You re a real teacher if
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You’re a REAL teacher if… PowerPoint PPT Presentation


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you declare “no cuts” when a shopper squeezes ahead of you in a checkout line. You’re a REAL teacher if…. you can “sense” gum. You’re a REAL teacher if…. you move your dinner partner’s glass away from the edge of the table. You’re a REAL teacher if….

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You’re a REAL teacher if…

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You re a real teacher if

you declare “no cuts” when a shopper squeezes ahead of you in a checkout line.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if1

you can “sense” gum.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if2

you move your dinner partner’s glass away from the edge of the table.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if3

you sing the “Alphabet Song” to yourself as you look up a number in the phone book.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if4

you say everything twice. I mean, you repeat everything. And then you ask “Does everyone understand?”

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if5

you cheer when you hear April 1 does not fall on a school day.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if6

you can’t walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if7

you have been timed gulping down a full lunch in 2 minutes, 18 seconds.

(Master teachers eat even faster.)

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if8

you ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom as you enter a theater with a group of friends.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if9

you know it is better to seek forgiveness than to ask permission.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if10

you know

the best day-before-a-vacation lesson plans can come from Blockbuster.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if11

you know the shortest distance and the length of travel time from your classroom to the office.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if12

you say “I like the way you did that” to the mechanic who repairs your car.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if13

you ask “Are you sure you did your best?” to the mechanic who fails to repair your car.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if14

you have your best conferences in the parking lot.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if15

you believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.”

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if16

you believe that no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary setting for at least 5 years.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if17

you buy Excedrin and Advil at Sam’s.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if18

you will eat anything that is put in the teacher’s lounge

(but only AFTER you find out which family provided it).

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if19

you ask a quiet person at a party if he has something to share with the group.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if20

you know that secretaries and custodians run the school.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if21

you have the assistant principals’ and counselors’ home phone numbers.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if22

meeting a child’s parents instantly answers the question, “Why is this kid like this?”

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if23

you want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work from 8 to 3 and have your summers free!”

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if24

you believe chocolate is a food group.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if25

you can tell it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if26

you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when out in public.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if27

you have no time for a life from August to June.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if28

you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the “lounge”.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if29

you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if30

you’ve ever had your profession slammed by someone who would never DREAM of doing your job.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if31

you can’t have children because there’s no name you could give a child that wouldn’t bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it uttered.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if32

you think caffeine should be available to staff in IV form.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if33

a parent calls to chew you out because you have ignored her son’s project only to learn from you that it must be the one that has sat on the chalkrail for weeks with the words “Whose? Is this yours?” written above it.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if34

your personal life comes to a screeching halt at report card time.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if35

you have classroom rules about where people may put their feet.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if36

you are irritated by adults who chew gum in public.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if37

you write your name conspicuously on all personal objects, including your car keys, your masking tape, your textbook, and your chair.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if38

you always, to your family’s embarrassment, turn a pizza into a math lesson on fractions.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if39

stacking piles of papers on the floor seems like a logical filing system to you.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if40

you drive older cars owned by credit unions.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if41

you correct the grammar and spelling on restaurant menus.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if42

you consider a 2.3% pay raise above average.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if43

you tote more keys than a horse has teeth, and you know how many teeth a horse has.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if44

you never sit down without first checking the seat of the chair (or toilet).

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if45

you would NEVER teach the conjugations of lie and lay to eighth graders.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if46

can predict exactly which parents will show up at Open House and Parent Teacher Conferences.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if47

you have explained to a child that being a rock in the school play is an important role.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if48

your spouse surreptitiously reads the paper at dinner while you describe your day.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if49

you could be written up

in medical journals

for size and elasticity

of kidney and bladder.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if50

you raise your hand when the server at the restaurant asks if anyone would like water.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


You re a real teacher if51

you hear the heartbeats of crisis;

always have time to listen;

know you teach STUDENTS,

not subjects;

and

are absolutely non-expendable.

You’re a REAL teacher if…


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