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Dealing With Difficult Vendors, End-Users, and Annoying People. Alan H. Culpeper, CPPO, VCO Culpeper County, Virginia (540) 727-3488 [email protected] Who is Your Difficult Person?. 10.The Jurassic Park T-Rex Dinosaur 9. Co-Working Sniper 8. The Know-It-All

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dealing with difficult vendors end users and annoying people

Dealing With Difficult Vendors, End-Users, and Annoying People

Alan H. Culpeper, CPPO, VCO

Culpeper County, Virginia

(540) 727-3488

[email protected]

top 10 most difficult people
10.The Jurassic Park T-Rex Dinosaur

9. Co-Working Sniper

8. The Know-It-All

7. The Done-It-All

6. The Time Bomb

5. The “No Problem” Vendor

4. The Indecisive End-User

3. The Secret Agent

2. The Negative Person

1. The Whiner

Top 10 Most Difficult People
where does your difficult person hit the target
Where Does Your Difficult Person Hit the Target?

Task Force

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus

slide5

Where Does Your Difficult Person Hit the Target?

T-Rex

Whiner

Precision

Manipulate

Know-it-All

Negative Person

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Sniper

Secret Agent

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Time Bomb

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Indecisive end-user

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

No Problem Teammate

Done-it-All

we always have choices
We Always have Choices
  • Do nothing and take it on the chin
  • Wash your hands and walk away
  • Change your attitude
  • Change your behavior
slide7

Difficult Behavior and Your Behavior

Your Behavior

Difficult Persons Behavior

The Random, or Intentional Outcome

slide8

Dealing with Difficult People We:

LearnFrom The PastManageThe PresentVisualize The Future

control the tense the three core issues are
Blame

Values

Choice

Blame = Past

Values = Present

Choice = Future

Control the Tense The Three Core Issues Are:

Who authorized the Change Order? Blame

Should ethical procurement methods be used? Values

Which method of procurement should we use? Choice

how do we talk with difficult people
How Do We Talk with Difficult People?
  • Logic: Influenced by reasoning of the facts.
  • Character: Influenced by reputation, and ability to look trustworthy
  • Emotions: Influenced by registering concern for other peoples emotions.
slide11

Rules of Engagement

We Must Engage

Body

+

Heart

+

Mind

  • Action

+

  • Emotion

+

  • Intelligence
we get what we project expect
We Get What We Project & Expect
  • Listen to Understand
  • Speak to be Understood
  • Tell the Truth
we get what we project expect1
We Get What We Project & Expect
  • You become like the people you hang around.
  • Always give people the benefit of the doubt.
  • Appreciate criticism and Say “Thank you”. Don’t argue.
slide15

Difficult Person Type One: T-Rex

Task Force

Intent

  • Get-R-Done
  • Controlling

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

what is the t rex s motivation
Blame

Values

Our Strategy?

Logic

Our Goal?

Command Respect. Be Strong & Capable

What is the T-Rex’sMotivation?
watch your emotion with the t rex because in anger you may
Watch your emotion with the T-Rex because in anger you may…
  • Counter Attack
  • Attempt to defend, explain, or justify your position
  • Shut down

Your Goal?

Command Respect & Be Strong & Capable

action plan with the t rex
Action Plan with the T-Rex
  • Hold your ground
  • Interrupt the attack
  • T-Rex has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)
  • Promote peace with honor
what if your t rex is right and you are wrong
What if Your T-Rex is Right, and You are Wrong?
  • Never say “I’m sorry”
  • Admit your mistake
  • State it was a learning experience
  • Will prevent this from happening again
slide20

Difficult Person Type Two:The Co-Working Sniper

Task Force

Intent

  • Get it Done
  • Appreciation

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus

tell tell signs of the sniper
Rude comments

Sarcastic humor

Bitter voice tone

Insecurity

Tell-Tell Signs of the Sniper
what is the snipers motivation
Blame

Angry on how events turn out

Values

Carry grudges with anyone who interferes

To undermine

Just to get attention

Our Strategy?

Character

Our Goal?

Bring them out of hiding

What is the SnipersMotivation?
action plan
Action Plan
  • The facial expression look back
  • Use questions of intent
  • Use relevant questions
  • Look Innocent
  • Use T-Rex’s strategies if needed
the snipers options
The Snipers Options
  • Back off
  • Keep going out on the limb until it breaks
  • Drop out of the tree & attack like a T-Rex
slide25

Difficult PersonType Three: The Know-It-All

Task Force

Intent

  • Get it done their way
  • Questioning their authority

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus

motivation of the know it all
Values

Choice

Our Strategy?

Logic & Emotions

Our Goal?

