The power of parents

1. The power of parents By Marianne Angelillo

2. Our Family

3. Matt was 17

4. Share My Stones

5. Consequence of No Consequences

6. When you drink you don’t think!

7. WISDOM • Stormie O’Martian…Power of a Praying Woman • ”Wisdom is essential to have a good life…wisdom means having clear understanding and insight. It’s discerning what is right and wrong …it’s having good judgment…. it’s being able to sense you are getting too close to the edge. It’s making the right choice or decision.

8. The hole….The empty bed…

9. I Blame Society • 6,000,000,000 Dollars Spent annually on alcohol advertising • 68,000,000,000 is what underage drinking cost society in 2007

10. UNDERAGE DRINKING COSTS • Youth Violence………………$43,835.8 • Youth Traffic Crashes………$10,019.3 • High-Risk Sex, Ages 14-20 …$4,871.3 • Youth Property Crime ........ $3,178.8 • Youth Injury………………..... $2,064.5 • Poisonings and Psychoses….. $416.2 • FAS Among Mothers 15-20….$1,227.3 • Youth Alcohol Treatment…..$2,400.3 • Total ………………………….$68,001.5

11. You Can’t Afford to be Clueless What we are up against! • Leading cause of death of teens is accidents many under the influence. • We are fighting a 6 Billion dollar alcohol advertising industry • Underground drug marketing campaign-”who is selling to your kids?” • Society Norm

12. Risk Factors • Age of first use (Almost half of youth who begin drinking before 14 later become alcohol dependent) • Predictor Drug is Tobacco! • Family history • Society Norm

13. 10 Beer Theory! • 3 will not have any • 5 will share 2 • 2 will drink 8….. What is risk? Two friends out of 10! Two family members out of 10!

14. Why Middle School?

15. From Manager to Consultant

16. Adolescent Alcohol Abuse? • 50% of 8th graders have had their first drink • Average age of first use is 12 • More than 67% of youth who drink before 15 will try an illicit drug. • 2/3 of teens report prescription drugs are easy to find at home and 1 in 5 use to get high. • Middle school use goes from 17% in 6th grade to 41% in 8th grade. Crucial time to educate both parent and student.

17. Underdeveloped Teenage Brain

18. Adolescent Brain • Circuits are all being remodeled in teenage years • Brain is highly plastic and shaped by experience • Binge drinking and withdrawal can affect brain long term -More brain damage following 4 day drinking binge in adolescents than adults -Repeated alcohol exposure alters way you respond to alcohol later in life -Alcohol impairs memory more in adolescents

19. Developmental AssetsProtective factors for youth • Parents are the key! • Number between 1 and 7! • Teen centers • Athletics/extra-curricular • School programs, such as SADD, ADAPEP, etc. • Youth Programs (Communities of Faith)

20. Skaneateles PACTOur Mission Statement • To work together as a community to help promote healthy attitudes and safe behavior relating to drugs and alcohol among the youth in our community and to promote programming based on the needs of the community.

21. Why Parent Coalitions? • Give credibility and a voice to parents • Can be a powerful force in Community • Athletic codes, youth groups, teen centers, etc • Interface with schools and law enforcement • It takes adults to help change social norms • Shared Advocacy with others(ie. Prev.Net.) • Provides parent education and involvement • Utilize Captive Audience • Power in numbers! Provides a Parent Network • Sponsors non-alcoholic functions • Ie. After the Ball parties

22. PACT Programs Speakers -Milton Creagh -Chris and Toren Volkmann-From Binge to Blackout -Dr. Ellen deLara-And Words Can Hurt Forever -Dr. Brad Reedy-Second Nature Wilderness -Local Speakers-Angelillo’s, Matt McGlynn -Chris DePerno-Integra

23. PACT Community Reads • Why They Act That Way? …A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen by David Walsh • And Word Can Hurt Forever….by Ellen deLara on bullying • From Binge to Blackout by Chris and Toren Volkmann

24. Liaison’s • Prevention Network • School task force-Drug and Alcohol • Police and Law Enforcement-Stopped Program • School faculty reps on our board • Youth Programs

25. How to get started? • Governing Board (we have 8) • Mission Statement • Get Parents involved • Identify key players in Community • School district • Existing parent groups • Libraries and service organizations • Business leaders • Law enforcement • Local Government officials • Existing prevention resources • Clergy • Financial backing

26. 501(c)(3) Requirementsnot for profit Articles of Organization Bylaws Employer Identification Number(supplied) Exempt from Federal Income Tax only Contributions are tax deductible Classified as public charity or private foundation Allows you to apply for grants

27. Keep the Faith • Start small… first do what seems manageable • Change doesn’t happen overnight but even a few changes can be encouraging • Challenging but necessary • Change parent attitudes by education and awareness • Celebrate your successes!

