How to stop pleasing people

1. How to stop pleasing people and focus on yourself? Are you a people pleaser who does things to make others happy? Are you someone who always puts others first and finds the act of putting yourself before others selfish? If you are in the habit of making others happy because you do not want to disappoint others, it is something you should stop doing. But it is easier said than done! So let us figure out how to stop being a people pleaser. What is people-pleasing? People-pleasing is the habit of putting others first always by overlooking your own needs. And when you do so, you come across as someone nice, docile, agreeable and yes-man. People-pleasers find it difficult to say no and often end up neglecting their own needs. What happens when you are doing too much of people-pleasing? Being nice and kind is always a quality to be cherished. But when you often ignore your own interests, mental well-being and peace of mind by saying yes to people when you want to say no, it is a matter to worry about. It is a kind of self-neglect. After all, you have your relationship with yourself first that you are ignoring. And when you ignore yourself just to put others first, you end up stressed and burnt out. Also, always prioritising others first over your own needs is a strong sign that you are in a habit of devaluing yourself. It is a strong sign that you are being true to yourself. And no one wants that. It is always good to stay true to your inner self. And doing so is very easy. All you need to do is put yourself first and start saying no. It is not selfish or not against anyone. But it is something that you are doing to keep your mental health in check and keep your sanity intact. Why are the causes you are into people-pleasing? Many people are into people-pleasing but they do not know if they are doing it. Some people, in fact, enjoy people pleasing and derive some pleasure and security out of it. But what are the reasons people are into people pleasing? 1.When people do not value their own needs and wants or even desires they put others first. It is because they have poor self-esteem. So if you see the act of putting yourself before others as selfish, it is not. It is your poor self-esteem. 2.Many times people always say yes, as they are insecure that others will not like them or break their relationship with them if they start to say no. And it is nothing but their insecurities. 3.Sometimes people find it difficult to say no or deny any help as they think they won't be accepted by society. Also, people are raised to believe that they are bound to help people regardless of anything. So, they indulge in people-pleasing. So how to stop being a people pleaser? 1.Establish clear cut boundaries: It is best to know what you want and what you do not want and then draw a clear fence around those wants. It means you clearly communicate to people, about what you are okay with and what you are not. You can

2. tell others when you are available and when you are not when you can take calls and when you cannot, and when you can help and when you cannot. 2.Start to say small no’s: The first thing to break this loop of people-pleasing is to start to say small nos. And once you start small, you learn to say no in a big way. 3.Focus on yourself: When you put all your focus on yourself, you tend to reject all the things that defocus you from focusing on your well-being. So it is always important to focus on yourself and do things you feel are important to you. 4.Set your goals: When you set your goals and work towards them, you tend to focus on essentials and eliminate non-essentials. So, when people suck up your energy with unnecessary requests and demands, you evaluate them in the light of your goals. And when you do so, you learn to turn down requests and break this habit of people- pleasing. 5.Take some time: When someone approaches you with some demand, you should not immediately commit to it or say yes. Because when you do so you may regret it later. So, it is better to take up some time and think before you commit to something you are not sure about. When someone approaches you for some help, you should tell them that you need to think and then get back to them with your yes or no. Whatever you will say after thinking will be your decision and prevent you from unnecessary people-pleasing.