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Liking, attraction, friendship and love

Liking, attraction, friendship and love. Factors in liking. proximity attractiveness similarity. proximity. Festinger, Schachter and Back housing two floors 5 on a floor. Who likes whom. Functional proximity is the key. Why proximity?. opportunity interaction

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Liking, attraction, friendship and love

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  1. Liking, attraction, friendshipand love

  2. Factors in liking • proximity • attractiveness • similarity

  3. proximity • Festinger, Schachter and Back • housing • two floors • 5 on a floor

  4. Who likes whom

  5. Functional proximityis the key

  6. Why proximity? • opportunity • interaction • anticipated interaction • predictability

  7. opportunity • have to know to like - to be friends

  8. Interaction andanticipated interaction • why not dislike? • try to get along • maximize agreements

  9. Mere exposure effect • Familiar = good • but also boring • top songs are new, not old • friendships are different!?

  10. predictability • More than mere exposure • avoid problems • do what works

  11. Physical attractiveness • Powerful at first meeting • superficial contact - superficial factor • probably mainly for short-term effects • more for men than for women??

  12. matching • Just pragmatic? • Who brings what? • Highly variable

  13. Evolution and attraction • Men choose fertile women • women choose strong men • really???

  14. Evolution and sexuality • Men can father lots of children • women can produce only one a year • So………..

  15. Ogden Nash • Higamous hogamous • women are monogamous • hogamous, higamous • men are polygamous

  16. resources • Most food from gathering by women • meat shared among whole group • thus, men not providers for their family

  17. protection • Presumably collective • not necessary within group • men do not kill other men’s children • so protector not very important

  18. alternative • Promiscuity doesn’t pay off for men • low chance of conception • maybe 2% of contacts • can’t protect any of them

  19. instead • Can have one mate • still about 2% conception • sure the child is his • protect child

  20. women • Must produce children • Mate may be infertile • sick or away during fertile time • incompatible

  21. So…. • Mate with many men • make sure she doesn’t miss a year • then protect and nurture child

  22. also • Women like sex • chimps sleep around • 50% not related to resident males • so….

  23. Women are the sexy ones • They have to be kept faithful • by lack of freedom • by punishment • morality

  24. similarity • Most true for values, interests, beliefs • less clear for personality • harder to measure

  25. Which traits? • Sincerity and honesty • warmth, loyalty, sociability, sense of humor • rewarding in themselves • not require similarity

  26. Complementarity? • Sounds plausible • little evidence for it • maybe for division of labor or roles

  27. reciprocity • Like those who like us • or even say they like us • or just say nice things about us

  28. ingratiation • Edward (Ned) Jones • less when ulterior motive • but even then • rewarding

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