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Bullying What it is and what you can do to help prevent it!

Bullying What it is and what you can do to help prevent it!. Dr. David Losey, Ed.D., LMHC Silver Creek Counseling. Consequences of Bullying. Victim does not learn to his/her potential. Victim Depressed, Lonely, Anxious Low Self-Esteem, Fell Unwell, Think About Suicide Bully

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Bullying What it is and what you can do to help prevent it!

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  1. BullyingWhat it is and what you can do to help prevent it! Dr. David Losey, Ed.D., LMHC Silver Creek Counseling

  2. Consequences of Bullying • Victim does not learn to his/her potential. • Victim • Depressed, Lonely, Anxious • Low Self-Esteem, Fell Unwell, • Think About Suicide • Bully • Sign of other serious anti-social behavior • Drink, Smoke, Truant, Drop Out, Weapons • Lack of Empathy, Have Friends, Self-Esteem

  3. Definition A. Indiana Code 20-33-8-0.2 defines bullying as: 1. Overt – repeated acts or gestures, including: • Verbal or written communications transmitted; • Physical acts committed; or • Any other behaviors committed by a student or group of students against another student with the intent to harass, ridicule, humiliate, intimidate or harm the other student.

  4. Bullying is aggressive behavior that is intentional and involves an imbalance of power or strength. Typically it is repeated over time. It may take many forms, such as hitting or punching (physical bullying); teasing or name calling (verbal bullying); intimidation using gestures or social exclusion (non-verbal bullying or emotional bullying); and sending insulting messages by email or other electronic means (cyber bullying). • It is abuse – not conflict.

  5. Behavior is our best attempt, at the time, to satisfyone or more of the six basic human needs. We are always motivated to behave in a need fulfilling manner. Behavior is learned as we attempt to fulfill our needs. Behavior is a choice.

  6. Basic Human Needs • Survival: physical, food, water, shelter • Belonging:love, trust, acceptance, share • Power:achievement, competence, attention • Freedom:choices, independence, decisions • Fun:enjoyment, laughing, good times • Faith: belief is a higher power, God, spiritual When we are able to satisfy one of these needs, it feels very good.

  7. Motivation is . . . Motivation is the internal, genetic desire to satisfy one or more of the six basic human needs in a quality manner.

  8. External Control PsychologyAlways Fails! • I can make you do what I want you to do. • I will punish you when you are wrong • When you don’t do what I want you to do • I will reward you when you are right • When you do what I want you to do • Behavior control is seen as outside

  9. Stimulus-Response Theory Is Wrong • The whole thrust of SR theory is that we do not control our own behavior. • SR theory contends that our behavior is a response to a stimulus from outside ourselves.

  10. What We Teach Children:To Be Proactive • Between stimulus and response… Human beings have the freedom to choose. • Proactivity is taking the responsibility to choose.

  11. Children who bully . . . • Are more likely to live in homes where there is: • A lack of warmth • A lack of parental involvement • A lack of supervision by parents • Harsh physical discipline, which becomes a model for bullying behavior • Believe the victim deserves “what they got”

  12. Behavior ImprovementWhat Can Parents Do?SEVEN Powerful Actions • Model appropriate behavior • Teach better behaviors • Influence behavior choices • Encourage appropriate behavior • Celebrate appropriate behavior

  13. NUMBER SIXSet clear limits for behavior • What do to when you see bullying behavior • Be the Adult: INTERVENE • Close, eye contact, touch, “Stop, right now!” • Stop the behavior; state, “you were … (describe the behavior). This not an acceptable choice.” • Set a logical consequence (loss of fun or priviliges)

  14. NUMBER SEVENYou Can “Be Fair” and Teach What Fair Means • Fair is NOT treating everyone the same. • Fair is providing each person what he or she needs in order to have the opportunity to succeed.

  15. Quality World • This small, very specific, personal world is the core of our lives because in it are the pictures of the people, things, activities, places, and beliefs that we have discovered are most satisfying to our needs. Quality World Picture Album Parents, keep yourself in your child’s Quality World!

  16. Conclusion • Bullying is behavior. • Behavior is learned. • Behavior is a choice. • Parents: 7 Powerful Actions • Model, Teach, Influence, Encourage • Celebrate, Limit, Be Fair • Love your child enough to be in charge

  17. Silver Creek Counseling Dr. David Losey, LMHC, NCC 502 299-9513 http://www.silvercreekcounseling.com

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