations Home Town Extended family Beliefs Traditions Group Food Environment Drink Social truths Sleep Culture Siblings Personal History Friends Empathy Post-School Prospects External Support
26 Conversation Tool # 3 ‘ ‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’ What are conditional responses? What do they look, sound, feel like? What is said and what is actually happening are not always the same……. Eyes Face Posture Voice Direction Breathing Trust your non-conscious perception
27 Conversation Tool # 3 ‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’ How clear are you on the purpose of the conversation before you commence talking? What is your goal? When do you want it to happen? How will you monitor progress? Have you rehearsed the conversation?
28 Conversation Tools # 4 ‘ The Questioner’s Framework’ Objective Questions Data questions. Examples: ‘What time did this happen?’ ‘Who was present?’ ‘What was said?’ ‘Where were people standing? ‘Who spoke first?’ ‘Where was…..?’ Specific Open-ended Common ground based on common information
29 Conversation Tools N# 4‘ The Questioner’s Framework’ Reflective Questions Feelings Perceptions Internal responses Valid. Nothing to do with facts. Establishing rapport Examples: ‘What did it remind you of?’ ‘How does it make you feel?’ ‘Where did you struggle with this?’ ‘What surprised you about it? ‘How did you feel when you found out? ‘What do you remember about…?’ ‘’What reason did you have for …?’
30 Conversation Tools N# 4‘ The Questioner’s Framework’ Interpretive Questions Brings together Objective, Reflective and Third Party information. Examples: ‘What does this mean for the future?’ ‘How will this affect your relations with…?’ ‘If nothing is done, what will happen?’ ‘What do others think and feel about this?’ ‘What have we learned about the impact this has on . . .?’ ‘What would you change if you could?’ Impact on others Thoughts and feelings of others Expectations from others What will happen if nothing changes?
31 Conversation Tools # 4‘ The Questioner’s Framework’ Action Questions What to do. Examples: ‘What can you do about this in the future?’ ‘What can you do to change things?’ ‘What do you want to see happen?’ ‘What help/support do you need to do this?’ ‘What new information/knowledge do you need to move forward?’ Choice is vital. Three options minimum. Actor must formulate choices.
32 Conversation Tools # 4‘ The Questioner’s Framework’ Decisional Questions. Ownership of the future action Examples: ‘Which is the best course of action?’ ‘What is the first step in implementing this course of action?’ ‘What does the course of action require you to do?’ ‘When will you begin to do that? ‘How will you/I know you are succeeding? Commitment Responsibility Necessity for a timeline Review
33 Conversation Tools # 4‘ The Questioner’s Framework’ Practice Conversation: ‘The Staff Bully’
34 Conversation Tools # 4‘ The Questioner’s Framework’ Practice Conversation: ‘The Aggressive Parent’
35 Conversation Tools # 4 ‘ The Questioner’s Framework’ Questions and Discussion
37 Conversation Tool # 5‘Effective Delegation’ What are our alternatives And how do they compare? Why delegate? What is delegation? Output Strategies Hours Out Hours In Value of strategy. 1 Do it yourself 1 Only for highly sensitive or life-changing tasks Assign to other(s) Depends on training req. Depends on no. of repetitions Best practice for regular and routine work Varies with level of delegation Multiples of delegation input time Delegate Most productive way to achieve high levels of commitment, responsibility taking and output.
38 Conversation Tool # 5‘Effective Delegation’ Key Points of Delegation Practice. • 1] The goal of delegation is threefold: • Effective use of resources. • - Staff Development • - Effective use of time 2] Delegate according to skill level, Knowledge and experience of Delegatee. 3] Analyze situation in terms of importance of task and existing skills, knowledge and experience levels of staff.
39 Conversation Tool # 5‘Effective Delegation’ The Four Levels of Delegation Level Type of delegation, support, praise and redirect Delegatee • Instructing – tell, show, model • Frequent monitoring and meeting, check carefully • Oversight of decision making and implementation • High level of support. Praise satisfactory progress • at incremental achievement level. Redirect as • needed Beginner -enthusiastic -energetic -inexperienced Level 1. Level 2. • Coaching - show, model • monitoring, check task achievement • - Oversight of major decisions • - High level of support, frequent meetings • - Praise progress and incremental outcomes. • Redirect as needed. Experienced person moving into new area of responsibility
Conversation Tool # 5 ‘Effective Delegation’ 40 The Four Levels of Delegation Level Type of delegation, support, praise and redirect Delegatee Beginning executive Experienced person in familiar area of responsibility Level 3 • Assisting – show, model • Less frequent monitoring, observe that task is • being done. • - Discussion of major decisions • - Regular meetings as needed • - Expectation of success • - Praise progress and stage outcomes. Redirect • as needed. Highly competent. experienced and committed person Level 4. • Delegating – learning with • Discuss requirements of task, accept suggestions • - Informal monitoring • - all decisions made by delegatee • - praise outcomes and progress • - no need for redirect
41 Conversation Tool # 5‘Effective Delegation’ Two Illustrations Why Levels of Delegation Are Useful. Low Support Level 3. Level 4. Level 2. Effectiveness Incline Chart High Support Level 1. Directing Delegating
42 Conversation Tool # 5‘Effective Delegation’ Competence and Commitment Chart Level 4.Delegatee High Delegatee Profile C O M P E T E N C E Level 3 Delegatee Level 2 Delegatee Level 1 Delegatee Low Low High COMMITMENT
43 Conversation Tool # 5‘Effective Delegation’ Practise: Planning the Delegation Process.
Questions and Discussion
That’s All Folks! Ray Bale Altus Quality Coaching 0427 311 112 (02) 63729991