Music : Summer Place ─ Andy Williams

1. 翻編‧配樂：老編西歪 為什麼我喜歡退休 Why I like retirement Music: Summer Place ─ Andy Williams

3. 問：一星期有多少天？Q : How many days in a week? • 答： 6個星期六， 1個星期天 A :  6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

4. 問：退休人員何時上床睡覺？Q : When is a retiree's bedtime? • 答：躺在長沙發打盹三個小時之後。 A : Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

5. 問：換一個電燈泡須要多少退休人員？Q : How many retirees to change a light bulb? • 答：只要一個人，但是可能要花一整天時間。 A : Only one, but it might take all day.

6. 問：什麼是退休人員最大的牢騷？Q : What's the biggest gripe of retirees ? • 答：每件事情都沒有足够時間去完成. A : There is not enough time to get everything done.

8. 問：為什麼退休人員不介意叫他老人？Q : Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? • 答：因為可以享受公車免費、航空機票半價 、捷運四折及免繳健保費。 A : The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

9. 問：退休人員怎樣才被認為是服裝整齊？Q : Among retirees what is considered formal attire ? • 答：鞋帶已經綁好。 A : Tied shoes.

10. 問：為什麼退休人員老是在數零錢？Q : Why do retirees count pennies • 答：這是他們唯一有時間做的事情。 A : They are the only ones who have the time.

11. 問：怎麼稱呼喜歡工作而拒絕退休的人？Q : What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire ? • 答：瘋子! A : NUTS !

12. 問： 為什麼退休人員不急於清理地室、 頂樓或車庫？Q : Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage ? • 答： 他們知道，當他們清理之後，他們的 孩子會將物件堆放在那裡。 A : They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

13. 問：退休人員對於冗長的午餐看法怎樣？Q : What do retirees call a long lunch? • 答：這是正常不過的事。 A : Normal.

15. 問： 什麼是描述退休的最佳方式？Q : What is the best way to describe retirement? • 答：整天都是泡茶休閒時間。 A : The never ending Coffee Break

16. 問：退休人員回到學校進修的最大的好 處是什麼？Q : What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? • 答： 如果您逃學，不會有人通知您父母。 A : If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

18. 問：為什麼退休人員經常說他沒有錯過工 作，但錯過曾經與他一起工作的人？Q : Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? • 答：他太謙虛了，所以無法說出整個真相。 A : He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

19. 問：您整個星期都在做什麼？Q : What do you do all week? • 答：星期一到星期五什麼也沒做，星期六及 星期天休息。 A : Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.

21. 您覺得退休如何？ • 將這篇分享給您知道的退休人員。 • 我肯定他們會認同其中某些項目 ! • 如果您尚未退休，您也必須瞭解退休後的一些情況。 • Share this one with all the retirees that you know. • I'm sure they can relate to some of them! • AND, If you have not yet retired, look what you have to look forward to.

23. 幸福是去旅遊，不只是抵達目的地， • 沒有比現在更愉快的了....... 活著並享受此刻美好時光。 • Happiness is a voyage, not a destination, • there is no better time to be happy thanNOW ....... Live and enjoy the moment.

24. The End