The darwin awards lessons from the shallow end of the gene pool oregon h f m a conference
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The Darwin Awards Lessons From the Shallow End of the Gene Pool Oregon H.F.M.A. Conference. Matthew M Eschelbach, M.S., D.O., F.A.C.E.P. Medical Director, Emergency Department St. Charles Medical Center, Redmond, OR. Matthew M. Eschelbach, D.O. [email protected]

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The Darwin Awards Lessons From the Shallow End of the Gene Pool Oregon H.F.M.A. Conference

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The Darwin AwardsLessons From the Shallow End of the Gene Pool Oregon H.F.M.A. Conference

Matthew M Eschelbach, M.S., D.O., F.A.C.E.P.

Medical Director, Emergency Department

St. Charles Medical Center, Redmond, OR

Matthew M. Eschelbach, D.O.

[email protected]

[email protected]


Thanks to our sponsor !!

AcknowledgementTrauma Surgeons


  • “Education is that which remains, if one has forgotten everything one learned in school.”

    Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -Albert Einstein



  • These are true case histories with graphic pictures intended for a medical audience if you are squeamish or unaccustomed to seeing trauma pictures ask your neighbor to tell you if it is safe to look.

  • HIPPA will not be violated, many of these patients self reported their own injuries to the media and are part of the public domain.


  • These case histories are truly intended to teach paramedics, EMTs , nurses, physicians and all those involved in the Medicine community.

  • Sometimes true tragedies befall our patients and we never question, in real time, what we need to do to save their lives.

  • Treat all patients with the respect they deserve.


  • However, sometimes our patients are truly knuckleheads and put themselves or others in harms way and at the end of the day we must sit back and review our treatment plan, protocols and interventions.

  • This talk is intended to examine the lighter side of what we handle on a regular basis. Through their own fate and luck, or lack thereof, our patients can teach us, as well as make us laugh.

Geniuses Among Us

  • In 1953 James Watson, left, and Francis Crick, right, described the structure of the DNA molecule.

"If you really are stupid, I would call that a disease. The lower 10 percent who really have difficulty, even in elementary school, what's the cause of it? "A lot of people would like to say, 'Well, poverty, things like that.' It probably isn't. So I'd like to get rid of that, to help the lower 10 percent."

James Watson, Ph.D

Co-Discoverer of the

DNA Molecule

On the concept of stupidity.

The Darwin Awards honor those who improve our gene pool... by removing themselves from it. These men and women gave their "all" in an effort to improve the human species. Of necessity, the honor is generally bestowed posthumously.

Famous Last Words I:

“I bet no one's ever done this before...”

Famous Last Words II

“It seemed like a good

idea at the time.”

Famous Last Words III

“Watch this!”

Darwinism’s Rebirth

Charles Darwin

  • Darwin, Charles Robert (1809-1882), British scientist, who laid the foundation of modern evolutionary theory with his concept of the development of all forms of life through the slow-working process of natural selection.

Charles Darwin Many people of his day misunderstood Darwin’s theoriesMany people continue tonot understand

HMS Beagle

  • In 1831 the HMS Beagle set forth for the coast of South America , on board was a young naturalist, Charles Darwin. Darwin observed and collected thousands of wildlife specimens Darwin noted the different adaptations that enabled animals to live in environments

    • .

Darwin’s Observations


Darwin’s Observations


Darwin’s Observations


What Darwin didn’t Know and Why was it important ?

Darwin was a true scientist, he spent most of his life experimenting and trying to prove his theories.

Much of what he proposed was based on observation and theory only later did other scientist’s observations help to fortify his work.

He only published his work when the threat of others beating him to the punch became eminent.

What Darwin Didn't Know


Continental drift, proposed in 1912 and confirmed in the 1960s, shows how descendants of a common ancestor were separated when landmasses moved.

What Darwin Didn’t Know

Gregor Mendel 1822-1884

What Darwin Didn’t Know

Natural Selection

Natural Selection

  • A species must show variation.

  • Variations must be inheritable.

  • Not all individuals survive to reproduce.

    ( Nor do we want them to)

  • Some individuals cope with selective pressures better than others.

Natural Selection

Peppered Moth in Natural Setting

What’s in Your Genes?

Mr. Xishun, 56, an astonishing 7ft 11 inches

Mr Pingping, 19 is a mere 2.ft , 3 inches high.

Natural Selection is not Evolution

Axiomnoun,Generally accepted truth : a statement or idea that people accept as self-evidently true.

Axiom Number 1Bad luck is not Darwinism!! You can be stupid but unlucky!!

Axiom Number 2 Long life does not guarantee wisdom.You can be old and stupid!

Driving While Intoxicated knows no age limit.

Do not disrespect the elderly, they may be smarter than you !!

Axiom Number 3 Hair color does effect your I.Q.

Axiom Number 4Women are smarter than men!

Axiom Number 5 Stupidity knows no nationality, it is the same in any language.

(gene pool) Lifeguard Is Now Off Duty

  • All people improve the gene pool, some by birth, some by their demise.-

    A. Chamberlain

Rules and Eligibility(True Darwin Awards )

  • The candidate must be eliminated from the gene pool.

  • The candidate must show an outstanding misapplication of common sense.

  • The event must be verified.

  • The candidate must be capable of sound judgment.

  • The candidate must be the cause of his own demise.

Rules and Eligibility Dr. Eschelbach’s Awards

  • The candidate does not have to be eliminated from the gene pool but must make the medical system strain their minds to prevent them from doing so.

  • We in the E.D.must learn from their stupidity.

  • Sound Emergency Medicine response must help them prevent their own demise.

When will people Stop being so stupid ??

Dr Eschelbach’s List of Common Denominators for Darwinism

  • Alcohol-

  • Drugs-

  • Snakes-

  • Firearms-or Fire

  • Exploding things/ Fire

  • Cars, trucks, motorcycles or any moving thing with wheels

  • Males

  • History of Incarceration

Case Presentations

Darwin Awardsand the Winner is…

DarwinismIs it in Your Genes???

The End

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