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Attraction & Close Relationships: Lecture #10 topics . The initial attraction familiarity, physical attraction, mate selection Close relationships types of relationships, types of love (bleh). The initial attraction . BUILDING FAMILIARITY the \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ effect

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attraction close relationships lecture 10 topics
Attraction & Close Relationships:Lecture #10 topics
  • The initial attraction
    • familiarity, physical attraction, mate selection
  • Close relationships
    • types of relationships, types of love (bleh)
the initial attraction
The initial attraction

BUILDING FAMILIARITY

  • the _______ effect
    • we’re more likely to befriend, date, & marry people who live close to us
  • the _______ _______ effect
    • the more often we’re exposed to something, the more _______ we evaluate it
    • occurs with novel stimuli (e.g., foreign words, faces)
the initial attraction3
The initial attraction

PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS

The Dove Campaign for Beauty

the initial attraction4
The initial attraction

PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS

  • we’re biased toward the beautiful:
    • attractive students are perceived to be smarter & more likely to succeed in school
    • Texan judges give lower fines to attractive criminals
    • beautiful people get paid higher wages
the initial attraction5
The initial attraction

WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?

the initial attraction6
The initial attraction

WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?

the initial attraction7
The initial attraction

WHAT IS “BEAUTY”?

the initial attraction8
The initial attraction

IS BEAUTY OBJECTIVE?

  • high _______ _______ on ratings of attractiveness:
    • universally, men prefer “_______” physique in women; women prefer _______ men with “_______” shape
  • _______ is beautiful:
    • _______ faces are attractive because they’re _______
    • we seek facial _______ (sign of fitness & fertility)
the initial attraction9
The real ShannenThe initial attraction

Shannen Doherty: An example of facial symmetry

Shannen, digitally enhanced

the initial attraction12
The initial attraction

IS BEAUTY OBJECTIVE?

  • babies prefer _______ faces:
    • stare _______ at faces rated by adults as being attractive
the initial attraction13
The initial attraction

IS BEAUTY SUBJECTIVE?

  • _______ _______ in body adornment:
    • scarification, piercing, tooth filing, tattooing are not practised universally
  • we have different _______ body sizes:
    • where food is scarce, _______ women are more attractive
  • beauty _______ change over time:
    • models today are _______ than before
the initial attraction14
Eva Herzigova, 2001

35-23-35 (5’11”)

The initial attraction

Marilyn Monroe, 1953

35-22-35 (5’5”)

the initial attraction15
The initial attraction

IS BEAUTY SUBJECTIVE?

  • judgments of beauty change with the _______:
    • people become more beautiful if we _______ them
    • men see their wives as _______ attractive after viewing _______ models
    • we feel less attractive after viewing models
the initial attraction16
The initial attraction

WHY ARE WE BLINDED BY BEAUTY?

  • beautiful people are _______ pleasing
  • ______________ stereotype
    • the belief that attractive people also have other _______ qualities
    • attractive people do have more friends & better social skills but don’t score higher on _______ tests of intelligence, personality, or self-esteem
the initial attraction17
The initial attraction

we like others who like us:

  • _______
    • when someone likes us, we’ll tend to like them back
    • sometimes, we like people more if we have to _______ their affection

we like people who are “_______”:

  • social _______
    • e.g., “The Rules”: men are more charmed by hard-to-get women
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The initial attraction

_______

  • when your parents forbid you to date Bill, you _______ your freedom to date who you want
  • consequence: you want to date Bill even more
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The initial attraction

MATE SELECTION

Buss (2003):

  • women seek _______, _______ stable men
    • women are _______ in # of offspring they can have; thus, they seek men with _______ to support their offspring
  • men seek _______, _______, _______ women
    • although sperm is cheap, men are restricted by their ability to attract fertile partners & to ensure _______ of offspring
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Marriage #1

Marriage #2

Marriage #3

Age difference:

3 years

Age difference:

17 years

Age difference:

28 years

The initial attraction
close relationships
Close relationships

ATTACHMENT STYLES

  • _______ attached babies
    • _______ when Mom leaves; _______ when she returns
  • _______ attached babies
    • _______: cry when Mom leaves; mad when she returns
    • _______: no reaction when Mom leaves/ returns
  • _______ attachment styles influence our _______ romantic attachment styles
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Close relationships

Description

Attachment Style

% of population

I find it relatively easy to get close to others & am comfortable depending on them & having them depend on me. I don’t often worry about getting abandoned/ about someone getting to close to me.

close relationships23
Close relationships

Description

Attachment Style

% of population

I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely & to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, & often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.

close relationships24
Close relationships

Description

Attachment Style

% of population

I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me/ won’t want to stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, & this desire sometimes scares people away.

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Close relationships

SECURE

AVOIDANT

ANXIOUS

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Close relationships

LEE (1988): Different love styles

  • _______ love styles
    • _______(erotic love)
    • _______(game-playing, uncommitted love)
    • _______(friendship love)
  • _______ love styles
    • _______(demanding, possessive love)
    • _______(practical love)
    • _______(other-oriented, altruistic love)
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Close relationships

STERNBERG (1986): Triangular theory of love

3 components to love:

  • _______
    • _______ component; liking & feelings of closeness
  • _______
    • _______ component; attraction, romance, sexual desire
  • _______
    • _______ component; decision to commit to long-term partner
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INTIMACY

Liking

(intimacy alone)

Romantic Love

(intimacy + passion)

Companionate Love

(intimacy + commitment)

CONSUMMATE LOVE

(intimacy + passion + commitment)

PASSION

COMMITMENT

Infatuation

(passion alone)

Empty Love

(commitment alone)

Fatuous Love

(passion + commitment)

Close relationships
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Close relationships

HATFIELD (1988)

_______ love:

  • intensely _______; complete absorption in one’s partner
  • according to Schachter’s ______________, passionate love requires:
    • _______ arousal
    • belief that _______ triggered this arousal
    • e.g., Dutton & Aron’s (1974) “Capilano bridge” study
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Close relationships

HATFIELD (1988)

companionate love:

  • less intense
  • more _______
  • _______, longer lasting
  • built on _______, caring, & long-term _______
  • _______ over time
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