A Guide, or What You Will

1. Twelfth Night's plot is hard to follow. (Not to mention hard to swallow). Thus, we thoughtfully provide For your enlightenment, a Guide A Guide, or What You Will

2. A set of twins were almost drowned In shipwreck, but were later found. Though neither knew his twin was saved; The play's about how they behaved.

3. The girl, one Viola by name, In boyish clothing straightway came To wait upon the local lord, Whose habit was, when he felt bored, To wallow deep in songs and verse- Which was exceedingly perverse Since she for whom his love was deep- Olivia-thought him a creep

4. Olivia had her problems too. Her brother's death made her so blue She'd sworn off seeing men at all And snubbed them when they came to call.

5. The Duke, who wouldn't take her “no”, Dispatched his Viola to go, (Disguised still, you ought to know, And answ'ring to “Cesario”)

6. Now, Viola in manly clothing, Inspired anything but loathing. Imagine, then, her inward stir To have the lady fall for her! While she (we say without rebuke) Had fallen madly for the Duke.

7. So far so good, though we have not As yet begun the other plot. Which now we'll undertake at once Sir Toby Belch was not a dunce, But though Olivia's uncle, he Was into drunken revelry. To pay for which, he (being broke) Brought around a wealthy bloke, Sir Andrew A,. to woo the niece, While Toby skinned him of his fleece.

8. Now learn, because this isn't trivia, The dour steward to Olivia, Malvolio, both prim and proud, Was out to get the Toby crowd. For partying, he gave them heck Sir T, Sir A, and M as weck (well...) Maria, sep'rate from their riot, Had only tried to keep them quiet. Thus sore at being scolded so, She plotted 'gainst Malvolio To make him seem a perfect farce What subsequently came to parse (pass...) Seems suddenly beyond our scope- And so farewell, we'll let you cope.