Pairing Up

1. Pairing Up Unit 3 – Chapter 6

2. Defining Marriage • “A socially legitimate sexual union begun with a public announcement and with some idea of permanence and assumed with more or less explicit contract.” (Schlesinger & Gibbon, 1984)

3. What makes marriage different from other relationships? • Anthropologists believe the term ‘contract’ implies a socio-cultural understanding about the rights and responsibilities of the individuals in the relationship. • Sociologists refer to marriage as ‘conjugal unions’ to identify relationships in which individuals live together in a sexual or intimate relationship.

4. The Origins of Marriage Anthropologists • Marriage remains the primary relationship in all societies • Helen Fisher (American anthropologist) suggests that the durability of the pair-bond between males and females is essential to the survival of the human race. • Marriage = Children = Continuity of our species

5. The Origins of Marriage • Helen Fisher believes that the desire to form an enduring pair-bond is a basic biological drive • “Human beings almost never have to be cajoled into pairing. Instead we do this naturally. We flirt. We feel infatuation. We fall in love. We marry…Pair-bonding is the trademark of the human animal.” (1992)

6. The Origins of Marriage • What are some limitations of Helen Fisher’s theory?

7. Enduring Pair-Bonds

8. The Origin of Marriage Sociologists: • Marriage is a social invention • Sociologists are interested in the institution of marriage and the stability of the social group formed by marriage

9. The Origin of Marriage Functionalists: • The role of marriage is to help organize society to meet humans’ basic needs • Marriage fulfills the functions of reproduction, socialization of children, and division of labour • Functionalists believe that marriage = happiness

10. The Origin of Marriage Functionalists: • However, most people choose to marry for personal reasons, not to fill a social role • Many individuals feel that getting married gives them adult status within their society and family

11. The Origin of Marriage • Traditionally, marriage was primarily an economic unit (a sharing of resources) • For most of history, love was rarely a consideration when it came to deciding when and who to marry • Women often had little say in who their marriage partner would be

12. The Origin of Marriage • Polygyny – the practice of a man having more than one wife • Historically, this was the form of marriage preferred in most societies • The reasons were mostly economic: men had a high mortality rate (war, disease, etc.) so there were fewer of them to go around • Also, more wives meant more children and more people to share the work.

13. Polygyny vs. Polygamy • Polygamy – a marriage that includes more than two partners or spouses • Polygyny – is a type of polygamy; the practice of a man having more than one wife

14. Polygamy around the world

15. The Origin of Marriage • Polyandry – the practice of a woman having more than one husband • This occurs in areas where a society is so poor that several men are required to support a wife and children

16. The Origin of Marriage • Why would polygyny and polyandry be impractical in Canadian society today?

17. The History of Marriage Ancient Hebrew Marriage: • Marriages were arranged between patriarchal extended families • A betrothal or promise to marry was agreed upon when a boy and girl were still young • The groom’s family paid a bride price to the bride’s family • The bride’s family gave her a dowry in the form of money, land or household items

18. The History of Marriage Ancient Hebrew Marriage: • The mutual obligations of husband and wife were recorded in a marriage contract • A wife was expected to obey her husband • A husband could divorce his wife if she did not have sons

19. The History of Marriage Ancient Hebrew Marriage: • Marriage was designed to ensure children would be born • Sororate obligation – a sister of close female relative would replace a deceased wife in her marriage to provide children from the same bloodline • Ancient Hebrew families traced the family through the mother’s bloodline

20. The History of Marriage Ancient Hebrew Marriage: • Levirate obligation – a brother of a deceased husband had to marry the wife to provide a child as heir for the deceased man • This practice developed when it became important for a son to be born into the family to inherit property • Marriage was an economic arrangement

21. The History of Marriage Levirate obligation: Arthur, Prince of Wales Catherine of Aragon Henry VIII

22. The Purpose of Marriage • In the past, marriage provided access to sexual partners and ensured the bearing and raising of (legitimate) children • Now, 90% of Canadians accept adults having premarital sex but expect to marry when they want to have children • Marriage also allows individuals to share resources to improve their standard of living

23. A Legal Point of View 3 Models of Marriage in Western Society: (Justice Blair – Court of Appeal for Ontario) • The historical classical model emphasizes the complementary biological and social roles of men and women and views marriage as the ideal situation for raising children • The choice model views marriage as a private agreement between individuals, with an emphasis on self-expression of sexuality • The commitment model views marriage as a committed, intimate relationship based on emotional support. Although it is founded on individual choice, it focuses on connection within the community.