28. Ideas for Parent Education • Communication between parent and teen • The Adolescent Brain • Drug Education • Bullying • The Stopped Program (driving) • PrehabvsRehab(ChrisDePerno-Integra) • Milton Creagh’ Parent advice • Code of Conduct (athletic code) • Consequence of no Consequences

29. Communication is Key!Dr. Brad ReedySecond Nature Wilderness Therapy • Encourage child to share! Let them talk • Start at an early age to discuss important topics and to clearly state your expectations • Feelings are never right or wrong! • Ok to feel! Pain can be used to learn • Listen don’t fix, empathize don’t solve – listen more than you talk! • Validate feelings and use reflective listening • Be there more, not less, at your children get older

30. Overcome Parental Barriers • Shame keeps many from getting help • Many people feel it’s not relevant! I.e. Life jacket on a plane…(Not My Child!) • Many parents are not educated • Be clear and concise about your rules and expectations! • Ask for help when you need it; there are many sources of help in CNY

31. Football Field TheoryChris DePerno Integra

32. DARS 7 Steps • Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus • Vertical Gaze Nystagmus • Non-Convergence • Pulse • Romberg Balance • Pupillary Comparison • Pupillary reaction to light • BAC = 50-angle of onset

33. Drug Test? • My good friend would have done anything to change her daughter’s addiction!

34. Ways to Test • Blood • Urine • Breath • Hair • Eyes • Actions • Balance • Heart rate/pulse

35. Marijuana Test • Red eyes • Dilated pupils • Body tremors • Odor of burnt • Lt green stain on tongue • Relaxed inhibitions, talkative, laughing • Cooperative, carefree, apathetic, lazy Paraphernalia – rolling papers, bong, figure 8 blunt splitters, bud of plant

36. DRUGS? Illegal Drugs have no place in work society today and never will!!!!

37. One night of drinking wipes out two weeks of training!

38. Adults are Role Models!!! • Use concept of Designated Driver • Our kids will drink and drive if we do! • Our kids will expect that drinking is part of most social situations if we always have alcohol present for ourselves • Adolescents who know parents currently use marijuana or have used are at greater risk • They learn from us! • Remember that our children are always watching us and that our actions speak just as loudly (if not louder) than our words!

39. The Tipping Point • We used to smoke and clean ashtrays • We used to smoke in restaurants • There were no hosting laws • We used to drink and drive with kids in the car • We used to litter • We used to not care about graffiti • We used to say, “I did it when I was young and I am still here”! • Do we include alcohol in student functions?

40. You can tip the world!

41. JOB? CAREER? FUTURE? • Tell me about yourself.Tell me about your experience.What is your most important accomplishment to date?How would you describe your ideal job?Why did you choose this career?When did you decide on this career?What goals do you have in your career?How do you plan to achieve these goals?How do you personally define success?Describe a situation in which you were successful.What do you think it takes to be successful in this career?What accomplishments have given you the most satisfaction in your life?If you had to live your life over again, what one thing would you change?Would you rather work with information or with people?Are you a team player?What motivates you?Why should I hire you?Are you a goal-oriented person?Tell me about some of your recent goals and what you did to achieve them.What are your short-term goals?What is your long-range objective?What do you see yourself doing five years from now?Where do you want to become ten years from now?Do you handle conflict well?Have you ever had a conflict with a boss or professor? How did you resolve it?What major problem have you had to deal with recently?Do you handle pressure well?What is your greatest strength?What is your greatest weakness?If I were to ask one of your professors (or a boss) to describe you, what would he or she say?Why did you choose to attend your college?What changes would you make at your college?How has your education prepared you for your career?What were your favorite classes? Why?Do you enjoy doing independent research?Who were your favorite professors? Why?Why is your GPA not higher?Do you have any plans for further education?How much training do you think youll need to become a productive employee?What qualities do you feel a successful manager should have?Why do you want to work in the _____ industry?What do you know about our company?Why are you interested in our company?Do you have any location preferences?How familiar are you with the community that were located in?Are you willing to relocate? In the future?Are you willing to travel? How much?Is money important to you?How much money do you need to make to be happy?What kind of salary are you looking for? • If you had to live your life over what thing would you change?

42. Share your stones!