How to create a presentation that everyone in your audience will hate
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How to create a presentation that everyone in your audience will hate PowerPoint PPT Presentation


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How to create a presentation that everyone in your audience will hate. ( Bonus : You’ll hate giving the presentation more than the audience hates it!). Basic Suggestions to Start. Don’t prepare, just “ wing-it ”. Wait till the last minute Be unfamiliar with the material as possible

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How to create a presentation that everyone in your audience will hate

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How to create a presentation that everyone in your audience will hate

(Bonus: You’ll hate giving the presentation more than the audience hates it!)


Basic Suggestions to Start

  • Don’t prepare, just “wing-it”.

  • Wait till the last minute

  • Be unfamiliar with the material as possible

  • Ask someone else to prepare the presentation

    • Or, if no one else falls for that, just borrow someone else’s presentation at the last possible moment!

  • Put together the “look” of the presentation first

    • Concentrate on the details of which font to use in the handouts

  • Never, ever practice.


Advanced suggestions

  • Use your slides as a crutch

  • Put so much text on each slide that no one actually needs to hear you speak.

    • By the time you’re done speaking, they’ll have long ago finished reading and started to daydream about something far more interesting.

  • You should definitely use complete sentences with punctuation.

  • Use an “agenda” slide. That’s always a great way to signal a great presentation is coming.

  • Absolutely never find out who the audience will be and what their interests might be in the topic.

    • Bonus: Don’t be afraid to assume that the audience is either: totally ignorant, or knows nearly everything you do.

  • Use multiple levels of bullets.

    • Because you can’t have enough

      • They’re useful when you don’t know the material and they’ll keep the audience busier as they try to grasp all the indents.


Fonts and Colors are your friends

  • It’s OK to use colors for the foreground and background that are similar in luminance (brightness).

    • This works well:

  • Go ahead and ask, “Can you see this?” at least once during the presentation.

    • Bonus: Scrunch up your face when you ask the question.

  • Use small fonts. Smaller than 18pt is exceptional as you can pack on a tremendous amount of text. Maybe by the time the viewers have finished reading, they’ll have forgotten you’re even standing up there anymore!

  • Use more than 2 fonts on a slide – it will make it exciting!

  • Routinely mix a serif and sans-serif font (like Times New Roman and Arial for example).

Can you read me now?


Graphics & Animation

  • Use lots of clip art – especially clip art that is included with PowerPoint.

  • Steal images and clip-art from the web that you find. If a search engine found it, there must not be a license, right?

  • Use a busy background. “Tech” backgrounds with lots of lines, colors, and 3D effects are particularly nice.

  • Use at least one unique animation per slide.

    • Bonus: Use the typewriter style animation. They rock!

  • Use reflections, everywhere!

  • Select highly animated transitions for slides, not boring dissolves or fades.


The final step:“Wowing” your audience

  • Don’t make eye contact with anyone you don’t know.

    • Bonus: Better yet, don’t make eye contact at all, with anyone.

  • Don’t act interested in the topic.

    • Bonus: Look like everyone else is wasting your valuable time.

  • Dull topics should be presented as dull as possible.

    • If it’s a boring topic, make it boring!

  • Continually look at the presentation screen to verify that no-one has sneakily switched slides on you without knowing.

    • Bonus: Flip back and forth through slides trying to get to the right place.

    • Double bonus: Act like you’ve never used presentation software before and be confused by the “up” and “down” arrows on the keyboard or mouse.

  • Be shocked when the slide changes and you weren’t expecting that slide.

  • Read the slides to the audience. Read everything just to be considerate. Someone might not be looking up at the slide at all times – so they’ll appreciate you reading them the material.

  • Struggle to find the presentation to give


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