Dealing with difficult vendors end users and annoying people
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Dealing With Difficult Vendors, End-Users, and Annoying People. Alan H. Culpeper, CPPO, VCO Culpeper County, Virginia (540) 727-3488 [email protected] Who is Your Difficult Person?. 10.The Jurassic Park T-Rex Dinosaur 9.Co-Working Sniper 8.The Know-It-All

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Dealing With Difficult Vendors, End-Users, and Annoying People

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Dealing with difficult vendors end users and annoying people

Dealing With Difficult Vendors, End-Users, and Annoying People

Alan H. Culpeper, CPPO, VCO

Culpeper County, Virginia

(540) 727-3488

[email protected]


Who is your difficult person

Who is Your Difficult Person?


Top 10 most difficult people

10.The Jurassic Park T-Rex Dinosaur

9.Co-Working Sniper

8.The Know-It-All

7. The Done-It-All

6.The Time Bomb

5.The “No Problem” Vendor

4.The Indecisive End-User

3.The Secret Agent

2.The Negative Person

1.The Whiner

Top 10 Most Difficult People


Where does your difficult person hit the target

Where Does Your Difficult Person Hit the Target?

Task Force

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


Dealing with difficult vendors end users and annoying people 1316314

Where Does Your Difficult Person Hit the Target?

T-Rex

Whiner

Precision

Manipulate

Know-it-All

Negative Person

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Sniper

Secret Agent

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Time Bomb

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Indecisive end-user

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

No Problem Teammate

Done-it-All


We always have choices

We Always have Choices

  • Do nothing and take it on the chin

  • Wash your hands and walk away

  • Change your attitude

  • Change your behavior


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Difficult Behavior and Your Behavior

Your Behavior

Difficult Persons Behavior

The Random, or Intentional Outcome


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Dealing with Difficult People We:

LearnFrom The PastManageThe PresentVisualize The Future


Control the tense the three core issues are

Blame

Values

Choice

Blame = Past

Values = Present

Choice = Future

Control the Tense The Three Core Issues Are:

Who authorized the Change Order? Blame

Should ethical procurement methods be used? Values

Which method of procurement should we use? Choice


How do we talk with difficult people

How Do We Talk with Difficult People?

  • Logic: Influenced by reasoning of the facts.

  • Character: Influenced by reputation, and ability to look trustworthy

  • Emotions: Influenced by registering concern for other peoples emotions.


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Rules of Engagement

We Must Engage

Body

+

Heart

+

Mind

  • Action

    +

  • Emotion

    +

  • Intelligence


Disagreement to collaboration unconscious communications

Disagreement to Collaboration - Unconscious Communications

Blending

Redirecting


We get what we project expect

We Get What We Project & Expect

  • Listen to Understand

  • Speak to be Understood

  • Tell the Truth


We get what we project expect1

We Get What We Project & Expect

  • You become like the people you hang around.

  • Always give people the benefit of the doubt.

  • Appreciate criticism and Say “Thank you”. Don’t argue.


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Difficult Person Type One: T-Rex

Task Force

Intent

  • Get-R-Done

  • Controlling

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent


What is the t rex s motivation

Blame

Values

Our Strategy?

Logic

Our Goal?

Command Respect. Be Strong & Capable

What is the T-Rex’sMotivation?


Watch your emotion with the t rex because in anger you may

Watch your emotion with the T-Rex because in anger you may…

  • Counter Attack

  • Attempt to defend, explain, or justify your position

  • Shut down

    Your Goal?

    Command Respect & Be Strong & Capable


Action plan with the t rex

Action Plan with the T-Rex

  • Hold your ground

  • Interrupt the attack

  • T-Rex has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)

  • Promote peace with honor


What if your t rex is right and you are wrong

What if Your T-Rex is Right, and You are Wrong?

  • Never say “I’m sorry”

  • Admit your mistake

  • State it was a learning experience

  • Will prevent this from happening again


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Difficult Person Type Two:The Co-Working Sniper

Task Force

Intent

  • Get it Done

  • Appreciation

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


Tell tell signs of the sniper

Rude comments

Sarcastic humor

Bitter voice tone

Insecurity

Tell-Tell Signs of the Sniper


What is the snipers motivation

Blame

Angry on how events turn out

Values

Carry grudges with anyone who interferes

To undermine

Just to get attention

Our Strategy?

Character

Our Goal?

Bring them out of hiding

What is the SnipersMotivation?


Action plan

Action Plan

  • The facial expression look back

  • Use questions of intent

  • Use relevant questions

  • Look Innocent

  • Use T-Rex’s strategies if needed


The snipers options

The Snipers Options

  • Back off

  • Keep going out on the limb until it breaks

  • Drop out of the tree & attack like a T-Rex


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Difficult PersonType Three: The Know-It-All

Task Force

Intent

  • Get it done their way

  • Questioning their authority

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


Motivation of the know it all

Values

Choice

Our Strategy?

