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Development of Self

Development of Self. Attachment, connectedness Autonomy, independence. Biological birth Psychological birth. Margaret Mahler Separation-Individuation Process. The psychological birth (the birth of the self) is a slowly unfolding intra-psychic process. Intra-psychic processes.

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Development of Self

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  1. Development of Self

  2. Attachment, connectedness • Autonomy, independence

  3. Biological birth • Psychological birth

  4. Margaret MahlerSeparation-Individuation Process The psychological birth (the birth of the self) is a slowly unfolding intra-psychic process

  5. Intra-psychic processes

  6. Separation - Individuation 1- symbiotic phase 0-3 months 2- differentiation phase 4-10 months 3- early practicing phase 10-12 months 4- practicing phase 12-18 months 5- rapprochement phase 18-24 months 6- consolidation phase 24-48 months

  7. Symbiotic Phase (0 - 3 months) Infant cannot differentiate between “I” and “not I”

  8. Differentiation Phase (4 - 10 months) Infants begins learning about own body and mother’s body Infant begins making distinctions between: • internal sensations and perceptions of the external world • “I” and “not I” Hatching

  9. Early Practicing Phase(10 – 12 months) crawling - walking • Can initiate separations from mom • Increased body differentiation • Special bond w/mom is formed

  10. Transitional Objects • It is not the object that is important It is the nature of the child’s relationship to the object • An intermediate station between the world of illusion and the world of reality

  11. Practicing Phase (12 – 18 months)  Walking • Discovering the world, mastering • Exhilaration, delight, thrill • Focus on own expanding abilities • “I am POWERFUL”

  12. Practicing Phase (12 - 18 months) PARENTS’ job: Allow and enjoy child’s increasing capacity to operate at a distance from them

  13. Self-Recognition Perception of self as a separate being, distinct from other people

  14. Self-Recognition It presupposes a basic sense of identity

  15. The Emerging Self in Toddlerhood • Recognize themselves in photographs • Use their own name & personal pronouns • Self-conscious emotions (e.g., shame, embarrassment, pride)

  16. The Emerging Self in Toddlerhood “MINE! MINE! MINE!” Establishing boundaries between self and other

  17. Towards end of practicing phase(15-18 months) World expands + I can do it all = = I’m great, life is great! …but, oh my, I can’t really do it all, and where is my MOMMY??!!

  18. Rapprochement Phase (18-24 months) Increased sense of separateness   Will my mom be here for me…? • Reappearance of separation anxiety, clinginess • Need to consolidate separation & individuation • Ambivalence • Neediness and clinging • Escalating demands for autonomy • Screaming and tears Rapprochement crisis

  19. Rapprochement Phase (18 - 24 months) PARENTS’ JOB: If parent gives in to clinginess  stifles child’s need for independence If parent rejects clinginess  overlooks child’s need for connection and security So what’s a parent to do…?

  20. Rapprochement Phase (18 - 24 months) Tolerate ambivalence and negativism Respond flexibly to conflicting demands

  21. GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER

  22. Consolidation of Individuation (2-4 yrs.) • sense of separateness • sense of individuality • need to assert own will • wish to please parent Early separation anxiety   Anxiety over losing mom’s love/approval

  23. PARENTING TODDLERS The challenges of toddlerhood—negativism, defiance, temper tantrums, no-win situations—are not only inevitable but valuable experiences for toddlers, in the process of becoming individuals aware of their own needs and the needs of others

  24. NOOOOOO !! Parents: • you can’t eat the dirt from the plants no matter how yummy it tastes • you can’t fed pancakes to the VCR • you can’t pull the cat’s tail • you can’t hit me when I tell you “no”

  25. NOOOOOO !! Toddlers: • I’m not your clone • I won’t relinquish my sense of myself to do what you want me to do

  26. “I wannit, I needit” • Toddlers desire things w/passion & urgency • The world doesn’t always yield

  27. Temper Tantrums Oh no, my will does not reign supreme!!!! This realization is essential for living within a family

  28. Temper Tantrums • Healthy development: help toddler learn that frustration, anger, and despair are part of the human experience and do not lead to lasting emotional collapse. • Emotional cost: toddlers are scared of displeasing parents (losing their love & approval).  Parent as the secure base from which toddler explores not only “the world”, but also the wide range of feelings.

  29. “Even when I am angry with you, I still love you!” CYCLES OF DISAGREEMENT AND RECONCILIATION

  30. Consolidation of Individuation (2-4 yrs.) PARENTS’ job: Cycles of disagreement and reconciliation: the cornerstone of the toddler’s psychological growth

  31. from “SECURE BASE” to “PARTNERSHIP”

  32. PARTNERSHIP • Partnership is unequal: the parent is raising the child. • Parental firmness and boundaries give toddler the freedom to explore. • Partnership results in more complex sense of security.

  33. Self Concept A set of beliefs about one’s own characteristics

  34. Self-Concept

  35. Categorical Comparative Interpersonal Implications Make fewgeneralizations Unrealistically positive self-descriptions Use higher-order concepts that integrate more specific behavioral features Coordinate opposing self-representations Think about how they affect others and others affect them Focus on abstract characteristics Conceive of multiple selves In sum…

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