HARASSMENT, INTIMIDATION, AND BULLYING (HIB)

1. HARASSMENT, INTIMIDATION, AND BULLYING(HIB) Outline of the NJ Anti-bullying Bill of Rights Ramsey School District

2. Breaking down the definition of H.I.B.: Harassment, intimidation or bullying means: • WHAT? • any gesture, any written, verbal or physical act, or any electronic communication • HOW OFTEN? • whether it be by a single incident or series of incidents • MOTIVATED BY WHAT? • that is reasonably perceived as being motivated either by any actual or perceived characteristic,

3. Breaking down the definition of H.I.B. continued: • BASED ON WHAT CHARACTERISTICS? • such as race, color, religion, ancestry, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity and expression, or a mental, physical or sensory disability, or by any other distinguishing characteristic • WHERE & WHEN? • that takes place on school property, at any school-sponsored function or on a school bus or off school grounds • THAT DOES WHAT? • that substantially disrupts or interferes with the orderly operation of the school or the rights of other students and that:

4. Meets 1 of the 4 additional criteria: • A reasonable person should know, under the circumstances, will have the effect of physically or emotionally harming a student or damaging the student's property, or placing a student in reasonable fear of physical or emotional harm to his person or damage to his property; or • Has the effect of insulting or demeaning any student or group of students in such a way as to cause disruption in, or interference with, the orderly operation of the school; or • Creates a hostile educational environment at school for the student; or • Infringes on the rights of the student at school by interfering with a student’s education or by severely or pervasively causing physical or emotional harm to the student.

5. Difference Between Conflict and HIB Conflict • “Mutually” competitive or opposing action or engagement • Includes disagreements, arguments, or fights • A normal part of growing up and life • Equal power • Equal emotional reaction • Remorse-takes responsibility • Effort to solve the problem HIB • HIB is one-sided • One or more students are victims of one or more person’s aggression, as it applies to the HIB definition • The intent is to physically or emotionally harm someone • Imbalance of power • Strong emotional reaction from the victim; little or no reaction from the bully • No remorse- blames victim. • No effort to solve the problem. May deny there is a problem, may challenge by asking for specific examples of their behavior

6. A few points to make… • The intention of the law • Looking at the behavior, not labeling the student • Help students to understand the impact of their behaviors • Developmentally appropriate programs and activities throughout the district to address HIB

7. Dater School Programs Common Sense Media Digital Citizenship’s lessons co-taught by Guidance Counselor/ITC Teacher and Principal in fourth and fifth grade Topics Cyberbullying and Social Media for Fifth Grade Gender Stereotypes Effects of Altering Photos in Digital Media Protecting Privacy Online Safety

8. Character Education Monthly lessons on the Pillars of Character Fourth Grade: Class guidance lessons focus on common friendship issues for this age group as well as our Pillars of Character Fifth Grade: Lessons focus on digital citizenship, proactive decision making, and preparation for transition to middle school

9. Lunch Programs Small groups offered during lunch periods Girls Class Lunches or Girls Club Boys Class Lunches or Boys Club Games and activities to build self-esteem, social skills and friendship/team building

10. Handling Friendship Conflicts in a Positive Way My Secret Bully by Trudy Ludwig Trouble Talk by Trudy Ludwig Confessions of a Former Bully by Trudy Ludwig The responsibility for building and maintaining friendships requires support and guidance Upper elementary school students typically have an experience with conflict at some point It is tempting to want to fix problems by talking to another child’s parents or giving direct instruction to your child in a given situation These actions take away some of the responsibility from your child and thus some of the resiliency that is built by working through the problem themselves

11. For typical friendship conflicts: Be a supportive and caring listener when your child talks to you about the problem Don’t respond emotionally by making negative remarks about the other child or the other child’s parents Help your child brainstorm possible solutions and talk through what the possible outcomes might be Remind your child that being frustrated or sad about a friendship conflict is part of life, in the same way that the happiness and joy friendship brings is a part of life. This is important to maintaining perspective A break from a friendship that isn’t working is sometimes a necessary and positive solution. Some friendships wane as children get older. The focus should be on a positive solution for your child, not fixing a friendship that may not be a good fit for your child at the time. Remind your child that as they grow older, the friendship may “fit” again

12. Friendship Choices In fourth and fifth grade, it is important for your child to learn to make their own decisions about who they want to be friends with. A great question for parents to ask to support and guide their children as they make these decisions: “How do you feel when you are around this person?” Fourth and fifth graders develop resiliency for middle school by learning to make positive choices for themselves within their friendships.