24. A Legal Point of View • Canada currently follows the commitment model which assumes: • emotional and financial interdependence for both parties • obligations of mutual support • shared social activities • marriage is more important for raising children than for producing them

25. Love & Marriage Social Exchange Theorists: • explain that being married will be better than being single (benefits vs. costs) • The contemporary ideal in most cultures suggests that marriage is a happy state in which one can love and be loved • Canadians said what they liked most about marriage was companionship, including love and support and the stability of the relationship

26. Love & Marriage • Spouses are expected to express their love for each other in an exclusive sexual relationship (monogamy) • If a marriage must be consummated by sexual intercourse to be valid, this emphasizes the role sexual activity should play in a marriage • In Canada, an exclusive sexual relationship is central to the purpose of marriage, therefore refusing to have sex with a spouse is grounds for divorce, as is adultery (instituted in 1968)

27. Marriage & Identity • When people marry they acquire the status of husband, wife, spouse or life partner • Marriage changes how other people see an individual, but it also changes how individuals see themselves Symbolic Interactionism • explains that by interacting with others who see them as a ‘husband’, ‘wife’, ‘spouse’, or ‘life partner’ individuals take on the appropriate marital role

28. Marriage & Identity • The commitment model is based on a shared lifestyle • In the past, if men or women wanted to improve their social status, they would marry someone of higher status • Today, individuals who want to improve their quality of life will choose a partner who has similar goals and financial means, they will strive together to develop a higher status

29. Demographics & Trends

30. The Timing of Marriage • The timing of significant developments in life is determined by a culture’s social clock and by an individual’s readiness to make the change • Canadians believe the best age to marry is 26.3 for men and 24.9 for women (2004)

31. The Timing of Marriage • the average age of first-time brides was 28.5 years and for grooms was 30.5 years (2004) • many Canadians cohabit before they marry, but it is not clear whether cohabitation is a cause or an effect of delayed marriage • emerging adults are delaying marriage, but they are also delaying cohabitation

32. The Timing of Marriage • Marriage is no longer the significant rite of passage into adulthood that it once was • Several adjustments in the social clock accommodate these changes • post-secondary education • finding a job in the chosen career • employment security • finances • readiness to have a child

33. The Economics of Marriage • Marriage has always been an economic union • The economic benefit is achieved by sharing resources as well as the labour • Marriages are no longer essential for economic survival for women who are employed and self-supporting • Women who are educated and earning comparable incomes to their spouse are less likely to accept traditional marriage roles

34. The Economics of Marriage • As the dual-income marriage becomes the norm, egalitarian relationships (in which both spouses share the responsibilities rather than adhere to fixed gender roles) are more common • Canadian family law assumes that individuals make an equal economic contribution to their marriage

35. The Economics of Marriage • By law, when a couple separates, all assets are communally owned, regardless of individual income • Spouses have a responsibility to share their income for mutual support • Couples who choose to marry or to cohabit for 3 years in Ontario, assume this unwritten contract under Canadian law

36. Cohabitation • Most common choice of Canadians for their first conjugal relationship (a relationship based on a sexual union) • Also called a common-law relationship • these relationships are not governed by written law but by legal and social customs • Although cohabitation begins less formally than marriage, spouses are still subject to some legal obligations and they are more likely to separate than if they were married

37. Cohabitation • Fewer emerging adults are married, but the decline is almost offset by the greater number of individuals who are cohabiting with a partner • Between 2001 – 2006, the number of families with cohabiting adults increased by 18.5%, while families with married adults increased by only 3.5%, and single-parent families by 7.8%

38. Cohabitation • Most people assume that cohabitation means living together before marriage, it is a prelude to marriage, not an alternative • The high divorce rate makes some people feel a need to test their relationship before making a firm commitment • Although cohabitation is perceived to be insurance for a lasting marriage, it is not effective

39. Cohabitation • Fewer cohabiting couples marry than in the past • Common-law couples are more likely to separate than married couples • Couples who marry after cohabiting are twice as likely to get divorced • Why?

40. Cohabitation People who cohabit might: • be less selective about their partner because they feel the relationship is less durable • not make the commitment to the relationship by pooling resources or developing problem-solving strategies • not be sexually exclusive

41. Cohabitation • Perhaps living together without a commitment changes people’s idea of marriage and family and reduces the importance of commitment so they’re more likely to separate when problems arise • Perhaps the problems that prevented marriage in the first place might continue to cause difficulties after the marriage

42. Same-Sex Couples • Same-sex relationships have always existed, since the Civil Marriage Act was passed in 2005, same-sex marriage has been permitted in Canada • In Canada, individuals choose to marry or cohabit based on the romantic attraction of partners, not on the traditional responsibilities that are defined in the law or by religious beliefs

43. Same-Sex Couples • 61% of Canadians feel that same-sex couples should continue to have the right to marry (2009) • marriage provides the same protection to partners and their children in gay and lesbian families that it provides to heterosexual couples

44. What are some qualities you look for in a potential partner?

45. The Dating Game • Your task is to get into groups of 3 (one girl must be in each group) • Create a skit for a dating themed game show • The girl in your group will be the contestant and the boys will be her lucky bachelors • Focus on asking the types of questions that people most want to know about potential dating/marriage partners • Have fun!