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The Holiday Season: Ups and Downs. Kate Moore. Ups and Downs – the Story of Life Are they more so during Times of change? Loss? Celebration? What about at Christmas? Over the summer holidays?. What is the Holiday Season for you?. Christ’s Birthday A celebration

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The Holiday Season: Ups and Downs

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The holiday season ups and downs

The Holiday Season:

Ups and Downs

Kate Moore


The holiday season ups and downs

Ups and Downs – the Story of Life

Are they more so during

  • Times of change?

  • Loss?

  • Celebration?

    What about at Christmas?

    Over the summer holidays?


What is the holiday season for you

What is the Holiday Season for you?

  • Christ’s Birthday

  • A celebration

  • A time of rest and catch up

  • An economic bonanza for the shops

  • A time for families and friends

  • A time to get away – to catch up/


What is the holiday season for you1

What is the Holiday Season for you?

  • A lonely and/or expensive time

  • A time of stress

  • Brings back sad memories

  • What is it for you?


What is the holiday season for you2

What is the Holiday Season for you?

  • Perhaps it’s a time for helping others

  • Being a volunteer / supporter

  • OR

  • Perhaps you need support?


Why is it like this

Why is it like this?

  • History – always been like this?

    • OKNot OK

      Why NOT?

      Only YOU can answer this


Why is it like this1

Why is it like this?

  • Circumstances changed?

    • OKNot OK

      Why NOT?

      Control? / Challenge? / Communication ?


For you not ok

For you – Not OK

Having identified why NOT?

Accommodate or Change?

How? To what? Stressor


So i don t like the change

So, I don’t like the change….

What DO I want 

  • Change – always difficult

    • Requires clear goal

    • Communication of that goal

    • Appropriate implementation of the goal

    • Preparedness to hang in there

    • Respect for self and others

      • In setting goals and

      • during the process  Stressful or Challenge


The two faces of stress not always negative yerkes dobson 1904 wood et al 1998

The Two Faces of Stress-Not always negative (Yerkes & Dobson, 1904; Wood et al., 1998)

Constructive stress (eustress)

  • stress that acts in a positive way for the individual, family and/or organisation

  • Low to moderate levels of stress act in a constructive or energising way

    Destructive stress (distress)

  • stress that acts in a dysfunctional way for the individual, family and/or the organisation

    Which will it be for you?


Cognitions coping control

Cognitions, Coping & Control

  • It is NOT the event but how we THINK about it that causes us the problem

  • Identify your thoughts

  • Challenge these

  • Change them!!!!!


Costs of bad cognitions depression anxiety and stress

Costs of Bad Cognitions Depression Anxiety and Stress

  • Physical factors

    • Increased risk of CVD

      • Raised BP, CHD, stroke

    • Unhealthy feelings - aches, pains, upset stomach

    • Restlessness, inability to concentrate, sleeplessness

    • Increased risk of accidents


Costs of bad stress cont d

Costs of Bad Stress(cont’d)

  • Psychological factors

    • Tense, uptight, feelings of nervousness, irritability

    • Loss of motivation

    • Burnout

      • emotional exhaustion, depersonalisation, lowered personal accomplishment

    • Depression, anxiety

    • Pre-existing psychological disorders exacerbated

    • Any others?


Costs of bad stress cont d1

Costs of Bad Stress(cont’d)

  • Behavioural factors

    • Change in eating habits

    • Increase of risky behaviours (e.g., alcohol, smoking, drug taking)

    • Increases in workplace conflict (e.g., aggression, harassment)


Impact of bad stress

Impact of Bad Stress

  • Physical and mental health

    • anxiety/sleep/appetite/CHD/ulcers

    • concentration/ruminations

    • angry/cranky/irritable

    • cynicism

  • Cognitions

    • castrophizing

    • black & white thinking

  • Relationships

    • communication problems

    • aggression

    • lack of engagement

  • Job/course satisfaction & performance

  • Absenteeism & loss of productivity

  • Drop out/Quit/Withdraw

  • and you ………………………………………..?


  • What am i doing about it

    What am I doing about it?

