Essays cont d
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ESSAYS CONT’D. Examples from Some of your essays.

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ESSAYS CONT’D

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Essays cont d

ESSAYS CONT’D


Examples from some of your essays

Examples from Some of your essays


Essays cont d

When I was 9 years old my mom read to me the parable of the talents. At that time I had no idea the impact it would have or that it would stay in my memory forever. The story is about three servants who were given talents by his master before he left for a long journey. The first servant received five talents, the second two, and the third received only one. The first two put their talents to good use and doubled their money, but the third servant decided to bury his talent. When the master returned he rewarded the first servants for their good work, but he was disappointed by the third servant’s work. In the end he punished the lazy servant by taking his one talent and giving it to the ones who had more.


Essays cont d

This story, as short as it is, taught me the greatest lesson of my life, the importance of being a steward. Stewardship is not only taking care of someone else’s belongings, but valuing and honoring those who invest in us. After all, these investors are giving us the greatest gift already, their trust. You must be wondering, how I’ve learned such an important lesson in such a short life? Well let me answer you that question with this little story: When I was 17 years old my mom moved to Guatemala for her new job. I was just starting my senior year so my mom and I decided the best thing to do was to stay in El Salvador until I graduated from school. It was not an easy change since I would have to take more responsibility of the house and my younger sister. Before my mother moved she taught me how to pay bills and left me a credit card for this purpose. She also taught me how to act in case of an emergency, since our dad was often outside of the city. When she left I had to take a taxi everywhere I needed to, another odd situation for a girl my age. At the beginning it was not easy. I was not used to running errands, paying bills, preparing food, and keeping a budget. When I turned 18 my mom decided to give me a car to make duties easier, which forced me to learn the roads and drive my sister wherever she needed to go. Through all these experiences I became my mom`s steward. It was a tiring and annoying job at times, but in the end the only thing that mattered was that my mom was proud of me and trusted me with such a great responsibility.


Essays cont d

A quote from J. Sidlow Baxter says:“What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficulty, and every difficulty has an opportunity.” Obstacles are external, but the strength to overcome those challenges comes from within. As I mentioned before, being a steward is not only about taking responsibility of what has been assigned to you. It is an opportunity to earn the trust of your investor and to demonstrate how capable you are to take that responsibility. This is why I believe I am the best choice to become your steward through this scholarship. I know I will use this opportunity to flourish in my studies and the results will stand for themselves.


Another essay

Another essay


Essays cont d

The most difficult position on a soccer field is that of a goalkeeper. They have a feeling of loneliness during the ninety minutes of the game. They are the last defense, the one who is responsible for blocking goals. Not anyone can play this position that requires discipline and courage, it takes someone special. Joe Hart is the best goalkeeper in the English Premier League; he has been an inspiration for me to become a goalkeeper.


Essays cont d

Discipline is needed to be a professional. Perhaps I don’t have a perfect discipline, but surely Hart inspires me every day to emulate him. One thing I imitate about him is finishing everything that I have started. Joe started playing baseball in England until he realized that he was a better goalkeeper than a pitcher. Hart set a goal for himself to become a professional goalkeeper and he accomplished it despite any circumstances that caused him trouble. Thanks to Hart’s example of how to be a determined person, I save more money to buy things that I want. For example, I decided to save money for the SAT and I accomplished it; eighty-one dollars in two weeks by just selling cheese and commissions. Another instance of how Joe encouraged me is through his discipline. When I had to do a hydrolysis project for science I thought of him. At first I didn’t know why I chose that project; it required so much knowledge of chemistry that was beyond me. I even thought of changing the project regardless of the fifteen points I would lose. Then I remembered the man I admire and I decided I have to finish it no matter the final result. Maybe it was risky, but in the end it was worth it. I not only learned new things about hydrogen and oxygen, I also had the best grade in the class.


Essays cont d

Discipline is not the only thing that I have learned from Joe Hart. One cannot be a goalkeeper without courage. It is hard to be a courageous soccer player because you can’t be afraid of anything. On the field there are several instances where you have to risk getting injured or something worse. In one game of Manchester City, Joe Hart’s team, against Everton he got seriously injured in one move. While Hart saved a goal, he hit the post with his torso, the most horrible pain that a goalkeeper can suffer. My first impression was that his ribs were broken and indeed I was right, but the impressive thing was that he played the last twenty-five minutes with two broken ribs. His courage was bigger than his injury. Since that moment I learned that courage can beat any physical or mental injury. Joe’s experience reminds me every day that I have to be strong in all aspects of my life. No matter how much the injury gets me down, my courage has to get me up. I have to continue every time something bad happens to increase my courage.


Essays cont d

Joe Hart not only inspires me to be a better goalkeeper every day, but also to be a better person in my everyday life. His courage and discipline are good to examples and that’s why I admire him so much.


Another essay1

Another essay


Essays cont d

Sitting on the field, everything is cold and the breeze chills everything it touches. All darkness is taking out the color that describes the grass and trees; all life seems dead. This feeling of silence and peace gives me a kind of warmth in my thoughts. I used to appreciate the sky during starry nights, thinking about the greatness of the universe and the similarity it has with my own life. I go through time experiencing everything I can while never finishing. The importance of this moment is the way the thoughts may flow through my body and feel the calm of only the nature that night may give me.


