Top Goofs in Student’s Writing

1. Top Goofs in Student’s Writing

2. Students Vs. Professionals • What is the difference between the way students write and the way professionals write?

3. Average Student • Write it • Hand it in

4. Above Average Student • Write it • Edit it • Rewrite it • Hand it in

5. Exceptional Student • Write it • Edit it • Rewrite it • Edit it • Rewrite it • Hand it in

6. Professional Writer • Write it • Edit it • Rewrite • Edit • Rewrite • Edit • Rewrite • Hand it in

7. The Art of Writing Great writing is… 20 % inspiration 80% clean-up Learning the art of cleanup is just as important as the writing itself!

8. Writing and Your Room? • Writing is like your room. Trash it all you want for the sake of expressing yourself; then when you clean it up, you will have something wonderfully unique to enjoy and share with other people!

9. Double Talk • Don’t repeat yourself, yourself, yourself… • Double Talk: The day was unforgettable. I will never forget it. • Better: The day was unforgettable.

10. Double Talk • Oops: I woke up at midnight because of a loud sound that woke me up. • Stronger: I woke up at midnight because of a loud sound.

11. How to Avoid Double Talk • It’s simple! Don’t repeat the same thing over and over again! • Don’t repeat the same thing over again. • Don’t repeat the same thing again. • Don’t repeat!! (Finally got it right that time!)

12. Speaking isn’t Writing • When we speak, some of those sentences sound fine. • They don’t read fine though. • In conversation, we double talk lots and lots (catch that one?). • When we write…PRECISON IS POWER. DOUBLE TALK IS PUNY!

13. Double Talk Examples • First time ever • Personal friend • Mix together • Month of June • True fact • Local resident • Rise up • Unexpected surprise • Small in size • Whole wide world • Red in color • The reason is because • The reason why • Each and every one • Completely destroyed • Return again

14. Excess BaggageUnnecessary Words • When we speak, these words are fine. When we write, they are “eyesores.” • Weak: I am sitting down in the chair. • Stronger: I am sitting on the chair.

15. Excess Baggage • Weak: I am diving down into the water. • Stronger: I am diving into the water.

16. Excess Baggage • Weak: Will you please go and get my pencil for me? • Still weak: Will you please get my pencil for me? • Better: Please get my pencil for me.

17. Excess Baggage • Weak: I ate dinner, then I watched TV, and then I went to bed. • Can you make it stronger?

18. Check This Out • These sentences contain unnecessary words. • I cleaned up all of my stuff. • This is some kind of a zebra. • The doctor stitched up my cut. • I ate a half of my apple. • We’re all out of toothpaste • I opened up my birthday gift. Get rid of unnecessary words!

19. Excess Baggage Weak: I needed a new book bag, and so my mom took me to buy one. Better: You only need ONE conjunction. You try!

20. Puny Words • We overuse many words and phrases in everyday speech. • Cool • Awesome • Thing

21. Vapid?? • Sometimes are words are vapid, lacking zest, dull, or stale. • Look for your puny words and replace them with WOW words.

22. Spice it Up! • Puny • Cool • Really pretty • Real cute • Not so great • Real mad • So good • boring • WOW! • Fascinating, interesting • Beautiful • Adorable • Disappointing • Furious • Amazing • Monotonous

23. Undernourished Phrases • The kids quickly ate some food. • The boys quickly ate sandwiches.

24. Getting Better… • The six boys quickly ate several foot-long sandwiches. • Yeah! • The six boys of the boys’ tennis team hungrily devoured several foot-long sandwiches.

25. Undernourished Again • A ball broke the neighbors’ window. • Getting Better… • A baseball accidentally broke the neighbors’ window.

26. Even stronger! • A baseball, which Wesley accidentally hit toward the neighbors’ house, broke their window. • Strongest! • A baseball, which Wesley accidentally hit toward the neighbors’ house, shattered their kitchen window.

27. Run-Ons • Run-ons go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on… • Use a period when one idea is complete! Sometimes when a sentence gets revved up, it’s hard for a writer to know when to stop because many ideas are bubbling to the surface and all the ideas seem related to each other and therefore, appropriate to be included in the same sentence.

28. Slang! • Hey man, slang is okay when you’re speaking to a friend but not when writing! • Hey bro, what’s up? Yo, is that your new ride? It’s smokin’. I heard there’s a hot new track from Jay-Z, and my boy said he’ll hook me up with a free copy.

29. Slang-Is It In, or Is It Out? • Is it rad or bad? • It depends on what you’re writing! • Slang is fine in the right place. • Out of place, it makes you sound silly or disrespectful!

30. WITH SLANG, WHEN IN DOUBT, CUT IT OUT!

31. Tasteless Bites vs. Delicious Sentences • Choppy sentences are dull and boring. • Don’t make sentences so short it sounds like your two-year old brother talking! • Don’t use one sentence paragraphs!

32. Boring: It’s raining. It’s cloudy too. It’s cold outside. I wish I had my umbrella. • Better: It’s cold, cloudy, and raining outside, and I wish I had my umbrella.

33. Boring: My cat’s name is Boris. My dog’s name is Bowser. My hamster’s name is Sunny. My boa constrictor’s name is Tough Stuff. I have four pets. Those are my pets. • Better (but not great): I have four pets: a cat named Boris, a dog named Bowser, a hamster named Sunny, and a boa constrictor named Tough Stuff.

34. Better! • I have four unique pets! Boris the cat gets along great with my dog Bowser, but Sunny the hamster stays as far away as possible from Tough Stuff the boa constrictor.

35. Avoid Repetition • Think up a new zesty word! • It was a dark and stormy night. During the night, I had a nightmare about storms. I saw dark thunderclouds and lightning all night in my dreams. When I woke, my emotions were dark. It had been a very stormy dark night for me.

36. It’s Ok to Work at Writing! • Being a strong writer takes tons of work! • Be willing to work hard; it’ll pay off for you today and in your future!

37. The End! • Resource: • Painless Grammar by Rebecca Elliott, Ph.d