    • Identify the stressor

    • Decide why it is a stressor for me

    • Change my way of thinking about it

    • Ask the other person(s) to

      • change their approach

      • change the system

      • work with me to finish / alter the problem

    • Remain focused on the issue NOT the person

    • Ask: Is this issue worth the cost to me/others

    • Yes - see it as a challenge/goal not a demand or stressor


    Ideas around christmas shopping

    Ideas around Christmas shopping

    1)plan and shop with a list

    2) try making gifts/food

    3) set a limit on the cost of presents and meals

    4) leave your credit card at home when browsing for presents

    5) pool cost of presents / meals by one person : one present and bring a plate

    6) watch last minute spending


    Ideas before christmas day

    Ideas before Christmas Day

    • try to have a rest day before Christmas

      2) reduce your expectations about a "perfect " Christmas day

      3) organise parenting issues for the day well before so children OK

      4) try and sort out relationship issues before Christmas Day

      5) be flexible re changes to previous years' arrangements to suit family and friends

      6) be aware of issues which might arise – try to anticipate/handle


    Ideas for christmas day

    Ideas for Christmas Day

    1) share responsibility for the meal with all family not just the women

    2) watch alcohol intake - sometimes regret what was said

    3) do not bring up previous quarrels

    4) do not be too hard on yourself if everyone does not behaviour how you hoped.

    5) a cold lunch may reduce the stressors of cooking - family can come at various times

    6) have your meal in the evening so f&f can visit others during the day

    7) try and work out some positive thing about Aunt Maud rather than focus on the negative

    8) visit someone who may be lonely or ask them to a meal

    9) think about the real meaning of Christmas for you


    In general

    In general

    • Remember some things are not worth making a fuss about

    • Avoid digging up the past

    • Christmas may not be the best time to confront or expose problems

    • Be assertive about what you want, but not aggressive

    • Plan activities - make sure you feel OK about this - If you feel you have been dragged along you are more likely to be resentful

    • Christmas is a time to look for the best in family and friends - Look and speak to the very best in them


    The holiday season ups and downs

    Coping

    Appraisal

    Challenge

    Managing

    Demands

    Resources

    Avoidance


    Benefits of good management good stress

    Benefits of Good Management (Good Stress)

    • Improved mood

    • Better health

    • Good social networks

    • Improved sense of control

    • Knowing my priorities

    • Happier, more relaxed

    • Nicer person to be with!!

    • Fun!!!

    • Striving – having goals – and Happier Holidays


    General tips that i can do today

    General Tips that I can do today?

    • Confront a long-overdue job

    • Ask for help - offer my help

    • Accept support from others

    • Examine demands upon you - Say Yes : Say NO

    • Be decisive

    • Count the positives not the negatives

    • Take time out - meaningful leisure

    • Think positively but realistically

    • Eat well, relax, exercise sleep enough, smoke & drink less

    • Change my way of thinking - evaluate importance

    • Remain focused on the issue NOT the person

    :)

    Hug a friend


    The holiday season ups and downs

    Positive approach

    - dealing with the problem

    the Hardy personality?

    Mastery over stress

    Using stressors (not stress) to achieve

    What about the 6 C’s to equal the 7th C

    Control

    Challenge

    Commitment taking CHARGE

    Cognitions

    Commitment

    Choice


    The holiday season ups and downs

    It’s up to me!I can change my thoughts, behaviour, actions Communicate - with myself- with family and others- with the organisationCampaign to change the problemrather than complain about the problemChoose to change not avoidI can

    Well! Most of the time anyway


    The holiday season ups and downs

    Let’s all take up the ChallengeAppraise what we currently do / do not doUse our resources - AND – share Stop AvoidingWe are responsible for ourselves(and our Christmas/Holidays)


    It s about

    It’s about….

    Balance ……….

    in your life

    in your negotiations

    compromise

    Selfish Vs Unselfish – in self and others


    The holiday season ups and downs

    Thank you for listening

    Just remember – Santa relieves his stress by an

    Ho! Ho! Ho!

    Laughter really is good


    The holiday season ups and downs

    Happy Holidays

    and Good Health


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