Helping Adult Clients “Grow Up” In Their Families of Origin. Ruth Wetherford, PhD June 28, 2011. Division 42 Virtual Happy Hour. Basic Concepts
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Helping Adult Clients “Grow Up” In Their Families of Origin
Ruth Wetherford, PhD
June 28, 2011
Division 42 Virtual Happy Hour
Focus: Instead of trying to change family members, we change our own reactions to family interactions and situations. Our goal is personal authority in the family.
Personal Authority: A pattern of abilities which enables one to assume responsibility for the totality of his/her experiences with life; to experience and relate to all others as peers, not higher or lower on a hierarchy of authority; to initiate, receive or decline intimacy.
PA = DS + I
Personal Authority Combines Differentiation of Self with Intimacy
Differentiation of Self in the family is the ability to know what one feels and thinks about every important thing in the family, separate from social pressure.
Intimacy is the ability to share the meaning of one’s life experiences with another person, assuming the other is accepting and non-critical enough to be emotionally safe. Intimacy includes the ability to recognize when others are not safe and to choose when to not reveal.
With personal authority we can be ourselves and stay connected to family members.
STUDY THE FAMILY, learning about client’s relationships with each member.
IDENTIFY THE PATTERN of repeating sequences of interactions of client’s triangles.
IDENTIFY THE GOAL for client’s emotional and behavioral change.
PLAN THE STRATEGY for client’s de-triangulations, always moving toward the goal.
ANTICIPATE/PLANforfamily pressure to change back.
UTILIZE humor and compassion for self and others. Keep it positive.
DR. RUTH WETHERFORD
220 MONTGOMERY ST. SUITE 400
SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94104