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NEWS WRITING II

NEWS WRITING II. Back to Basics 25 October 2010. Back to basics … Assignment feedback. In general, this assignment was very poorly done Highest mark – 70% (plus three people in the 60s) Lowest mark – 42% Average – 52% Way forward

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NEWS WRITING II

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  1. NEWS WRITING II Back to Basics 25 October 2010

  2. Back to basics…Assignment feedback • In general, this assignment was very poorly done • Highest mark – 70% (plus three people in the 60s) • Lowest mark – 42% • Average – 52% • Way forward • We’re going to go through the common mistakes that we’re being made • We already looked at intros and angles last week, but there some very silly mistakes that were made. It was obvious you didn’t take this assignment seriously…

  3. Back to basics…Assignment feedback • Who is this? • What is he famous for? • He is the inspiration for today’s lesson…

  4. Back to basics…Assignment feedback • Mokaba’s statement was so effective because it was simple • There was no need to it to be explained • There was no ambiguity • It conveyed thought in the best possible way • Your assignments were, in most cases, the exact opposite • Tried to be unnecessarily clever and complicated – as if you were trying to impress someone… • In a lot of cases, the wrong words were used • Why use a “big” word? You clearly didn’t understand it, so why assume your reader will? • Over-complicated your sentences, trying to put too much information into them. • What’s wrong with just using a full stop and then starting a new sentence? • Paragraph structure was atrocious. • KISS • Keep It Simple, Stupid

  5. Back to basics…Assignment feedback – let’s start at the beginning • Intro and angle • Discussed at length last week and you all knew what made a good intro – so why did I get such few good intros? • They were too long. Too boring. Written in the passive tense. Contained none of the important information. In general, they were shocking. • There were some good ones, though. Here’s the best one: • A suspected feud between two families in Mphophomeni informal settlement outside Howick in the KwaZulu-natal Midlands has left atleast two men shot dead and five people severely injured. • Most of the intros were more than one sentence • Intros are NEVER more than one sentence in a basic news story. EVER. • The angles were missing completely • Why did NO ONE start with the grieving mother? Surely the mother crying on the scene of her sons’ murders was the most important thing here?

  6. Back to basics…Assignment feedback – let’s start at the beginning • Suggested intro: • Ntombi Makhanya wept on the steps of her home in the Mphophomeni township outside Howick on Sunday morning, just hours after her two sons were killed in an apparent gang attack. • Brothers Nathi and Agiza Makhanya were apparently at the two-bedroom house late on Saturday night when a group of unknown men stormed in. Police said that guns, pangas and possibly other weapons were used in the attack, which left the two men dead and five other family members seriously injured.

  7. Back to basics…Assignment feedback – structure • Story structure is so important - and something most of you got wrong • Here’s the structure most of you chose: • Wicks  Vince  Mom • Somebody tell me why… • Decide what information is important and put that higher up • If you don’t interest your readers, they’ll just move on • Sometimes the last person you speak to will be the one who gives you the best information • Don’t be closed-minded; consider all your information before making a decision • Should have gone • Mom (emotion)  Vince (what happened)  Wicks (injuries)  Mom (how she was affected)  Vince (police to investigate)

  8. Back to basics…Assignment feedback – structure • Going on from that, let’s look at paragraph and sentence structure • And here we use Mr Mokaba’s theory again • Paragraphs • Have you ever read a news story with only one paragraph? NO! Then why did so many people decide to give me virtually no paragraphs? • Paragraphs are fundamentally important to your story structure • Move smoothly through the story • Break up thoughts and allow for transitions • Mokaba said “One Settler, One Bullet” • We change this slightly: “One paragraph, one thought” • Sentence structure • Same as paragraphs, sentence structure is vital • Needs to be strong thought-flow – you are all guilty of over-loading your sentences • One thought, one sentence. If you believe you need to use more information in that sentence, you can use a comma and put a second thought in – BUT THAT IS ALL!

  9. Back to basics…Assignment feedback – structure • Sentence structure…continued • How do you know that you’ve over-written your sentence? • There’s a dead giveaway – there are more than two commas. • If “but” and “and” are repeated • If you read it out loud and it doesn’t make sense (like this example) • Order your sentence properly • English is not an easy language, but the one thing that is easy is the structure • SUBJECT  ACTION  OBJECT • Matthew  ate  toast • Please write in this active tense as much as you possibly can

  10. Back to basics…Assignment feedback – which punctuation goes where? • Punctuation probs are symptoms of poor sentences • The longer the sentence, the more punctuation you have to use, the more likely you are to get it wrong • So – AGAIN – keep it simple • Quotes – where do the marks go? • SAPF spokesman Lieutenant Colonel Vincent Mdunge said the man was shot execution-style in the back of the head. • In a complete quote: SAPF spokesman Lieutenant Colonel Vincent Mdunge said:“The man was shot execution-style in the back of the head.” • In a part-quote: SAPF spokesman Lieutenant Colonel Vincent Mdunge said the man was shot “execution-style in the back of the head”.

  11. Back to basics…Assignment feedback – which punctuation goes where? • Commas • Are only used for a few reasons: • (1) List items in a sentence – Mdunge said the gang used pangas, sticks, hand-held pistols and other home-made weapons to inflict injuries on the family members. • (2) For explanation purposes – The attack, which took place late on Saturday night, left two people dead and five injured. (in this case you can also use the hyphen [or dash]) • (3) To link two thoughts together that can’t be separated - Ntombi Makhanya wept on the steps of her home in the Mphophomeni township outside Howick on Sunday morning, just hours after her two sons were killed in an apparent gang attack. (without the info after the comma we wouldn’t know why she was weeping – so it must be there)

  12. Back to basics…Assignment feedback – Accuracy & attribution • One error in a story makes the ENTIRE story unbelievable - agree/disagree?

  13. Back to basics…Assignment feedback – Accuracy & attribution • Basic premise is this: • If you can’t get things like names right, how can you be trusted with the technicalities? • Here are the things you guys got most wrong: • Netcare / Netcare 911 • Name of our province • Our police service – and the ranks that go with them • Case / cases / docket • There are absolutely basic – how could so many of you have gotten them wrong?

  14. Back to basics…Assignment feedback – Accuracy & attribution • Attribution is so important • Here’s the assumption: if you haven’t attributed it to anyone, then you have said it yourself • You can get away with it in the intro and – maybe – in the second paragraph, but you must attribute the information to someone • You’ll see a lot of “who said?” in your assignments. This is where you should have attributed. • Attribute to the right people • Paramedics can only comment on certain things –such as? • Police are the ones who talk about the crime, what happened, what is going to happen, etc. That’s there job. • Don’t allow speculation or assumption to creep into your story. Attribute all information to the right people

  15. Back to basics…Assignment feedback – Accuracy & attribution • Editorialising • Someone define what you understand by this…

  16. Back to basics…Assignment feedback – Accuracy & attribution • Editorialising is when you put in your own opinion/interpretation without it being backed up by any of the sources in your story • For e.g. in our assignment loads of you described the attack as brutal, horrific, terrible, etc. But none of the sources said this. • You have to let the words you choose to tell the story • Explain the scene, describe the emotions of those involved, but don’t use words that your sources didn’t • And don’t be obvious, either • Saying the mom was sad is stupid – of course she was! But you can say she sat stunned, crying into her dead son’s T-shirt • Let your words and descriptions direct your readers

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