Irregular Periods (And Toxic Dates), Explained

1. IrregularPeriods(And ToxicDates),Explained Onethingthat’sabsolutelyindispensableto lifeisconsistency.:) Whether you’re working out,trying todate,or gettingyour period;consistency helpsthings happen withoutinterruption.Naturally,thus,whenconsistency is interrupted,thereare repercussions… NormalPeriodCycles For most human females, the menstrual cycle or period bleeding lasts anywhere between 24 and 38 days. Bats, meanwhile, have period cycles that are between 21 and 27 days long; while the tiny jumping elephant shrew has a cycle that lasts 13 to 18 weeks. Facts, that may or may not be your next conversationopeneronBumble. Gettingback tothe topiconhand,though,apartfromtrying 17pimple creams,feelingpretty horny and hatingyour vagina,periodbleedingusuallyconsistsoftwoprocesses called menstruation andovulation. Howdothesework?Simple: Just like English Regency era-mothers (in Bidgerton) wanted their girls to get married to the best man available, the ovary wants each of its eggs to get fertilized by the healthiest, most potent, most virile sperm possible. Thus, every ovulation cycle, an egg leaves the safety of the ovary, travels down the fallopian tube and waits for her Duke or Viscount Sperm at the Uterine Ball wall. If such a liaison fails, the daughter remains a spinster while the egganditssurroundingendometrialliningare destroyed and shed—resulting inperiodbleeding,oramenstrual period. This great ovarian waltz usually works like clockwork, with each period lasting between 2 to 7 days. However, sometimes issues in the environment (or a Lady Whistledown) can cause this process to functionalittleless perfectly—resulting inthe hellishphasecalledirregularperiods. Alexa,define‘irregular’? Depending on whether you’ve ever lived with a male sibling or in a hostel, the words ‘less perfect’ may mean different things. Issues in the period cycle, just like your online boys, usually express themselves in setpatterns. Yousimplyhavetoknowwhattowatch outfor. Here’salist: The time between each period, like his texts, begins to change. This time it’s 28 days, next month it’s 45, thensuddenlyyou’redownonDay17. You losemoreor lessblood thanusual,leavingyou tense and exhausted,justlike whatyou feelbecause ofhisconstantgames.(Importanttonote:Unnaturallyheavybleedingiscalledmenorrhagia.Read aboutithere.) The number of days that your period lasts for changes too, just like the quality of his excuses for why he can’tmeetyou.

2. And, you begin to experience bleeding or spotting, which seems out of place, exactly like how you feel becausehehasn’tintroducedanyofhisfriendstoyou. The solution? Forget the guy and book yourself a gynaecologist appointment. Irregular periods, menorrhagia and heartbreak are usually accompanied by headaches, breakouts, disturbed sleep patterns, breast soreness, mood swings, bloating, back stiffness or loose stools—and that’s too many redflagstobeanything good. MagarKYUNN??? Whileglimpsingintotheabyss andwondering why theLordShriGenetics Bhagwanblessedyou witha sluggishmetabolismmay nothelp,understanding why you’re datingoneof‘those guys’or experiencing irregularperiodsmay. While we’ll let you and your besties arrive at reasons for the first, the most common reason for the second(thankstothecinema),is thoughttobe pregnancy. Unsafe sex or the failure ofcontraception can take you straight from Happy Valentine’s Day to Happy Mother’s Day, but that is not always the reason. Irregularperiods,more often thannot,area symptomof a larger issue andmay alsobe causedby: Hormonalbirth controlpillsorintrauterine devicescan changeyourcycleorincreasetheamountof bleeding. Breastfeeding, which is triggered by a hormone called prolactin that suppresses the hormones that triggeryourperiodcycles. Polycystic ovarian syndrome, or PCOS a lifestyle disorder that results in eggs not being released properly fromtheovary. Thyroidproblems Uterine fibroids, which are small tumors that develop inside the uterus and interfere with its functioning Endometriosis,aconditioninwhichthe tissuethatlines youruterusgrowsoutsideit Beingoverweight,underweight orsufferingthrough eatingdisorders Stressandsmoking Orevenexcessive exercise,whichcaninterfere withthe productionof thehormonesthattrigger menstruation. ShouldIbeworried? Chances are if you’re the kind of person who worries, you’ve already picked up your phone to WhatsApp someone, “DUDE, remember my irregular periods? I think I have…” Whether you have or haven’t, please take adeepbreath,calmdown andunderstandthatirregularperiods couldbe a symptomof alarger issue such as menorrhagia or PCOS—which is why it is important for you to go immediately and get a diagnosisforwhatyou’regoing through.

3. Just like it is important for you to stalk your new crush online and gather information, it’s important for youtowatchyour periodandrecordits whereabouts,too.Downloada useful period-tracking appand note the duration and frequency of each period; days in which you experience spotting, cramps or pain; and how often you witness irregularities. This data will be a valuable source of information, especially whilediagnosing PCOSormenorrhagia. It’s also a good idea for you to equip yourself with a good cotton pad for your periods. RIO heavy flow padsare cottonysoft,super absorbentandbuilttohelpthosePCOS,menorrhagia orendometriosis. “What we call chaos is just patterns we haven’t recognized,” said Chuck Palahniuk, author of the Fight Club. So,gurl,whetheritsirregularperiodsor Tinderboys,gofindthem!