Essays cont d

While thinking and dreaming, a ray of sunlight slightly moves through the window of my mind and illuminates everything. I know it’s morning, and the sensation of the warmth of the sun on my face is comforting. A new day that represents new experiences and hopes to accomplish. The new life that this moment produces gives me a feeling of happiness and the determination to conquer a new day full of obstacles, efforts, awards, and even failures. This time is full of life. The birds singing, trees moving harmoniously with the wind, and rivers flowing smoothly through the earth all have significance to me. They represent the way I have to live; with full energy all the time and never be slowed down by any rock in my path. Moreover, they represent the way I have to be; strong, confident, and fearless, but at the same time sweet, patient, and warm.


Essays cont d

All I find in nature has some similarity with my life. When I was a little child, I used to watch how the trees from my family’s farm were cut down and how flowers faded because of the sun. Always at a certain time they’d recover bringing new life; healthier and stronger than before. One day, I suffered a grave accident; a marble table was dropped on my feet. The doctors did not give me hope of walking again. I used to cry for hours and blame everyone for my condition until one day I remembered the tree and the flower that were almost destroyed and recovered because they were strong. Since that day I gave all my effort to walk again and fully achieved it. As a result of that accident I have grown stronger and more determined to accomplish my dreams and overcome obstacles. Nature has been of great importance in my life, since that accident I have been more interested in the environment and willing to be as strong as it.


Essays cont d

To conclude, the significance nature has for me is immense; it has s been an indirect teacher to me. I identify greatly with it; when something makes us fall down, we somehow rise up and keep going, stronger than before. Like a beautiful flower sprouting between the dust of a fire or in arid desert.


Wrong words in context

Wrong words in context

  • When I had to make a hydrolysis project for science I thought of him.

  • Make – do

  • At first I didn’t know why I choose that project.

  • Choose – chose

  • But I remembered the man I admire and decided to continue.

  • But- then

  • May be it was risky but….

  • May be – maybe


More wrong words in context

MORE Wrong words in context

  • I not only learned new things about the hydrogen and oxygen, I also had the best grade in the class.

  • The hydrogen - hydrogen (general, not specific)

  • During the field there are several instances where you have to risk getting injured or something worst.

  • During – on ; worst – worse

  • Joe Hart does not only inspire me to be a better goalkeeper every day, but also to be a better person in my cotidian life.

  • Cotidian???

  • Sometimes it is naturally to fall down, but is necessary to stand up.

  • Naturally – natural


Even more wrong words in context

EVEN MORE Wrong words in context

  • When I had to do an hydrolysis project for science I thought of him.

  • an – a

  • Hart proposed himself to become a professional goalkeeper

  • Proposed –set a goal for

  • They are the last defense, the one who is responsible for receiving goals.

  • Receiving – blocking

  • They have a feeling of loneliness among the ninety minutes of the game.

  • Among – during


Even more wrong words in context1

EVEN MORE Wrong words in context

  • This story is very important for my life because it shows that we can affront big problems and adversities.

  • Affront – confront

  • Then he took the sword of the giant and cut his head.

  • Head off

  • the armament didn’t fit and was heavy for him.

  • Armament – armor

  • …when David pleased King Saul by touching the harp.

  • Touching - playing


Even more wrong words in context2

EVEN MORE Wrong words in context

  • Among my life, I was never inspired by someone or something, but Kaká’s character has really influenced me in my daily living.

  • Among – during

  • The most influential person in my life has been Ricardo Izecson because he has truly been an example of good Christianity.

  • Good Christianity – a good Christian (person = example of a Christian not a religion)

  • I used to cry during hours and blame everyone for my state.

  • during=for; state = condition


Even more wrong words in context3

EVEN MORE Wrong words in context

  • I know is morning, and the sensation of the warm of the sun on my face is comforting.

  • is = it’s; warm = warmth

  • a sunlight slightly moves through the window of my mind and illuminates everything.

  • Sunlight - ray of sunlight

  • All dark is taking out the color …

  • dark=darkness

  • Since that day I did all my effort to walk again

  • Did – gave

  • Nature has being of great importance in my life

  • being=been


Wrong prepositions

Wrong Prepositions

  • When he confronted Goliath this big giant started to laugh of the person who sent King David.

  • Of – at

  • Still David wasn’t scared of Goliath, with only the slingshot and God with him he was ready to fight with this problem.

  • With – against

  • The most difficult position in a soccer field is that of a goalkeeper.

  • In- on

  • Maybe it was risky, but at the end it was worth it.

  • at – in

  • We need to fight with this problem with the help of God.

  • With – against


Capitalization

Capitalization

  • Joe started playing baseball in England until he realized that He was a better goalkeeper than a pitcher.

  • He –he

  • Also one of the best stories came from him when he defeated one of the biggest philistines whose name his Goliath.

  • Philistines

  • When king David was a little child he started to be a shepherd.

  • King David


Verbs tense agreement

Verbs (Tense & Agreement)

  • All darkness is taking out the color that describe grass and trees; all life seems dead.

  • Describe –describes

  • Since that day I gave all my effort to walk again and fully achieve it.

  • Achieve - achieved

  • when something make us fall down

  • Make - makes

  • When King David was a little child he starts to be a shepherd.

  • Starts –started

  • Also one of the best stories come from him when..

  • Come - came


Random

Random

  • I will try to be that light in the darkness, and a real example for those who love me.

  • no comma

  • The birds singing, trees moving harmoniously with the wind, rivers flowing smoothly through the earth, and the true color and face of everything, all have significance to me.

  • parallelism

  • I used to watch how the trees from the farm of my family were cut

  • Possessive

  • Always at a certain time they’d recover bringing new life; healthier and stronger than before.

  • oxymoron


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