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Individual Interaction. Chapter 18. Interpersonal Attraction (Friends). On a sheet of paper write the name of one of your good friends (can be someone from when you were younger). On the back, write the name of another friend.

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Individual Interaction

Chapter 18


Interpersonal Attraction (Friends)

  • On a sheet of paper write the name of one of your good friends (can be someone from when you were younger).

  • On the back, write the name of another friend.

  • Under each friend write down some of their characteristics as a friend, how you became friends, what you have in common, etc.

  • Hang on to the list, we’ll come back to it.


Interpersonal Attraction (Friends)

  • Social psychology – the study of how our thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and behaviors are influenced by our interactions with others.

  • Questions social psychologists might ask:

  • Why did we choose the friends we have?

  • What attracted us them in the first place?

  • Are these friendships helpful or harmful?


Anxiety and Companionship

  • When we are afraid/nervous, we seems to want someone there to relate to

  • Examples:

  • “Misery loves company” experiment-

    Higher anxiety = more companionship

    2. 2nd grade – 1st day of Student Council


Comparing Experiences

  • Test Days – how many of you ask someone who has the class earlier in the day about the test? Why?

  • 1st Day of School – how many of you ask your friends what they are going to wear? Ask about certain teachers?

  • We compare experiences to know that we aren’t alone in what we are going through.

  • What if the women in the previous experiment had talked to a friend before going in?


Interpersonal Attraction (Friends)

  • How You Choose Friends

  • Proximity

  • Reward Values

  • Physical Appearance

  • Approval

  • Similarity

  • Complementarity


Proximity

  • Physical proximity – the distance of one person to another person

  • We choose friends based on location.

  • Probably most of your friends go to this high school (or went). You all (for the most part) live relatively close to each other.

  • Example – my neighborhood friends.


Reward Values

  • We make friends based on what they can do for us (is this bad?).

  • Stimulation value – ability of a person to introduce new things

  • Utility value – ability of a person to help you accomplish something

  • Ego-support value – ability of a person to provide support and encouragement


Physical Appearance

  • Varying degrees of physical attractiveness (Dane Cook)

  • Style of clothes/hair

  • Self-Assured/Poised vs. Insecure


Approval

  • Sometimes we just need friends, and we’ll be friends with whoever will accept us.

  • How can this be a good/bad thing?


Similarity

  • Common interests – sports, religion, educational values

  • Agreement on major issues – makes for easier conversation


Complementarity

  • You complete me.

  • Opposites attract?

  • Sometimes you have friends that on paper don’t look like you would match up, but you work.

  • One friend provides what the other lacks.


Assessment

  • Look back at your two friends that you chose that the beginning of class.

  • See what your reasons are for being friends with that person.

  • Is it based on proximity? Similarity? Both? None?


Personal Relationships

  • Parent – Child Relationships

  • Love Relationships


PARENT – CHILD RELATIONSHIPS

  • Erik Erikson – psychologist

    - believed that the relationship of parent and child at an early age influences people’s expectations about relationships with others later on in life.

  • How have your relationships with your parents influenced your relationships with other people?


PARENT – CHILD RELATIONSHIPS

  • Adolescence is usually a time when children and parents have a hard time getting along

  • Generational identity – theory that people of different ages tend to think differently about certain issues

  • What is considered rebellion in one generation is usually trendy in the next.


Love Relationships

  • Two types of love.

  • Passionate – intense, sensual; great excitement, but yet there is the fear that it may go away at any moment (adding to the intensity)

  • Companionate – friendship, trust; more stable love because it includes commitment


Greek Words For Love

  • Eros – passionate, physical love

  • Ludus – love played as a game and not taken seriously

  • Storge – slow-growing love based on affection and friendship

  • Pragma – practical love

  • Mania – highly emotional love (similar to a roller coaster ride)

  • Agape – selfless, giving love


Marriage

  • The chances of being happily married are greater when you marry someone from similar background, education, religion.

  • They are also better if your parents had a good marriage, if you had a good childhood, and you have a good view on marriage as a whole.


STERNBERG’S TRIANGULAR LOVE


Social Perception

  • First Impressions

  • Attribution Theory

  • Non-verbal Communication


First Impressions

  • We tend to make initial judgments on people based on physical appearance.

  • Primacy effect – the tendency to form opinions on others based on first impressions

  • Examples-1. “Guest speaker.”2. Student from my first year.


First Impressions

  • What was your first impression of me?

  • Impressions I gave off in high school

  • Schema – knowledge or set of assumptions that we develop about any person or event

  • Stereotype – a set of assumptions about people in a given category based on half-truths or nontruths


Attribution Theory

  • A collection of principles based on our explanations of the causes of events, other people’s behaviors, and our behaviors

  • Internal/dispositional attributions- based on personal characteristics

  • External/situational – characteristics based on a given situation

  • Example at Woody’s.


Attribution Theory

  • Fundamental attribution error – tendency to attribute others’ behavior to dispositional causes (internal) and discount situational factors contributing to their behavior

  • Actor-observer bias – tendency to attribute one’s own behavior to outside causes but attribute the behavior of others to internal causes

  • Self-serving bias – a tendency to claim success is due to our efforts, while failure is due to circumstances beyond our control (good or bad)


Non-verbal Communication

  • Non-verbal communication – the process through which messages are conveyed using space, body language, and facial expression

  • Body language – the way you carry your body that communicates a certain message


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