Dealing with  Difficult,  Demanding and Demeaning People

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Dealing with Difficult, Demanding and Demeaning People

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1. Dealing with Difficult, Demanding and Demeaning People Dorinda Harmon College of Charleston SACRAO 2011

2. Angering… Annoying… PIA…Disruptive… Embarrassing …Trying… Pushing Buttons …Miserable…Rude…Cruel… Hateful…Hostile…Mean… Unfair… Energy Zapper… Hurtful … Unbearable… Destructive …

3. Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you’ll be criticized anyway. Eleanor Roosevelt

4. Who Are These People and Where Do They Come From? Why Are They So Angry ? What Has Set Them Off ? Why Are They Taking It Out On Me ? How Can I Get Rid of Them ? Is this a Pattern or a One Time Happening ?

5. Who Are They? Parents Students Community

6. Why Do They Act Like This? Personality Traits Controllers Negatives Self Boosters Glory Seekers Revenge Their difficult life/work conflicts or situation

7. What Brings These Behaviors On? Parents Control, misplaced caring/fear Student Confusion, fear, pressure Community Misinformation, control, lack of resources for resolution of issues

8. Why Take It Out On Me? You are available Seen as someone who should be able to resolve it You get paid to resolve it Need to vent / control / boost Are you a victim, instigator ?

9. Calming an Angry Person Calm Down That’s Not My Fault You’re way out of line It you just hold on, I’ll transfer you to… yellow reference link # 1

10. Managing You Choose a Win-Win attitude Give “customers” your undivided attention Learn to handle criticism with class yellow reference link # 1

11. Getting Promoted: Real Strategies for Advancing Your Career Harry Chambers Depersonalize the criticism Assertively restate comments for clarification Seek guidance Process the input Review progress-seek follow-up

12. What Can I Do? Parents Listen Is there a reasonable issue ? Look for calm resolution Do not pass along without attempting to alleviate Use knowledge to avoid / improve future Call on the next level

13. What Can I Do? Students Listen Provide options and information Do not just hand off the problem Try to resolve the issues

14. What Can I Do? Community Listen Clarify the issue (s) Consider options and resources Put the issue, not yourself, as the focus Call in reinforcements

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