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Dealing With Difficult Vendors, End-Users, and Annoying People. Alan H. Culpeper, CPPO, VCO Culpeper County, Virginia (540) 727-3488 [email protected] Who is Your Difficult Person?. 10.The Jurassic Park T-Rex Dinosaur 9. Co-Working Sniper 8. The Know-It-All

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Dealing with difficult vendors end users and annoying people

Dealing With Difficult Vendors, End-Users, and Annoying People

Alan H. Culpeper, CPPO, VCO

Culpeper County, Virginia

(540) 727-3488

[email protected]



Top 10 most difficult people

10.The Jurassic Park T-Rex Dinosaur People

9. Co-Working Sniper

8. The Know-It-All

7. The Done-It-All

6. The Time Bomb

5. The “No Problem” Vendor

4. The Indecisive End-User

3. The Secret Agent

2. The Negative Person

1. The Whiner

Top 10 Most Difficult People


Where does your difficult person hit the target
Where Does Your Difficult Person Hit the Target? People

Task Force

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


Where Does Your Difficult Person Hit the Target? People

T-Rex

Whiner

Precision

Manipulate

Know-it-All

Negative Person

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Sniper

Secret Agent

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Time Bomb

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Indecisive end-user

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

No Problem Teammate

Done-it-All


We always have choices
We Always have Choices People

  • Do nothing and take it on the chin

  • Wash your hands and walk away

  • Change your attitude

  • Change your behavior


Difficult Behavior and Your Behavior People

Your Behavior

Difficult Persons Behavior

The Random, or Intentional Outcome


Dealing with Difficult People We: People

LearnFrom The PastManageThe PresentVisualize The Future


Control the tense the three core issues are

Blame People

Values

Choice

Blame = Past

Values = Present

Choice = Future

Control the Tense The Three Core Issues Are:

Who authorized the Change Order? Blame

Should ethical procurement methods be used? Values

Which method of procurement should we use? Choice


How do we talk with difficult people
How Do We Talk with Difficult People? People

  • Logic: Influenced by reasoning of the facts.

  • Character: Influenced by reputation, and ability to look trustworthy

  • Emotions: Influenced by registering concern for other peoples emotions.


Rules of Engagement People

We Must Engage

Body

+

Heart

+

Mind

  • Action

    +

  • Emotion

    +

  • Intelligence



We get what we project expect
We Get What We Project & Expect People

  • Listen to Understand

  • Speak to be Understood

  • Tell the Truth


We get what we project expect1
We Get What We Project & Expect People

  • You become like the people you hang around.

  • Always give people the benefit of the doubt.

  • Appreciate criticism and Say “Thank you”. Don’t argue.


Difficult Person Type One: T-Rex People

Task Force

Intent

  • Get-R-Done

  • Controlling

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent


What is the t rex s motivation

Blame People

Values

Our Strategy?

Logic

Our Goal?

Command Respect. Be Strong & Capable

What is the T-Rex’sMotivation?


Watch your emotion with the t rex because in anger you may
Watch your emotion with the T-Rex because in anger you may…

  • Counter Attack

  • Attempt to defend, explain, or justify your position

  • Shut down

    Your Goal?

    Command Respect & Be Strong & Capable


Action plan with the t rex
Action Plan with the T-Rex may…

  • Hold your ground

  • Interrupt the attack

  • T-Rex has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)

  • Promote peace with honor


What if your t rex is right and you are wrong
What if Your T-Rex is Right, and You are Wrong? may…

  • Never say “I’m sorry”

  • Admit your mistake

  • State it was a learning experience

  • Will prevent this from happening again


Difficult Person Type Two: may…The Co-Working Sniper

Task Force

Intent

  • Get it Done

  • Appreciation

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


Tell tell signs of the sniper

Rude comments may…

Sarcastic humor

Bitter voice tone

Insecurity

Tell-Tell Signs of the Sniper


What is the snipers motivation

Blame may…

Angry on how events turn out

Values

Carry grudges with anyone who interferes

To undermine

Just to get attention

Our Strategy?

Character

Our Goal?

Bring them out of hiding

What is the SnipersMotivation?


Action plan
Action Plan may…

  • The facial expression look back

  • Use questions of intent

  • Use relevant questions

  • Look Innocent

  • Use T-Rex’s strategies if needed


The snipers options
The Snipers Options may…

  • Back off

  • Keep going out on the limb until it breaks

  • Drop out of the tree & attack like a T-Rex


Difficult Person may…Type Three: The Know-It-All

Task Force

Intent

  • Get it done their way

  • Questioning their authority

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


Motivation of the know it all

Values may…

Choice

Our Strategy?

Logic & Emotions

Our Goal?

