How to Survive the 1 st Semester of College

1. How to Survive the 1st Semester of College An Informative Go-To Self-Help Guide for Clueless High School Seniors and College Freshmen Compiled, Edited, and Revised by Benjamin Proffitt

2. #1: Bring more stuff than you think you’ll need, because odds are, you’ll probably need it. Solution: Unless you live in-state, you’re pretty much screwed. You could try substituting one fix for another, but last time I checked, duct tape can’t replace printer cartridges. Explanation: Probably one of the worst problems facing a college freshman is the infamous “Oh-I-wish-I-hadn’t-forgotten-that-at-home” scenario, where some crucial device, tool, or supply component is nowhere to be found. This is especially true for out-of-state students who have no immediate way of getting back home. Honestly, there isn’t any real solution to this problem unless you live in-state, and even then it usually requires a free day where you can make the journey back home to retrieve what you need. Fortunately, I don’t have that problem, because I only live an hour and a half away from LC. But then again, I’m lucky.

3. #2: Always, ALWAYS set an alarm for waking up. Solution: • Get an alarm clock and set it for a time that allows enough time for adequate sleep but still gives you plenty of time to get ready in the morning. • Get on a regular sleep schedule and stick with it. Explanation: Ah, the classic case of sleeping in and missing class. In college, there isn’t really an instant consequence for missing a class, but in the long term, the issues add up. More often than not, you’ll still have to know the material for an exam or test, you’ll have to get the information from a reliable note-taker, and you’ll have wasted tuition money by not going to class. Obviously, you don’t want to miss class if you can help it. And I know this from experience. That’s why there is a quote on my door that reads “I don’t always sleep in, but when I do, I run like a gazelle to class.”

4. #3: Stay away from drugs and alcohol. No, seriously; you have NO idea how stupid you can be when you’re drunk and/or high. Solution: Don’t be stupid. Just stay away from that stuff altogether. You’ll have more dignity and better grades in the long run. Explanation: Okay, so obviously there’s peer pressure and social stresses that lead to alcoholism and drug addiction. And I’m not saying that you have to be completely abstinent from either. All I’m saying is that if you go and get hammered or stoned, go straight back to your room, lock the door, turn out the lights, and go to sleep. Don’t go around pulling fire alarms, or streaking around campus, or vomiting in the shower, or barging into people’s rooms at 3 am asking “Where am I?”, or launching into raunchy party stories while sitting in bathroom stalls when other people are present. None of these activities will get you friends or respect. I myself have never participated in any such acts, nor do I want to, but I have seen people who have. And they are STUPID.

5. #4: Just do the work, no matter how boring it is. It’s that easy. Solution: • Make a schedule for yourself of how you’re going to tackle assignments. • Write EVERYthing down somewhere where you see it daily. • Know about deadlines and work to complete projects ahead of the deadline. • Work smarter, not harder. Explanation: Yes, there are lots of boring assignments and readings to do in college. These count towards your final grade and your ability to pass your finals. There are also lots of ways to be distracted and unproductive in college. These create memories that may or may not be with you in 10 years. The knowledge will. Conclusion; DO THE HOMEWORK. Trust me, you feel much better goofing off after getting a solid workload out of the way than if you hadn’t done the work at all. Procrastination may have worked in high school, but it won’t here.

6. #5: You don’t have to be Michael Phelps to stay fit in college. Solution: • Use free time to go on a run, walk, or trot. • If your college has a fitness center, USE IT!!!! (I find LC’s FC quite useful). • Try to have a balanced diet while at college. Try going for a salad instead of beanie-weenies once in a while, or skip dessert. • Weigh yourself periodically. If appearance or social acceptance doesn’t scare you into working out, the health risks of being overweight might do the trick! Explanation: The freshman 15; that dastardly villain behind so many overweight college students. The only way to counteract this scourge of laziness is to exercise and eat healthy. This means not having pizza for lunch every day, or sitting in your dorm all weekend watching movies on Netflix. This means that you should actually get out and move around enough to the point where you break a sweat from using energy (and the sun’s heat doesn’t count). If I can beat the freshman 15, than so can you! *Working out does not guarantee flat abs or increased female/male attention, but it does increase the chances of such effects!*

