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English 21

English 21. Week 9. Freewrite:. Think about the one of the changes you have observed in the place you are writing about for our second essay . What is your opinion of the change? Is it a good thing? A bad thing? Why did it happen?. Discuss Reading Response.

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English 21

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  1. English 21 Week 9

  2. Freewrite: • Think about the one of the changes you have observed in the place you are writing about for our second essay. • What is your opinion of the change? • Is it a good thing? A bad thing? • Why did it happen?

  3. Discuss Reading Response • “The Homecoming and Then the Hard Part” • This story is an example of an individual who has changed and their difficulty returning to a place that has not changed. • How does this relate to our prompt for Essay 2? • This reading is an example of an Alternative Prompt to for Essay 2 • Instead of writing about a place or community that has changed, you can choose to write about changes within YOURSELF that make returning to a particular community or place a challenge (as in this essay)

  4. Grammar Section: Active/Passive Voice and Consistent Tense

  5. Consistent Verb Tense • When we write, we need to keep our verb tense consistent unless there we shift to talking about a different time and it makes sense to change the tense. (See p. 240) • This is a required (meaning correct, appropriate) tense shift: Even though she cleans the counter every day, (present – habitual action) she found ants in her kitchen last week. (past)

  6. Consistent Tense Cont. • This is an unnecessary, incorrect tense shift: • I went to Disneyland last week. We go on all of the rides and buy souvenirs. • How can we correct this sentence?

  7. Consistent Tense • Incorrect: I went to Disneyland last week. We go on all of the rides and buy souvenirs. • Correct: I went to Disneyland last week. We went on all of the rides and bought souvenirs. • The present tense verbs “go” and “buy” have been changed to reflect the fact that these events happened in the past (last week).

  8. Shifts in Person and Number • Shifts can also happen in person and number. • Together, we will review the section in the book: page 238 – 239

  9. Practice Quiz: • Do exercise 9-9 on 241 • Make the verb tense consistent, and choose the tense that makes the most sense with what the sentence is saying. • We will do #1 and #2 as a class. • Do Exercise 9-10 on page 241-242 • This exercise includes shifts in person, number, and verb tense. • One of the sentences is correct. Write “correct” beside that one.

  10. Break Time! • Please return in 15 - 20 minutes.

  11. Active and Passive Voice p. 277 • In sentences that are ACTIVE VOICE, the subject performs the action of the verb. • Example: John hit the ball through the stained glass window. • Who did the hitting in this sentence? The subject (John) did. • In sentences that are PASSIVE VOICE, the action of the verb happens to the subject. The subject does not do anything. • Example: The stained glass window was broken during the game. • What did the subject (the window) do? Nothing.

  12. When to use Active or Passive Voice • In most situations, active voice is the better choice for your writing. • It is less wordy, and it forces you to be more specific. • Passive: The little boy was put to bed by his father. • Active: The father put the little boy to bed. less wordy, smoother, easier to read.

  13. Is Passive Voice ever a good thing? • Passive voice is a good choice when it is unknown who performed the action. • Example: The painting was stolen last month. (By whom? We don’t know….) • Passive voice also works well when the person/thing the action happened to is more important that the person/thing that performed the action. • Example: The president was attacked by a masked man. (We want to draw attention to the fact that it was the president who was attacked. The masked man is less important.)

  14. Practice with Active and Passive Voice • Rewrite the sentences in exercise 10-13 and 10-14 in p. 278-279 so that they use active voice instead of passive voice.

  15. Thesis Statements for Illustration Essays • Thesis statement for this essay: • Should let your audience know what the general change you will be addressing is. • Should be making some comment or expressing some opinion or idea about that change. • A poorly written thesis statement: “The place that I lived has changed a lot over time and now it’s really different, and I guess I don’t really like it as much now.” • How can we improve this thesis statement?

  16. A Revised Thesis Example for Essay 2: • Original: • “The place that I lived has changed a lot over time and now it’s really different, and I guess I don’t really like it as much now.” • Revision: • “My parents’ hometown has attracted more chain restaurants and stores over the years, and as a result many one of a kind mom-and-pop restaurants have gone out of business, and the town feels less unique and more like everywhere else.”

  17. Group Work: Groups of 3 • Read and Discuss the Guidelines for Writing Thesis Statements on page 478-479. • Your book mentions 6 different ways a thesis statement can be revised: keep these in mind when you write your own thesis statements.

  18. Advice on Your Essay • If you are having trouble thinking of a community to write about: • Broaden your definition of "community." It doesn't have to be a physical place. It can be an online community, a faith community, etc. • Even if you think that a place is exactly the same as it was ten or twenty years ago, it's likely that others have noticed some changes. • Ask them, and incorporate what they tell you into your essay. • Try to narrow your place/community down. An entire country is too big to handle in one essay. Choose a specific part of the country you want to write about.

  19. For the Rest of Class… • Get out the outline I asked you to bring to class • (it’s on the back of your Essay 2 Prompt) • Revise the thesis statement you already wrote, or come up with a new thesis statement for youressay. • Discuss your thesis statement with your group. Get suggestions for improvement, or how you might support that thesis statement. • Then brainstorm the rest of your outline with your groups. Once your have some suggestions, start work on a freewrite/draft of your essay to take home with you • Remember, we are writing illustration essays. This means that we are using interesting, detailed, vivid examples to show our main point. • PLEASE NOTE: It is not too late to change your topic if you have thought of something that might work better!

  20. Next Week: Peer Review for Essay 2 Week 10 – Tuesday, October 29In Class: Peer Review for Essay 2. Due: • Rough Draft of Essay 2. Bring 4 typed copies to class for Peer Review and my comments. • MSL: Achieve Mastery in “Pronouns” in the “Basic Grammar” module

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