Logic & Emotions

Our Goal?

Get them to think it was their idea

Motivation of the Know-It-All


First rule lock load

First Rule “Lock & Load”

It’s not what you know, it’s what you can prove


Action plan1

Action Plan

  • Know the facts

  • Look and listen like you’re interested

  • Empathize with their doubts & desires

  • Present your view indirectly

  • Turn them into your mentor


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Difficult Person Type Four: The Done It-All Person

Task Force

Intent

  • Get appreciated

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


Motivation of the done it all

Values

Attentive

Assertive

Like to be a part of the conversation

Our Strategy?

Character

Our Goal?

Remove their bad ideas

Motivation of the Done-It-All


Action plan2

Action Plan

  • Show genuine interest with enthusiasm

  • Clarify for specifics

  • Tell it like it is

  • Give them a break


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Difficult Person Type Five: The Time Bomb

Task Force

Intent

  • Try to get appreciated

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


When will the time bomb go off

Values

Unknown

Our Strategy?

Character

Our Goal?

Take Control of the Situation and Defuse the Time Bomb

When Will The Time Bomb“Go Off?


Action plan3

Action Plan

  • Get their attention

  • Reduce intensity

  • Put them in the “Time out” chair

  • Preventive Maintenance


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Difficult Person Type Six: The “No Problem” Vendor

Intent

Task Force

  • Seek approval

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Getter Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


Can do no problem

Choice

All promises are made for the future

Our Strategy?

Logic

Our Goal?

Get them to do what they say they will do

Can do, No Problem


Action plan4

Action Plan

  • Open Communications

  • Help them learn to plan

  • Ensure Commitment

  • Write it down

  • Confirm deadlines

  • Strengthen the Relationship


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Difficult Person Type Seven: The Indecisive Person

Intent

Task Force

  • Procrastinate

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


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Any decision is better than waiting on their indecision


What do you mean it s not a sole source

Choice

Procrastinates

May be afraid of the Repercussions

Our Strategy?

Logic

Our Goal?

Help them to learn to think decisively

What do you mean it’s not aSole Source?


Action plan5

Action Plan

  • Maintain a Comfort Zone

  • Clarify Options

  • Use Decision Making List

  • Reassure and follow through


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Difficult Person Type Eight: The Secret Agent

Intent

Task Force

  • Get along

  • Get it right

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


The intent of the secret squirrel

Blame

Value

Choice

Our Strategy?

Character

Our Goal?

Get them to squeal like a pig

The Intent of the Secret Squirrel


Action plan6

Action Plan

  • Plan enough time

  • Ask open ended questions

  • Use humor


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Difficult Person Type Nine: The Negative End-User

Intent

Task Force

  • Everyone is wrong

  • Does not allow for change

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


Motivated to be negative

Values

Everyone is wrong

Choice

Does not like change

Our Strategy?Emotions

Our Goal?

Help them solve the problem

Motivated to be Negative


Action plan7

Action Plan

  • Go with the flow

  • Use them as your Risk Manager

  • Leave the door open

  • Go for the polarity response

  • Acknowledge their good intent


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Difficult Person Type Ten: The Whiner

Intent

Task Force

  • To complain

  • Worry

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


Three types of whiners

Three Types of Whiners

  • Helpful Whiner

  • Therapeutic Whiner

  • Obnoxious Whiner


Contributors to their whining voice

Contributors to their Whining Voice

  • The weight of the world on their shoulders, which grows heavier as they continue to find and collect problems.

  • The effort required to whine about it.

  • Feeling of uselessness since no one offers any useful ideas


The motivation of the whiner

Blame

To Complain

To Worry

Our Strategy?Emotions

Our Goal?

Recruit them as a Team Player

The Motivation of the Whiner


What to do and not to do for the whiner

Do Have

Commitment

Patience

Compassion

Don’t

Agree or Disagree

Solve their problems

Ask why they are complaining

What to Do and Not to do for the Whiner


Action plan8

Action Plan

  • Listen for the main points

  • Interrupt & get down to the specifics

  • Shift the focus to a solution

  • Show them the future

  • Draw the line


Dealing with your difficult person

The Core Issues

Blame

Values

Choice

Influence

Logic

Character

Emotions

Dealing with Your Difficult Person


Dealing with your difficult person1

Dealing with Your Difficult Person

  • Blend and Redirect Their Thoughts

  • Listen to Understand

  • Speak to be Understood

  • Tell the Truth


Dealing with difficult vendors end users and annoying people1

Dealing With Difficult Vendors, End-Users, and Annoying People

Alan H. Culpeper, CPPO, VCO

Culpeper County, Virginia

(540) 727-3488

[email protected]


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