7. #6: Be social, not antisocial. Speak. Sit. Good boy!! Solution: • Get out and go to sporting events, get involved in clubs, and visit other people’s rooms in your dorm hall. You’ll make lots more friends if you take the first step. • Besides, you never know who you will meet on any given day! Explanation: Yeah, so you do know the names of all your hallmates on your floor, right? No? Then what about your roommate? Seriously? You don’t know your own roommates name? Sounds like you need to speak up and be social. Believe me, the more friends you have, the better off you’ll be in the long run. And it’s probably a good idea to know who your roommate is; after all, you will be living with him for several months.

8. #7: Know how to do laundry well enough to avoid turning all your clothes pink, unless they were pink to begin with. Solution: • Make certain that you have your clothes separated into distinct piles before washing; this way, you’ll avoid confusion at the washer. • Use appropriate amounts of laundry detergent so that your clothes wash properly. Explanation: Laundry, when being attempted for the first time without assistance from parental units, can be a befuddling conundrum. However, once you get the hang of it, you should be well equipped to have clean clothes for the rest of the semester. Just be sure to put whatever you’re washing in the appropriate wash setting and separate colors from whites. Otherwise you’ll be faced with shrunken, pink clothes. That doesn’t really work on a man’s physique. Normally.

9. #8: If you’re going to become romantically involved with another student, don’t rush into anything you aren’t prepared for. Solution: • Try to get to know your object of affection before considering pursuit, it saves a lot of stress later. • Give each other space. Spending a lot of time in your bf/gf’s room is one thing, but when you have to constantly be within a 3-foot radius of them to not be lonely, it’s time to BACK-OFF. • Try to accompany each other to a variety of events and places – it’s always good to have a list of possible date destinations in mind. Explanation: They say that love is a many-splendored thing; however, the time commitment and care needed to shape a good relationship exceeds the expectations of many unwary college students in unexpected ways. While there is nothing wrong with having a girlfriend/boyfriend, the key to staying in such a relationship is to take things as they come: SLOWLY. Take it from someone who knows; if you’re falling head over heels for someone after having only known them four days, you probably need to slow down and take a step back and ask yourself, “Do I REALLY know this person?”

10. #9: Make it to all scheduled meetings or appointments on time, especially when dealing with professors. Solution: • Keep in touch with your professor via email, text, or other mode of communication. • If a conflict arises prior to your appointment, then let them know in advance as to whether or not you will be coming. They will respect you a lot more if you actually contact them, rather than keeping them in the dark. • If you simply forget to go, apologize to your professor as soon as possible and try to reschedule an appointment. • Set email or phone reminders for yourself so that you can’t forget. Explanation: Of all the people you meet in college, professors will probably be some of the most important and influential. Not only do you learn the information that will help you get a job in the future, but they are also your advisors about college basics, study habits, and life in general. So if you set up an appointment to talk with them about projects, grades, class performance, or other problems, than get to your appointment on time! Punctuality is a quality that many adults admire , and with all the power professors hold over your success, its not a bad idea to stay on their good side.

11. #10: Take care of yourself; hygienically, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Solution: • Go to church and stay active in your religion. • If you’re feeling stressed, go for a walk or chat with friends. The mental break will help you focus later. • Talk to your R.A./CL/counselor if you’re having emotional issues or just need help getting something off your chest. • You are now in charge of how healthy you are, not your parents! Explanation: Just because you’re away at college doesn’t mean you should change your lifestyle completely. You still need to brush your teeth, shower, take breaks, keep yourself groomed, wear deodorant, have fun, get involved, and be yourself. Do what you need to do to succeed and be happy.

12. And 1 More Thing . . . All of the previous 10 points are moot unless you actually put forth the effort to actually get INTO college before you can apply the guidelines set down here. And if you’re already here, than simply apply these tips to your lifestyle and I guarantee that you will succeed in your first semester of college! Thanks for Watching!! *Actual results may very.*