Get them to think it was their idea

Motivation of the Know-It-All
first rule lock load
First Rule “Lock & Load”

It’s not what you know, it’s what you can prove

action plan1
Action Plan
  • Know the facts
  • Look and listen like you’re interested
  • Empathize with their doubts & desires
  • Present your view indirectly
  • Turn them into your mentor
slide29

Difficult Person Type Four: The Done It-All Person

Task Force

Intent

  • Get appreciated

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus

motivation of the done it all
Values

Attentive

Assertive

Like to be a part of the conversation

Our Strategy?

Character

Our Goal?

Remove their bad ideas

Motivation of the Done-It-All
action plan2
Action Plan
  • Show genuine interest with enthusiasm
  • Clarify for specifics
  • Tell it like it is
  • Give them a break
slide32

Difficult Person Type Five: The Time Bomb

Task Force

Intent

  • Try to get appreciated

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus

when will the time bomb go off
Values

Unknown

Our Strategy?

Character

Our Goal?

Take Control of the Situation and Defuse the Time Bomb

When Will The Time Bomb“Go Off?
action plan3
Action Plan
  • Get their attention
  • Reduce intensity
  • Put them in the “Time out” chair
  • Preventive Maintenance
slide35

Difficult Person Type Six: The “No Problem” Vendor

Intent

Task Force

  • Seek approval

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Getter Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus

can do no problem
Choice

All promises are made for the future

Our Strategy?

Logic

Our Goal?

Get them to do what they say they will do

Can do, No Problem
action plan4
Action Plan
  • Open Communications
  • Help them learn to plan
  • Ensure Commitment
  • Write it down
  • Confirm deadlines
  • Strengthen the Relationship
slide38

Difficult Person Type Seven: The Indecisive Person

Intent

Task Force

  • Procrastinate

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus

what do you mean it s not a sole source
Choice

Procrastinates

May be afraid of the Repercussions

Our Strategy?

Logic

Our Goal?

Help them to learn to think decisively

What do you mean it’s not aSole Source?
action plan5
Action Plan
  • Maintain a Comfort Zone
  • Clarify Options
  • Use Decision Making List
  • Reassure and follow through
slide42

Difficult Person Type Eight: The Secret Agent

Intent

Task Force

  • Get along
  • Get it right

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus

the intent of the secret squirrel
Blame

Value

Choice

Our Strategy?

Character

Our Goal?

Get them to squeal like a pig

The Intent of the Secret Squirrel
action plan6
Action Plan
  • Plan enough time
  • Ask open ended questions
  • Use humor
slide45

Difficult Person Type Nine: The Negative End-User

Intent

Task Force

  • Everyone is wrong
  • Does not allow for change

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus

motivated to be negative
Values

Everyone is wrong

Choice

Does not like change

Our Strategy?Emotions

Our Goal?

Help them solve the problem

Motivated to be Negative
action plan7
Action Plan
  • Go with the flow
  • Use them as your Risk Manager
  • Leave the door open
  • Go for the polarity response
  • Acknowledge their good intent
slide48

Difficult Person Type Ten: The Whiner

Intent

Task Force

  • To complain
  • Worry

Precision

Manipulate

Be exactly Right

Get-R-Done

Comfort Zone

Passive

Comfort Zone

Aggression

Attention & Appreciation

Consent

Center of Attention

Seeking Consent

People Focus

three types of whiners
Three Types of Whiners
  • Helpful Whiner
  • Therapeutic Whiner
  • Obnoxious Whiner
contributors to their whining voice
Contributors to their Whining Voice
  • The weight of the world on their shoulders, which grows heavier as they continue to find and collect problems.
  • The effort required to whine about it.
  • Feeling of uselessness since no one offers any useful ideas
the motivation of the whiner
Blame

To Complain

To Worry

Our Strategy?Emotions

Our Goal?

Recruit them as a Team Player

The Motivation of the Whiner
what to do and not to do for the whiner
Do Have

Commitment

Patience

Compassion

Don’t

Agree or Disagree

Solve their problems

Ask why they are complaining

What to Do and Not to do for the Whiner
action plan8
Action Plan
  • Listen for the main points
  • Interrupt & get down to the specifics
  • Shift the focus to a solution
  • Show them the future
  • Draw the line
dealing with your difficult person
The Core Issues

Blame

Values

Choice

Influence

Logic

Character

Emotions

Dealing with Your Difficult Person
dealing with your difficult person1
Dealing with Your Difficult Person
  • Blend and Redirect Their Thoughts
  • Listen to Understand
  • Speak to be Understood
  • Tell the Truth
dealing with difficult vendors end users and annoying people1

Dealing With Difficult Vendors, End-Users, and Annoying People

Alan H. Culpeper, CPPO, VCO

Culpeper County, Virginia

(540) 727-3488

[email protected]

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