Get them to think it was their idea

Motivation of the Know-It-All


First rule lock load
First Rule “Lock & Load” may…

It’s not what you know, it’s what you can prove


Action plan1
Action Plan may…

  • Know the facts

  • Look and listen like you’re interested

  • Empathize with their doubts & desires

  • Present your view indirectly

  • Turn them into your mentor


Difficult Person Type Four: may…The Done It-All Person

Task Force

Intent

  • Get appreciated

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


Motivation of the done it all

Values may…

Attentive

Assertive

Like to be a part of the conversation

Our Strategy?

Character

Our Goal?

Remove their bad ideas

Motivation of the Done-It-All


Action plan2
Action Plan may…

  • Show genuine interest with enthusiasm

  • Clarify for specifics

  • Tell it like it is

  • Give them a break


Difficult Person Type Five: may…The Time Bomb

Task Force

Intent

  • Try to get appreciated

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


When will the time bomb go off

Values may…

Unknown

Our Strategy?

Character

Our Goal?

Take Control of the Situation and Defuse the Time Bomb

When Will The Time Bomb“Go Off?


Action plan3
Action Plan may…

  • Get their attention

  • Reduce intensity

  • Put them in the “Time out” chair

  • Preventive Maintenance


Difficult Person Type Six: may…The “No Problem” Vendor

Intent

Task Force

  • Seek approval

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Getter Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


Can do no problem

Choice may…

All promises are made for the future

Our Strategy?

Logic

Our Goal?

Get them to do what they say they will do

Can do, No Problem


Action plan4
Action Plan may…

  • Open Communications

  • Help them learn to plan

  • Ensure Commitment

  • Write it down

  • Confirm deadlines

  • Strengthen the Relationship


Difficult Person Type Seven: may…The Indecisive Person

Intent

Task Force

  • Procrastinate

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus



What do you mean it s not a sole source

Choice may…

Procrastinates

May be afraid of the Repercussions

Our Strategy?

Logic

Our Goal?

Help them to learn to think decisively

What do you mean it’s not aSole Source?


Action plan5
Action Plan may…

  • Maintain a Comfort Zone

  • Clarify Options

  • Use Decision Making List

  • Reassure and follow through


Difficult Person Type Eight: may…The Secret Agent

Intent

Task Force

  • Get along

  • Get it right

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


The intent of the secret squirrel

Blame may…

Value

Choice

Our Strategy?

Character

Our Goal?

Get them to squeal like a pig

The Intent of the Secret Squirrel


Action plan6
Action Plan may…

  • Plan enough time

  • Ask open ended questions

  • Use humor


Difficult Person Type Nine: may…The Negative End-User

Intent

Task Force

  • Everyone is wrong

  • Does not allow for change

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


Motivated to be negative

Values may…

Everyone is wrong

Choice

Does not like change

Our Strategy?Emotions

Our Goal?

Help them solve the problem

Motivated to be Negative


Action plan7
Action Plan may…

  • Go with the flow

  • Use them as your Risk Manager

  • Leave the door open

  • Go for the polarity response

  • Acknowledge their good intent


Difficult Person Type Ten: may…The Whiner

Intent

Task Force

  • To complain

  • Worry

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus


Three types of whiners
Three Types of Whiners may…

  • Helpful Whiner

  • Therapeutic Whiner

  • Obnoxious Whiner


Contributors to their whining voice
Contributors to their Whining Voice may…

  • The weight of the world on their shoulders, which grows heavier as they continue to find and collect problems.

  • The effort required to whine about it.

  • Feeling of uselessness since no one offers any useful ideas


The motivation of the whiner

Blame may…

To Complain

To Worry

Our Strategy?Emotions

Our Goal?

Recruit them as a Team Player

The Motivation of the Whiner


What to do and not to do for the whiner

Do Have may…

Commitment

Patience

Compassion

Don’t

Agree or Disagree

Solve their problems

Ask why they are complaining

What to Do and Not to do for the Whiner


Action plan8
Action Plan may…

  • Listen for the main points

  • Interrupt & get down to the specifics

  • Shift the focus to a solution

  • Show them the future

  • Draw the line


Dealing with your difficult person

The Core Issues may…

Blame

Values

Choice

Influence

Logic

Character

Emotions

Dealing with Your Difficult Person


Dealing with your difficult person1
Dealing with Your Difficult Person may…

  • Blend and Redirect Their Thoughts

  • Listen to Understand

  • Speak to be Understood

  • Tell the Truth


Dealing with difficult vendors end users and annoying people1

Dealing With Difficult Vendors, End-Users, and Annoying People

Alan H. Culpeper, CPPO, VCO

Culpeper County, Virginia

(540) 727-3488

[email protected]


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